Every sexual act is a journey into yourself and your partner. It's a continual exploration of sensations, eroticism, and love. Each relationship is a vessel that embodies both security and adventure in a commitment that offers life's greatest luxuries: time.
Marriage is not the end of romance. It's the beginning! You get years to deepen your connection, experiment, and even to fail and start over. The chapters of eroticism in a relationship is a story with many chapters that both partners are writing together, continuously unfolding. There's always a road we haven't traveled, always something about our partners that still needs to be discovered.
Modern relationships are the melting pot of opposing feelings: safety and transcendence. The security of love and the fire of passion. Controlling both the tame and the erotic parts of a relationship is a delicate balancing act that most couples achieve on occasion at best.
Because erotic intensity waxes and wanes, and sometimes desire disappears. But given sufficient attention, couples can bring the passion back. Because love requires knowing your partner while realizing her persistent mystery. Love is about creating security while staying open to the unknown. Eroticism requires an active engagement and willful intent of both partners.
Willfully engaging in eroticism is an ongoing resistance to the message that marriage is serious; that "that it's more work than play" it's more work than play. That passion is an immature feeling for teenagers. Complaining about sexual boredom is easy and common, but nurturing eroticism is an act of open defiance.
The feeling of passion floods the early days of a relationship. Every word, glance, and touch makes our skin tingle. It's nature's way of bringing us together. But once this captivating rush of desire wanes, many of us check out from the hotel of romance and focus on other things, not realizing we are the ones that have to clean up after ourselves. To make the bed of love. To cook our low desire a hearty meal of sexual fulfillment. Happy couples understand that sex offers a never-ending playground of exploration and excitement.
One of the largest playgrounds of the human body is our skin. With over 22 square miles of land, our bodies have evolved to be caressed. To be touched and felt. To be held. Erotic touching cultivates closes and nervousness. As a guy, I used to go from lips to tits to vagina, with little touching of anything else.
But as I started exploring my partner's entire body, I realized she had a really sensitive spot on her left leg right above her knee. When I kissed parts of her lower back, she would move in delight. And as she explored my body, I discovered new sensations I've never felt before. Some spots I loved, and other spots made me feel uncomfortable because they were so sensitive.
It was exciting. Scary. Thrilling and sexy. I want to offer you the same kind of journey; an exploration into each other's erotic nature. To explore the vast universe of your partner's skin.
For Both Partners
- When I touch you, how does it feel? Do I feel feel fast and strong? Or slow and gentle? How would you like me to touch you differently?
- What is your favorite type of foreplay? What type of foreplay kills your arousal? Is there a part of foreplay you'd like us to work on?
- Some partners say their lover neglects to touching them in some favorite places. Is that true for us? What are some of your favorite places?
- Would it help if I asked you what do you want and need?
Questions for Women to Answer Regarding Sexual Touching
- Many women feel that they cannot ask for nonsexual physical affection like cuddling, being held, or being touched without feeling an expectation for it to be erotic. How do you feel about this?
- Most women wish that a warm touch does not lead to a expectation of sex. Is that true for us? Do you want more variety and openness?
- How do you feel when I touch your clit by hand? Does that turn you on? Is there a way I could make it better?
- Do you like it when I penetrate you with my fingers? Is there a way I could improve it?
- Is penetration as important as clit stimulation? What is your preference? Or do you like to shake things up? What subtle way could you let me know in the act?
- Do you feel embarrassed to ask for clit stimulation from me? If so, what can I do to make it easier for you? I want to please you as best I can.
Questions to Ask Men Regarding Sexual Touching
- A lot of men wish their partners would pay more attention to their penis. Do you wish I would?
- What are your feelings about me stimulating you with my hand? Does it work for you? Is it too tight? Too soft? How could it be better?
- How do you feel about me getting turned on by touching your penis?
This was originally published on Healthy Relationships with Kyle Benson
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