Mitch McConnell Is Your Doctor Now

Now may be the time to send the Senate Parliamentarian some flowers

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The GOP demonstrated to the American public what it can do with single-party rule by funding the government for a few months and passing one of its signature bills with a one-vote margin. Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough are engaged, answering the question whether Bank of America would ever get to sponsor someone’s wedding vows. And at this point, we’re quite convinced the could pass a non-binding resolution honoring ABC’s 1990s T.G.I.F. lineup and Trump would tout it as a earth-shattering victory. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Thursday, May 4th, 2017:

HOUSE REPUBLICANS REPEAL OBAMACARE...EXCEPT NOT AT ALL - There are going to be 50,000 terrible political cartoons published this week of an exhausted hiker reaching a plateau with someone pointing to a much higher plateau labeled “SENATE” aren’t there? Matt Fuller: “After years of promises and months of delays, House Republicans passed their version of an Obamacare repeal and replacement Thursday, muscling the far-right legislation through their chamber by feverishly pressuring moderates in the closing days. Republicans passed the bill 217-213, with 20 Republicans voting ‘no’ and not a single Democrat voting in support. But what seems like a victory for House Republicans may ultimately be their downfall…. While Republicans were cheering as they crossed a passing threshold, Democrats began singing to their counterparts a popular anthem, ‘Na-na-na-NA, na-na-NA, hey, hey, hey! Goodbye!’” [HuffPost]

Read this if you want to know what this bill, you know, actually does.

OH, RIGHT, THE SENATE - Is it just us, or was there a recent instance of the CBO pouring water on a lackluster GOP health care proposal? Maybe it was just a dream. Michael McAuliff: “The difficulty in the Senate is that a number of Republicans are intent on preserving the Obamacare expansion of Medicaid in their states, and determined to keep Obamacare protections for people with pre-existing medical conditions. The House plan would cut Medicaid spending by at least $800 billion, and give much of that money to wealthy taxpayers. It also leaves the issue of pre-existing conditions up to states, which could waive Obamacare requirements. How to satisfy House conservatives, who insisted on the Medicaid cuts and the waiving of pre-existing condition rules, while also satisfying senators who want to protect those items may not be possible…. Still, any measure can only afford to lose two of the 52 Republicans in the chamber and still pass. At least a half-dozen GOP senators have already expressed opposition to the tack the House was taking.” [HuffPost]

Or, put another way: “Several Republican senators said Thursday that they expect the Senate would effectively be crafting its own measure — appearing to distance themselves from the controversial House bill. ‘I think there will be essentially a Senate bill,’ said Sen. Roy Blunt (R-Mo.), the fourth-ranking Senate Republican.” [WaPo’s Sean Sullivan, Paige Winfield Cunningham and Kelsey Snell]

No, we can’t: “President Donald Trump celebrated the House’s vote to pass an Obamacare repeal in a gathering with GOP lawmakers at the White House. ‘This is a great plan. I actually think it will get even better,’ Trump said on Thursday after the vote. Trump said he is ‘confident’ the legislation will pass the Senate. While speaking about the House passage of the bill, he praised Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.).... ‘How am I doing?’ Trump asked the lawmakers standing behind him. ‘Hey, I’m president! Can you believe it?’” [HuffPost’s Paige Lavender]

VA-gov candidate Tom Perriello released a new ad featuring the Democrat touting his support for Obamacare while an ambulance is crushed (literally) in the background.

The “60 Minutes” feature on this is really going to hurt: “The Republican health care plan that passed the House on Thursday could increase costs for up to 7 million veterans, Democrats working on veterans issues warned.” [HuffPost’s Akbar Shahid Ahmed]

The health care sector does not like this bill at all: “Throughout that process, one thing has been clear: Republicans haven’t been listening to people who treat and represent patients. That’s a big reason why physicians, hospitals, nurses and organizations advocating for people with serious illnesses are all but uniformly opposed to the American Health Care Act.” [HuffPost’s Jeffrey Young]

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WOMEN EXTRA-SCREWED OVER, PER USUAL - The GOP must be privy to Census data showing there to be WAYYY more white guys in Wrangler jeans named Gary than we thought, because we don’t think they’re operating a successful long-term political strategy. Laura Bassett: “The House of Representatives passed a health care bill on Thursday that would block Medicaid funds to Planned Parenthood, which could strip birth control access and preventive health care from an estimated 390,000 low-income women. Republicans have been trying to defund Planned Parenthood since they gained control of the House in 2010 because some of its clinics offer abortions. The House bill, which would repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act, would prevent Medicaid from reimbursing Planned Parenthood for preventive health services like contraception, Pap smears and sexually transmitted infection screenings. Roughly 60 percent of Planned Parenthood’s 2.5 million patients rely on public assistance for health care, so the law would force them to look for another affordable family planning provider.” [HuffPost]

Shout out to next week’s inevitable PPP poll showing most Trump supporters thinking the ACA has already been repealed: “The Republican health care bill passed by the House of Representatives on Thursday breaks President Donald Trump’s promise not to cut Medicaid. Trump first touted his opposition to Medicaid cuts in May 2015, shortly before formally announcing his presidential candidacy (and while taking a shot at GOP rival Mike Huckabee).... Speaking at a campaign event the following month, Trump vowed to ‘save Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security without cuts.’” [HuffPost’s Daniel Marans]

PROTECTED CLASS NOT TOTALLY SCREWED BY TRUMP - Jennifer Bendery and Elise Foley: “It appears that LGBTQ rights advocates can breathe a sigh of relief after President Donald Trump on Thursday signed a religious liberty executive order that doesn’t target the LGBTQ community, but rather focuses on allowing churches to get more involved in politics.Rumors had been swirling for days that Trump was poised to take action to allow virtually any federally funded entity with a religious affiliation to refuse service to someone based on religious objections to same-sex marriage, premarital sex, abortion or transgender identity. Such a move would have, in effect, licensed the government to discriminate against LGBTQ people. Instead, Trump signed an executive order to make it easier for churches to engage in politics without risking their tax-exempt status ― a controversial but far less extreme action than expected.” [HuffPost]

MOST POWERFUL PERSON IN THE WORLD BELIEVES IN NOTHING - Good luck on trying to keep your generator up and functioning in your bunker — make sure your slop bucket isn’t positioned nearby. Amanda Terkel and Cristian Farias: “President Donald Trump, who wants to ban Muslims from entering the United States, advocated ‘tolerance’ for people of faith Thursday in a ceremony hosting religious leaders at the White House. ‘Today, my administration is leading by example as we take historic steps to protect religious liberty in the United States of America,’ Trump said. ‘We will not allow people of faith to be targeted, bullied or silenced anymore. And we will never ever stand for religious discrimination. Never, ever.’ During the campaign, Trump called for ‘a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can figure out what is going on.’” [HuffPost]

BECAUSE YOU’VE READ THIS FAR - Here’s a toddler scoring an incredible goal.

SENATE PASSES BUDGET, AVOIDING SHOWDOWN FOR ANOTHER FEW SECONDS OR SO - That poor, abused can. Kelsey Snell: “The Senate voted Thursday to approve a $1.1 trillion spending bill to fund government through September, preventing a government shutdown. President Trump is expected to sign the measure, which passed 79 to 18. It includes more than $15 billion in new defense spending and $1.5 billion in money for U.S. border security, ahead of a deadline to keep the government open past Friday.” [WaPo]

COMFORT FOOD

- How to make a hit song.

- College graduate turns his graduation photos into famous rap album covers.

TWITTERAMA

@byrdinator: Justin Amash seems tired. “I just can’t right now,” he tells me when I ask him about his decision to vote for AHCA.

@CahnEmily: What’s happening on the WH lawn RN would be like the Falcons celebrating their Superbowl win @ halftime.

@jenhab: Press releases that start with: AS YOU MIGHT KNOW, House Republicans will vote to repeal the ACA...

Got something to add? Send tips/quotes/stories/photos/events/fundraisers/job movement/juicy miscellanea to Eliot Nelson (eliot@huffingtonpost.com)

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