Donald Trump Wants You To Know About Uranium And Cheap Drugs

02/16/2017 03:07 pm ET | Updated Feb 16, 2017

Today’s nearly hour and a half long press conference was Donald Trump at peak idiot. It was as if he set out to prove to Sean Spicer that he could do a worse job than him.

Trump started with a 30 minute self-indulgent fantasy monologue that even the best fiction and comedy writers would struggle to pen.

Me, me, me!

Trump then wanted to talk drugs...

Bragged about his “fine-tuned machine”...

He moved on to Uranium. Uranium!

FYI: Uranium is a chemical element with symbol U and atomic number 92. It is a silvery-white metal in the actinide series of the periodic table. A uranium atom has 92 protons and 92 electrons, of which 6 are valence electrons. Uranium is weakly radioactive because all its isotopes are unstable (with half-lives of the six naturally known isotopes, uranium-233 to uranium-238, varying between 69 years and 4.5 billion years).”

And if you want to see that dandy, here it is thanks to Tony Posnanski.

And then to Chicago...

Oh yeah, we were supposed to hear about the new Labor Secretary...

Reporters repeatedly pressed Donald Trump on what he plans to do to combat the rise in antisemitism.

Donald Trump then told us...

My head is spinning after watching that f***ing gong show. I’m going to go walk the dog for a bit and get some fresh air. Maybe I’ll just walk him to the pub. I could use a pint or three, we all could.

Thanks for reading. Be sure to follow me on Twitter AND I’m new to facebook, so please add me there as well.

Your friend,

Tommy Campbell

Check out my stand-up album, ‘Hamster Pimp’ on iTunes, Apple Music and Spotify.

New theater tour dates added with Jim Jefferies for February, March and May 2017.

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