The president’s word usage most resembles a newspaper passing through a chipper shredder. Or you could say it’s like America is a cat trying frantically to catch the laser dot that is the point Trump is making at any particular time.
For this week’s HuffPost Comedy hashtag game, we wanted to know some of #TrumpsWritingRules. Here are some of the very best.
Just mash your face into the keyboard until something racist happens.#TrumpsWritingRules
— Corey Miller (@StopEatingBees) June 27, 2017
anything more than 140 characters and I lose interest #TrumpsWritingRules @HuffPostComedy
— View from my Office (@viewfrommyoffic) June 27, 2017
"Autocorrect is for loosers."#TrumpsWritingRules @HuffPostComedy pic.twitter.com/SLi5imMCMc
— CK (@charley_ck14) June 27, 2017
First, get a tiny, tiny keyboard. #TrumpsWritingRules
— Orangina Bo Beena (@LaNaranjaMala) June 27, 2017
1. Do a line
— Johnny Taylor, Jr. (@hipsterocracy) June 27, 2017
2. Blame Obama
3. Blame Crooked Hillary
4. Mention Fake News
5. End by praising myself #TrumpsWritingRules
IF IT IS IN ALL CAPS YOU CAN BE SURE IT IS TRUE#TrumpsWritingRules
— Jeff Dwoskin (@bigmacher) June 27, 2017
Always speak in third person. Brandon agrees. #TrumpsWritingRules
— Brandon Cloud (@theclobra) June 27, 2017
All executive orders are to be written using the Strunk & AltRight style manual #TrumpsWritingRules @HuffPostComedy
— Richard Jeter (@MilesToGo13) June 27, 2017
Lie before "e" except after... nothing. Always lie.#TrumpsWritingRules
— Randi Mayem Singer (@rmayemsinger) June 27, 2017
Whenever in doubt about #TrumpsWritingRules just use this little guy: @HuffPostComedy pic.twitter.com/vQED6xpzQC
— MJ Gardner (@MJGWrites) June 27, 2017
Don't write a first draft.
— Jared Shroyer (@jaredshroyer) June 27, 2017
Don't write a second draft.
Avoid the draft at all cost.#TrumpsWritingRules
You can learn the secret to writing good at Trump University. PERIOD. #TrumpsWritingRules pic.twitter.com/tsAbI6ddvh
— Portmanteau Jones (@SadlyCatless) June 27, 2017
eat a bunch of taco bowl salads and turn on voice recognition, hold the phone near his flabby ass and rip word farts#TrumpsWritingRules pic.twitter.com/8zvJ3fUfdx
— Eric Schmeric (@HepatitisAtoZ) June 27, 2017
Write about something you're passionate about. Like being an asshole.#TrumpsWritingRules
— Corey Miller (@StopEatingBees) June 27, 2017
Grammar by the pussy #TrumpsWritingRules
— craig onetweetwonder (@craigflynn1) June 27, 2017
"I" always comes before "you," remember that folks. #TrumpsWritingRules
— Kirk (@WorkWithKirk) June 27, 2017
Fake it #TrumpsWritingRules pic.twitter.com/df37qCiso3
— Michael (@quickbear) June 27, 2017
#TrumpsWritingRules @HuffPostComedy
— Paul Lander (@paul_lander) June 27, 2017
Copy off smartest kid in class pic.twitter.com/FxNXAn9Ooa