It's the Kentucky Derby, so you know what that means: booze and bets. Oh, also hats.
Here at HuffPost Weird, we're getting our debutante diva on by seeing just how sloppy we can get drinking mint juleps and completing tasks while keeping our hats firmly on our heads.
We're doing the tough tests so you don't have to. You're welcome, world.
Beer Pong
Sure, you might need to elevate your arm a little higher to make the shot, but just look at that form! And beating someone in beer pong while wearing a cutsie, giant pink hat? It’s like pouring salt on the wound, and we love it.
VERDICT: There's nothing in this world that can stop you from playing beer pong. And who knows, maybe focusing on the hat will stop you from over-thinking your shot.
Sun Protection
These hats aren’t exactly the best for blocking out the sun. But it’s all about style, not practicality.
VERDICT: This isn't the hat to take with you if you forgot your sunblock, and the shadows cast on your face may unintentionally age you by 40 years.
Fitness
Who says you can’t work out with a giant hat and some booze? Two jumps on the tramp should meet the monthly quota for getting healthy.
VERDICT: If you get some intense air while jumping your hat may come flying off. But jumping with a mint julep will prove to be the tougher task.
Hat Hair
Whether you have no hair, or a marvelous head full of it, these hats fit all sizes.
But be warned: these monster head pieces give some serious hat hair. Our model was not pleased.
VERDICT: Keep the hats on when you decide to wear them. It'll be awfully tough to salvage your hair if you take it off.
At The Office
We’re not sure if they’re trying to look stylish, or just trying to disguise their hangovers.
VERDICT: If you love your Derby hat so much you need to wear it into the office, you can do it. But you will definitely get some strange looks from your colleagues.
Vertical Transportation
Pro tip: wearing giant hats in a packed elevator is the surest way to make all of humanity hate you.
VERDICT: TAKE IT OFF!
Liquor Consumption
Shots are likely to abound when watching the Kentucky Derby. Just make sure to keep your hat on your head, you heathens!
VERDICT: This all depends on how you take your shot. If you really toss it back, you'll be bending over to grab it after every round.
Masculine Adornment
Can men look sexy in giant, frilly hats? The answer is yes. Seriously, just look at them. We’re gettin’ all hot and bothered over here.
VERDICT: If you look this good, you can pull off just about anything.
Proximity Acceptance
Need more bench space? Just suffocate someone with those giant peacock feather lookin’ things.
VERDICT: Hats like these are not ideal for public spaces, other than the Derby of course.
Yoga
We like to think it helps with balance. Oh, and the mint julep is also a nice way to find your spiritual center.
VERDICT: Can you get your zen on with a giant hat? Absolutely. Just avoid the tougher poses.
Famine Solving
We can’t tell if she’s eating a hat, or if the hats are trying to eat her. SOMEONE SAVE THIS POOR GIRL!
VERDICT: As nice as they look, NO, these hats are not edible. Not even the flowers.