WEIRD NEWS
02/25/2014 02:08 pm ET | Updated Feb 25, 2014

Man Says Domino's Pizza Burned Him When He Had Sex With It: Company Responds

Have you recently burned yourself having sex with a pizza? Was that pizza from Domino's? If so, you're in luck: the good folks behind the chain's Twitter feed will be happy to help you out. Just check out the incredible exchange below for proof:

.@Dominos_UK HELLO I'VE JUST MADE LOVE TO ONE OF YOUR PIZZAS AND BURNT MY PENIS SEVERELY. PLEASE ADVISE ON YOUR TERMS FOR A REFUND. THANKS.

— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

@NotArsedLike @ITK_AGENT_VIGO Please contact our head office - comments@dominos.co.uk regarding this matter.

— Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014

.@Dominos_UK DISGUSTING FOB OFF,YOUR STAFF SHOULD INFORM CUSTOMERS ABOUT THE DANGERS OF MAKING LOVE TO YOUR PIZZA. WHY IS THIS NOT IN PLACE?

— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

@ITK_AGENT_VIGO Our apologies, we will look for a way to notify customers of this in future. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.

— Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014

.@Dominos_UK I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS, NOT HAPPY AT ALL, I HAVE A MULTITUDE OF PEPPERONI PIECES STUCK TO MY BALLS AND MY PENIS IS SCORCHED.

— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

@ITK_AGENT_VIGO As you have previously been advised, please email our head office about this

— Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014

.@Dominos_UK LOOK, I'VE TRIED EMAILING YOUR HEAD OFFICE WITH NO SUCCESS BUT NOW THE PIZZA WANTS TO GIVE ME A BLOW JOB, PLEASE ADVISE.

— LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

@indiantank @ITK_AGENT_VIGO It is definitely recommended, as that is not what is expected of our pizzas. We raised them better than that!

— Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014

It's worth noting that Domino's has a history of making unusually self-critical apologies -- though this is probably the first involving sexual congress with a pizza.

Hat tip: Gawker

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