Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
You wouldn't believe all of the Easter eggs I just found lying in the grass outside of this preschool.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 12, 2017
Parenting tiny humans summed up in one photo. pic.twitter.com/hYEDDiylcW
— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) April 12, 2017
Toddler food pyramid:
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) April 11, 2017
Cheese
Yellow crackers
Meat pressed into shapes
F R U I T S N A C K S
The Game of Thrones theme song is playing in Barnes and Noble so I can feel like a badass reading Peppa Pig to my 3yo on a kiddie bench.
— Dad's Take (@DadsTake) April 11, 2017
If you're not cool with your house smelling like hot garbage and Skittles, I would hold off on having kids.
— Close to Classy (@closetoclassy) April 13, 2017
I only just realized that I no longer judge movies based on how much I enjoy them, but rather by how long they occupy my kids.
— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) April 10, 2017
Having kids means your child is mad at you the whole day because you didn't let them spray their own whipped cream.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) April 13, 2017
I like to go to PTA meetings once a year and just yell, "WAIT. WHAT'S GOING ON?" to everything being said.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) April 12, 2017
Interviewer: Are you a risk taker?
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 12, 2017
Me: *flash to when I let my kids play on a phone that had 1-click shopping installed on amazon* hell yes
Another day, another kid's sports team related group text. CAN'T WE ALL JUST BRING OUR OWN SNACK? pic.twitter.com/YkUOprFVm0
— Brittany Gibbons (@brittanyherself) April 11, 2017
Follow my crafty mommy blog for great projects such as Pile of Books in Corner and Wrinkled Mass of Unfolded Clothes in Other Corner.
— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) April 12, 2017
"Pregnancy is beautiful & natural" she typed at 4:30am, craving a Burger King Original Chicken Sandwich so badly she could kill a man.
— Ash (@cray_at_home_ma) April 13, 2017
There's a special branch of Murphy's Law for school photos.
— Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) April 11, 2017
It's like that old saying, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make a toddler eat his waffle cuz you put it on the blue plate, EW."
— Myrrh (@ixix82) April 9, 2017
I'm in that corner of the bed children banish you to
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) April 9, 2017
Had a bag of Flamin' Cheetos for lunch because road trip. And also because I knew I wouldn't have to share them with my 6yo.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) April 12, 2017
*Mentally steels myself before asking how your week-long vacation to Disney World was*
— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 12, 2017
My kids keep calling me from the other room. I need to figure out how to send them to voice mail.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) April 13, 2017
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