Where can modern women look for inspiration that’s truly authentic?
If you’re like me, you may have become a bit tired and even bored of the “modern” feminist narrative. It’s too safe, too neat, too polite and painfully politically correct.
Maintaining some form of prim perfection seems to remain the “new normal” despite neo-feminist proclamations and the glorious body baring antics of Lena Dunham and all her ‘Millennial’ ‘Girls’
Sofia Ek is that kind of woman, and her best-selling memoir on Amazon, The Minefield Girl http://a.co/az4mus5, is the transformational narrative women need to hear today.
The raven-haired stunner is more Lara Croft than Carrie Bradshaw.
When she became disenchanted with her 20-something-self, the Swedish native jumped at the opportunity to present Muammar Gaddafi´s Libya to the western world of big business via the pages of The Wall Street Journal´s former monthly publication Smart Money.
As she learned to navigate Gaddafi´s military dictatorship she realized that nothing was what it appeared to be and that she was watched at every turn. However, Sofia was determined to succeed and to be part of something bigger than herself, oblivious of the minefield she had walked into.
Where most stories like hers center around the trials and tribulations of negotiating with the “Devil Wears Prada-like” dictators of fashion magazines or fending off married Wall Street men, Ek ducks danger daily, negotiating with criminals and dictators even becoming dangerously close to Gaddafi’s proposed heir, Saif Al Islam Gaddafi, and navigating cultural norms that are polar opposite to those she grew up in. Along the way, she finds new powers within herself to lift her head high in a culture where women are punished for doing so.
The author lays herself beautifully bare for the reader, exposing the most vulnerable version of herself on the quest to express the best ultimate version of herself.
Doing this intimate act of self-exposure would be a risk for any woman, but for Ek it’s even greater.
She’s married to one of the world’s most prominent tech visionaries, Spotify founder Daniel Ek, and with that she carries the crown and burden that being “the wife of” entails.
A burden of self-censorship at best and paranoia at worse, where one cannot fully express themselves at the risk of doing something to hurt their partner’s career. One only needs to look to American politics or most of today’s top TV shows to see this marital dynamic play out.
As someone also married to a prominent man, I’m even more inspired by The Minefield Girl and the authentic, fresh voice Sofia Ek presents to the world.
When I begin to censor myself, I now think of Sofia. She’s a reminder for me to stand out and fearlessly challenge the small boxes people want to shut women in. Read her fun and modern interview below and I think you will agree with me.
Then go read The Minefield Girl http://a.co/az4mus5 because you won’t be able to put it down.
Natalia Brzezinski: Why did you write this book?
Sofia Ek: Getting that ten-thousand-foot perspective was exactly what I needed to move past the dark memories and on to a much lighter and more positive attitude towards my Libya experience.
Until recently I considered it a failure, but as I read the book from start to finish it dawned on me that it wasn´t. I mostly succeeded in accomplishing the goals I set out for myself. I have a sense of pride about it now.
What lessons do you hope your daughters will take from your book when they read it one day that will help them navigate modern challenges?
My story is authentic. We’re living in a world where everyone is glorifying their lives. This is dangerous because it´s not real. I wanted to show with this book what trying to succeed no matter what really looks like.
It´s brutal, amazing, exciting and draining, all at the same time. Just like life. It´s exciting to have a purpose, a mission and that you can find a new context to exist in if you don´t like the one you´ve been placed in.
As a mother, what’s the most important thing you’re trying to teach your own daughters about?
To stand up for themselves and to not let the fear of not fitting in cripple their ability to dream big.
What was the most difficult thing about writing this book?
Remembering all the risks I took for the adventure. Even though I´m very thankful that I didn´t end up in a more compromising situation than I did, it´s still hard to reel those suppressed emotions in and lay them bare on paper. Not just the bad ones, sometimes, happy memories can be as painful.
What has been your greatest life challenge thus far, and how have you overcome it?
The value of the present. It´s a work in progress.
What did you learn about yourself while living in Libya?
That my lack of patience is a good thing. I would never have been able to climb to the top with that weight in my knapsack. Sometimes patience is just another word for “It´s not going to happen”.
I learned to always keep my ear to the ground and my eyes on the prize. To know when to quit and who to ask for favors and when to follow up on their promises.
How have you changed from that young 20-something in Libya to the woman you are today?
I used to nurture my restlessness with drastic twists and turns because that´s what I thought I needed to keep it in check - but it turns out that the antidote to my restlessness was the exact opposite. Smooth sailing is of course more enjoyable if you just went through a storm.
Is there anything we can learn from Libyan culture? What was your favorite thing about living there?
In Sweden we are not proud of our elderly. We are almost ashamed of them. In Libya they were valued and appreciated within the family. They were considered a source of knowledge and comfort and I liked that. I also loved Libyan bread. So much sugar.
How has Sweden shaped you as a woman?
I´m opinionated and Sweden protected and allowed me to be that way. In my world gender equality in free countries are mostly circumstantial. This is why it´s so important that every single woman stand up for themselves in any given situation where they might be disrespected.
We need to start doing what men have done since the beginning of time; look out for ourselves.
You raise a brutally honest point that most women are afraid to state: You used your looks and charisma to get ahead. How do you view the power of femininity in the modern workplace?
If your femininity and charm is part of your artillery then use it -- and if it´s not, make sure you sharpen the other tools you might have. However, pretty and charming as isolated attributes are useless in the long run, unless they are backed up with something of substance.
What advice would you give your younger self?
Don´t let yourself get worked up over absolutely everything. Pick something to be pretty freaking upset about and then do something about it.
Are you a feminist? If so, what does that mean to you?
I can´t believe I must answer this question in 2017.
All women should be feminists. In case someone still doesn´t know what it is, here we go: Women should have the same obligations, rights and opportunities as men. This includes the same social, political and economic rights.
How do you hope people view you and your story upon reading this?
What they think of me is irrelevant but if my story inspires someone to take that new job, make that trip, meet that stranger, mission accomplished.
Watch the awesome book trailer below: