If you’re an Electoral College member, December 19 could not only be one of the biggest moments in all of American history (and Democracy itself), but it could also be the biggest day of YOUR life. You. The Electors. If you change your vote to Hillary Clinton.
Hear me out: Would you rather have Donald Trump (ally to Russia, proven liar, admitted profiteer; a self-tanning, living internet troll who is also endorsed by Nazis)… or would you rather vote for Hillary (forging your name in our nation’s history along with those such as Rosa Parks and Abraham Lincoln, fulfilling the will of around 3,000,000 more American voters in the popular vote), AND ALSO have Amy Adams play you in the eventual Oscar-winning film about this historic event?
Think about it. They make movies about EVERYTHING. A geek who wanted to meet girls online got Aaron Sorkin to write about him. A couple of Boston Globe reporters landed Best Picture for just doing their job. Even a lady who sold mops on QVC had J-Law contending for the gold. Your story is moments away from the big screen, but only if you change history, by doing what no one has ever done, and swing the electoral college vote to Hillary Clinton.
There’s Amy Adams, America’s Sweetheart, giving her speech at the Academy Awards (2019) as she accepts her statue, dedicating it to you, “I want to thank the Academy, my agent, and the 60 or so brave people of the Electoral College who made this moment in history possible. Those people, those true Americans, who understood what was at stake for our families, for our country, for the very world itself, showed immense bravery and inspired the nation. Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts.” Not a dry eye in the house!
I can already see Matt Damon as an out-of-work Michigan factory worker giving an impassioned plea on the importance of preserving Democracy. “One person! One vote!” He’d be playing you! That would be you giving that speech in the inevitable Oscar-winning film based on your life rights! He might even take you as his date to the Academy Awards! Vanity Fair party, here we come! There you are, best buds with Batman, Captain America, and Star Lord! All you have to do is vote for Hillary Clinton on December 19! Some of you have already vowed to not vote for Trump anyways!
Imagine it now: You’re the quirky upstart Republican elector who isn’t super fond of Hillary Clinton (is anyone?) and you hate the status quo; you’re not big on welfare abuse, and value things like family and prosperity; you just want to make America great again. You’re definitely conservative, but you also know Donald Trump is not the solution (hell, you’d even take Rick Perry over a living Simpsons joke from almost 20 years ago). You realize just because your finger itches, you don’t shove your hand in the garbage disposal to scratch it. So, on December 19, even if it makes you gag, you vote for Clinton instead of Trump.
Every single publication in the world would knife each other to get an exclusive with you. You’d be on the cover of People Magazine! Documentaries would be made about you. Book deals, movie rights, red carpet parties. You’d be bigger than an OJ Juror! You (and 60 or so of your fellow elector friends) would have literally saved us all from World War III. The entire world would thank you. Hell, you could even run for office. “Vote for me! I saved the planet!” Now that’s power.
For those of you who would have to face a couple $100’s in fines, get ready for the GoFundMe’s to start popping up in your name. A pizza place that wouldn’t serve gay people got almost $1,000,000 in support from about 30,000 contributors. Hillary Clinton is currently leading Donald Trump by over 2,500,000 votes in the popular election. Not to mention around 5,000,000 people signed the Change.org petition pleading with you to vote for Hillary. How much “support” for your fines do you think is coming your way if you just bite the bullet and just do it?
Do you want your kids (and nobody else) remembering you as the person who handed our country to the literal inspiration for Bif in Back To The Future? Do you want to hand Putin and his red band of commie criminals and villains immediate access to the launch codes through their very own personal crank-yanker? Do you want Donald Trump to blow up the moon because it didn’t tell him his hair looked nice?
Or do you want your kids (and the rest of the world) to remember you as someone who personally changed American history through one of the bravest actions to impact our nation’s political process? Every ghostwriter on the planet is practically foaming at the mouth to write your best-selling memoirs so the entire world can remember you!
For 212 years the electoral college has sat there, lying in wait, to finally serve its actual purpose. Wouldn’t you rather be one of the people forever remembered in history, as those who proved Alexander Hamilton right? Speaking of, you’d also DEFINITELY (maybe) be getting free house seats to Hamilton on Broadway (some would say that’s worth it just by itself. They’re really hard seats to get!)
The NUMBER ONE way to insure that you, and your family, are guaranteed a healthy, happy, financially secure life, and to be well liked by at least 2,500,000 more people in this country (and pretty much ALL of the rest of the world) is to vote for Hillary. She won’t do anything for you, personally, either, but the rest of the country probably will.
He’s not president yet. Not until you, the Electoral College, meet on December 19.
Just take a deep breath, and don’t forget, if you go with the status quo, no one will ever remember your name, and our country might actually collapse under the might of the man who tried to trademark the phrase “You’re Fired.” Or, you could make a lasting impression to our republic, prove your worth and validity as the Electoral College, and absolutely have a big budget Oscar-winning movie made about you.
Even if it’s not for the “right” reasons (defeating the Nazis and showing the world America is still the best), do it for your own personal gain (and to have a movie made about you). Electoral College: On December 19, vote for Hillary Clinton.
Don’t forget about the Oscars. Just do it. For yourself.
