As soon as that light flashes, you must check your phone. It's like a reflex -- you don't even notice how constantly checking your phone affects you and the people around you. If extraterrestrials observed our day-to-day lives, they would wonder how these little devices were able to take complete control over humans.
In this age of technology, it seems we are constantly attached to our iPhones, Blackberrys, iPads, laptops, anything that beeps, blinks or chirps. We have a difficult time telling our technology, "No." No, I'm not answering that email right now. No, that phone call can wait. No, I don't have to text back immediately. It's almost as if we are inexplicably drawn to answering our phones, like we have all this pressure from this one piece of technology. But no, we realize, we are putting the pressure on ourselves.
We are overscheduled, overbooked, overextended. And some of us even wear it like a badge of honor. You know the type. "Oh, I'm so exhausted. I have to finish a report by noon, meet so-and-so for lunch, then I have exactly 15 minutes to drive home, then take Johnny to soccer practice at 6 p.m., then go back to the office until 10 p.m. -- I'm so tired." (Then adding a long yawn for emphasis.)
Being that busy and stressed out is a choice. No one is forcing you to take on all of these responsibilities and activities. Sometimes it seems that being overscheduled is almost a status symbol -- "Look at all of these things I do."
When I talk with chronically, overscheduled people, my first question is, "What would you do if you just had a day with nothing to do?" I inevitably get the answer, "That is impossible. I have deadlines to meet, kids to take to practice, dinner to cook, phone calls to make -- what are you talking about?"
My response is usually, "You do have a choice. You make a conscious decision to engage in all those activities. What if you chose to give yourself a day of just being?"
"What the hell is that -- 'just being'? What, like I have to chant a mantra or something?"
"Well, that certainly is an option, but not necessary. What if you could just have a day where you did nothing?"
It's amazing how the concept of this can really freak people out. I think our identities have been so wrapped up in what we do that we have forgotten what it is like to just be. It's a scary proposition to realize that the world still revolves and people can still function just fine when you take a break.
Put your phone down for the day. Take a walk. See where the day takes you. Take a "mental health day." Learn the word "no", and use it. Say "no" to technology for just a day. Are you starting to shake and get the chills just thinking about it?
Is what you are so stressed out about (and overscheduled with) really worth it? Is what you are doing really contributing to your well-being? The activities that you choose to be involved in -- are they helping you work toward your life goals? Do you even know what your life goals are anymore? It's time to just stop and regroup, without the distraction of flashing lights, ringtones and beeps. With just silence.
Having time to just be allows you that space to find the answers to these questions -- and more. And maybe that is the scariest part of all. You may find answers that you knew were there but you kept putting off by staying busy.
These are all good realizations and answers to our questions. We just need to be quiet and be so we can hear them.