ARTS & CULTURE

18 Totally Plausible Pitches For 'Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life' Season 2

Don't deny us this, Amy!

11/30/2016 12:18 pm ET
Saeed AdyaniNetflix
HuffPost

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WARNING: This post contains major spoilers for “Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life.”

Fans have finally had the chance to see Amy Sherman-Palladino and Daniel Palladino’s long-awaited conclusion to “Gilmore Girls,” after the revival hit Netflix on Friday.

It was good to be back in Stars Hollow. But Lorelai and, especially, Rory revealed some interesting character developments that cry out for further exploration: a laissez-faire attitude toward both underwear and fidelity; a tenuous understanding of the journalism profession, the interview process and trail hiking; and, of course, the unremitting certainty that life inside and outside Stars Hollow is all about the Mademoiselles Gilmore.

Based on Rory’s character arc, which seems to be spiraling down rather than growing in the traditional direction, here are a few pitches for scenes from a second season of “Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life.”

*****

Open on Rory and Lorelai sitting at the gazebo. “So, I’m thinking about getting an abortion,” says Rory. “Yeah, good call,” says Lorelai. End series.

*****

Open on Rory and Lorelai sitting at the gazebo. Lorelai looks stricken. “I am pregnant ... with my first memoir!” adds Rory. “My book about you having a baby is my baby.” Lorelai is stone-faced. “Condè  Nast wants to publish it!” says Rory. “Probably! I just have to pitch it to them, first.” Condè Nast does not want to publish Rory’s book, which is not mentioned again for the remainder of the series.

*****

Open on Rory and Lorelai sitting at the gazebo. “Who’s the father?” asks Lorelai. “I don’t know how it’s even possible,” says Rory. “I haven’t slept with anyone in months.” “Oh, come on, we had sex five weeks ago!” explodes Paul. The women, previously unaware that Paul was present, stare at him with mild curiosity. “Who’s that?” asks Lorelai. “Fuck if I know,” says Rory.

*****

Open on Rory and Lorelai sitting at the gazebo. “Who’s the father?” asks Lorelai. “Logan,” says Rory. “Logan? Like, your-ex-who-just-got-engaged Logan?” “Yeah.” “Aww, honey,” says Lorelai, squeezing Rory’s arm affectionately and beaming. “You’re such a good kid.”

*****

Open three months later, at the gazebo. Rory and Lorelai are sitting at the gazebo, drinking coffee, as Rory massages her growing baby bump. “So,” Rory says slowly, “I have some news.” “Yeah?” says Lorelai. “I’ve been so worried about being alone and raising the baby by myself,” says Rory. “But, well ... Stars Hollow proposed. It loves me more than anything, OK? It wants to raise the baby with me. It makes me feel safe.” Lorelei smiles tearfully. “Full freaking circle,” she whispers.

*****

Open at Logan and Odette’s wedding. Suddenly, Rory, seated in the crowd, gently clears her throat. All eyes are immediately on her. “Ace, what are you doing here?” says Logan, incredulous, rushing to her side. “Logan, we’re having a baby,” says Rory. “I know we had a deal ― no strings ― but I thought you should know.” “Cool,” says Logan, leaning in and softly tongue-kissing her. “I’m gonna go get married now.”

*****

Open one year later at the gazebo. Lorelai and Rory are sitting together. Rory is feeding a baby bottle of hot java to her infant daughter. “It’s a lifestyle,” she says. “It’s a religion,” says Lorelai. They get up to buy tacos, arm in arm. Forty minutes later, Rory runs back to the gazebo, shrieking, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I forgot you were here!” She skids to a halt and picks up the baby’s car seat. Lorelai follows behind, annoyed. “You have got to adopt that kid out.” “I know, I know,” Rory sighs. “I just keep forgetting.”

*****

Open one year later on the darkened porch of Lorelai and Luke’s house. Rory and Jess are sitting together talking as the adults bustle around inside. “So, did you really lose all your underwear?” says Jess, his eyes soft with longing. “Yeah, kinda,” laughs Rory. “What have you been wearing?” “Just the same pair I have on.” “Don’t you need to take them off and wash them?” asks Jess, incredulous. Rory blushes sweetly. “I don’t really secrete bodily fluids or anything.” “My God,” says Jess. “You’re so beautiful.” They have sex.

*****

Open one year later at the gazebo. Lorelai, Luke and Rory are sitting together on the steps. “So I’ve been thinking,” says Luke. “Rory, I’d like to adopt you. I’ve always wanted a daughter, and you’re like the child I never had.” “What about April?” asks Rory. “Who?” says Luke. “Super proud!” says Lorelai. 

*****

Open one year later at the gazebo. Lorelai and Rory are sitting together. “Where’s the kid?” says Lorelai. “With Lane,” says Rory. “Or Paris. Or Didi. Or my underwear box.” “You’re really doing this single mom thing, kid,” Lorelai tells her affectionately. The child is finally seen at the end of the last episode. She is pregnant. (BOMBSHELL!!)

*****

Open one year later at the gazebo. Lorelai and Rory are drinking coffee together. “Mom?” says Rory. “Yeah?” says Lorelai. “I finally found my underwear!” “Where was it?” asks Lorelai. “Everyone in Stars Hollow raided my box to take a pair to keep under their pillow,” says Rory with a shrug. “This town is mob-ruled!”

*****

Open one year later at the gazebo. Lorelai, Rory and Luke are sitting together. Rory is holding her infant. “I love getting the whole family together,” says Lorelai. “What about April?” says Luke. “Who?” says Lorelai. “April, my daughter.” “Sorry,” says Lorelai, “I don’t think I’ve ever met her.”

*****

Open one year later at Lorelai and Luke’s house. Lorelai bursts into the kitchen, worked into a lather, and exclaims, “I’m doing Into the Wild!” “Book or movie?” asks Luke. “Book, obviously,” says Lorelai. “You’re going to hate dying slowly of mysterious exposure-related causes in the wilderness,” remarks Luke grumpily. “Maybe,” says Lorelai, determined. “But this is something I really need to do for me.”

*****

Three years later. Lorelai picks up her phone and dials a number. “Hi, Mom!” she says. “How’s Nantucket? Listen, you’re a terrible mother and I’ll never really love you, OK? God, I’m sorry!” She hangs up just as Rory appears. “What’s up?” says Rory. “Ugh, my mom is so impossible,” says Lorelai. “This conflict is going to take at least three episodes to properly resolve.”

*****

Three years later, at the gazebo. Lorelai and Rory are sitting together, swigging from gigantic empty coffee cups. David Remnick walks by, taking in the beautiful autumn scene, when Rory catches his eye. “Excuse me, young lady,” he says, hurrying over. “Aren’t you Rory Gilmore? THE Rory Gilmore?” “I’ll cop to that,” she blushes. “You wrote that Talk of the Town piece that has gripped the entire media world for four years! At The New Yorker, we’ve been searching for you nonstop! There’s a job waiting for you, whenever you want it.” “Ehhh,” says Rory. “I mean, you’re not exactly Condé Nast, and I have some irons in the fire.”

*****

Three years later, at the gazebo. Lorelai and Rory are sitting together, miming that they’re eating doughnuts and drinking coffee. “I can’t believe how much they cut the prop budget this season,” says Rory.

 *****

Three years later, in Stars Hollow. Rory is walking through the streets holding a Pop Tart delicately between her fingers and nibbling at it like a squirrel. Lane is leaving her house. “Hey Lane!” says Rory. “Can I come look for my box of underwear? I’m still going commando.” “I actually burned it all two years ago,” says Lane. “Right around the time my mother died and you didn’t notice.” “How’s Zack?” Rory asks. “We got divorced,” says Lane. “I’m so glad we’re still so close,” Rory exclaims, reaching out her stiff Barbie arms to embrace Lane. “Like sisters.”

*****

Forty years later, at the gazebo. Lorelai and Rory are sitting together, drinking coffee and enjoying the crisp fall air. With them is Rory’s daughter, Vivienne Jolie-Pitt. There’s a movement in the bushes, ands Max, Chris, Digger and Mr. Coffee shuffle out. “Lorelai, are you happy?” they ask in a four-part harmony. Lorelai turns to Rory. “I’m pregnant,” she says.

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