Having Boundaries Doesn't Mean You're a B*tch

Having Boundaries Doesn't Mean You're a B*tch
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

And whoever told you it's bitchy to have boundaries may need to surrender their backstage pass.

Okay, so what if they really never actually said that exactly, but you still feel like it's rude, unkind, mean, or it feels . . . Ooooooooo--just really uncomfortable to set boundaries with people. I mean, after all, everyone wants to be liked, right? No one wants to feel they have to defend their right to a front row full of people who love and honestly appreciate them.

And, no one likes a heckler either.

Because the only thing a heckler is there to do is make the person on stage feel uncomfortable up there on stage. Maybe the heckler paid a little bit of money to get into a show, maybe they bought a discount ticket--or maybe someone handed it to them for free out on the street. No matter how they got their mitts on a good ticket, they are there for one thing--to ruin the show for the star on stage, who by the way, is only up there doing their best to deliver their best star-quality performance and to love and appreciate the audience right back.

The heckler? He's there to steal the spotlight just enough to frustrate or humiliate you to such a depth that you run off the stage before you start crying in front of everyone--while he waits for you out on the street beside the backstage door for an autograph.

Let's be clear.

The hecklers and the fruit-throwers are there because they want to be there. They throw their fruit because they can, and clearly, have decided they have nothing more productive to do in their own lives except making a nuisance of themselves. If they realized they had more to offer the world than unproductive, disrespectful, and destructive criticism, they might be a shining star, too.

Just like you.

It's hard to know that so many women find themselves wanting to run off their own life's stage to hunker down in the back broom closets hiding their head under a floppy rag mop just to avoid the people sitting in their front row.

Consider this your friendly knock on the door.

I've got something for you. It's the beginning lesson for the Boundary Map™ I developed to help you change your mindset about your own personal (and professional) life boundaries. It's the easiest and fastest way to start recognizing who the hecklers are and how to start the BYOB (Be Your Own Bouncer) process without feeling like you're being a bitch . . . because I don't think you are a bitch, I think you're just trying to shine.

And that's exactly what you're supposed to be doing.

Need better boundaries? Here’s the easiest and fastest way I know: Start by checking yourself out with the Boundary Map™ Big-6 Check Yourself Out Checklist. It’s free, and it’s right here.

Popular in the Community

Close

What's Hot