Are You Suffering From A Blackache?

Cure? Unknown.
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Are you experiencing a Blackache?

Diagnosis

Blackache [blak-eyk] noun

  1. Emotional and physical pain from hearing dumb *ss rationales as to why it’s ok to deny Black humanity constantly.

  2. A condition that occurs when the confluence of rage, pain, and hopelessness consume you to the point where you shut down, take a knee or feel the urge to pick up some blunt object and throw it directly at a person asking you why you’re so mad about the police killing Black people when Black on Black crime is so ramped.

  3. A loss of bodily function as your fists clinch and you yell obscenities as you watch privileged Black people sit with white people and echo “ALL LIVES MATTER” sentiments.

Circumstances that can lead to Blackache

Below are some circumstances that can make your Blackache flare up. New causes of Blackache are being discovered by the minute.

  • You may find yourself caught up in conversations with people asking you why Blacks get so mad about cops instead of Black on Black crime.

  • Meeting a white person that tells you silly things like, “I don’t see color.”

  • Constantly watching videos of Black people gunned down in the streets by jumpy police officers that then receive a paid vacation instead of jail time.

  • When people get outraged that a ball player sat through the national anthem.

  • When right after a Black person gets murdered by the police the media posts up all of his/her personal business that had absolutely nothing to do with what just happened.

  • When Dylann Roof shoots up a church full of Black people and then on the way to jail, the cops turn into uber drivers and take him to get food because he hasn’t eaten all day.

  • When you have to comfort white people after Black people get shot.

  • When people assume Black parents don’t care about education because they can’t show up to the 10am meeting at the school.

  • When professional and educational environments are banning dreadlocks.

  • When non-Black people refer to cornrows as “Boxer Braids.”

  • When you are having a discussion with a non-Black person that is or has dated a Black person and feel that they are now honorary Black.

  • When you find yourself having to defend the murdered Black victim because the media puts him or her on trial in the eyes of the public as opposed to the actual murderer.

  • When you hear that textbooks in Texas got updated to call slavery “unpaid interns.”

Possible Effects of Blackache

  • You may get the urge to show up to your job wearing an all-black hoodie in some Timbs playing hardcore DMX (or insert another artist that scares people outside of Black hip hop culture) at a disrespectful volume.

  • You may get the urge to want to slap everyone on Fox News.

  • You may get the urge to tell white people how you really feel but can’t because you got bills and you know they’ll find some way to get rid of you.

  • You may find yourself wishing you could be nose to nose with anonymous racist commenters on the internet.

  • You may remember back to when Hillary Clinton said she kept hot sauce in her bag and you get angry all over again but then you realize you still have to vote for her because Trump is crazy so then you get even madder.

  • You may find yourself wishing that your job had a ratchet room so you can go decompress all the micro aggressions you constantly experience safely with other Black people in extra ratchet ways right before your 2pm meeting.

  • You may begin to notice people trying to police your body, thoughts, and words more and more in your everyday life.

  • You may not care how this blog post is received and not even doing spell check because you just had to get your thoughts out before you exploded.

Cure/Remedy

  • At this moment, I do not know.

This isn’t a closed article. This is now open source. Blackache is a real thing so add to this. Use it. I don’t even care if you give me credit. Share your thoughts and encourage others to as well. Add to this list because when this Blackache builds up, it takes us out.

God Bless.

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