March certainly came storming in like a lion, at least where weird news is concerned.
The plight of former Miss Delaware Teen USA Melissa King continued to arouse interest.
King resigned her crown last week after she was accused of making a porn video, but said the allegations were false.
However, this week, the production company who issued the first sex scene released a video of what appears to be the pageant winner reading a legal release on camera, where she identifies herself as "Melissa King."
So far, the bids for the faux lady's flower have surpassed $105,000, but that includes a night in the presidential suite of a Sao Paulo motel, a candlelit dinner with French champagne and an aromatic bath with rose petals. Oh, and lingerie for the sex doll.
Spending cold, hard cash like that on a sex doll might seem dumb, but it's not as stupid as the actions of a woman in Denver who came in possession of a stolen driver's license belonging to Applebee's waitress Brianna Priddy and tried to use it to purchase alcohol ... from Applebee's waitress Brianna Priddy.
That isn't the only weird thing that happened involving alcohol this week.
James White, a student at the University of York in England, was officially banned from owning a pet for eight years after he drunkenly fried up his roommate's hamster.
White told the Court that he could not remember the details of the incident.
"What happened that night is still shrouded in mystery," he said.
With any luck, White learns his lesson, but a high school student in Pittsburgh claims she learned a different kind of lesson from computer technology instructor Michael White (no relation).
The student alleged that White not only convinced her to ditch school and go to his home for sex, but claimed he forced her to give lap dances to her male classmates.
This week, Cayden Bibeau had a memorable party for his second birthday that anyone would want to forget.
The celebration was canceled after his family found a knife left in the cake by an employee at a Walmart in Lewistown, Maine, where he bought it.
Amazingly, that was more appetizing than the dish served up by Marc Smith to his son: freshly-killed squirrel soup.
The son added his own special sauce: vomit, but Smith insisted he eat the whole concoction -- barf and all -- and allegedly beat the child when the kid blanched.
As a result, Smith was charged withchild abuse.
Robert Schiavelli was called into court for a frankly laughable reason: laughing too loudly in his own home.
The 42-year-old resident of Rockville Centre, N.Y. suffers from seizures and other neurological problems, and claims he as a defense mechanism against the taunts of his neighbor, Daniel O’Hanian, who allegedly called him names like "retard."
The neighbor filed a claim against Schiavelli and, as laughable as it sounds, the judge declined to throw out the complaints. That means Schiavelli, who lives with his mother, could face $500 in fines or 30 days in jail.
Marcus Boykin, who as "The Creature" appears on the AMC TV series "Freakshow," shocks people with his incredible amount of piercings and tattoos, exposed a different side this week when he revealed that his five-year-old daughter is scared by his outrageous appearance.
People in Tehran, Iran, were scared by something even more outrageous: Giant rats that are so big they have to be attacked by snipers as mere mousetraps are too small.
Although some claim radiation is why the rats are so big, rat experts told The Huffington Post that there are several species of rats that can grow to large sizes if left unchecked.
As LSU rat expert Dr. David Baker put it: "During the Middle Ages, black rats in Europe reportedly grew large enough -- and children were small enough -- to carry off babies. Those had to have been some big rats."
We couldn't have said it better ourselves.
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