Larry David, Secretary of...Humor?

Like most of us yesterday morning, I held my breath as I watched Barack Obama's Cavalcade of Stars take their place on stage with him and make history.

I held my breath, I realized later, purely out of habit, since this is what I have been doing for roughly the past 8 years, every time anything remotely presidential was put forth on television.

Well, let us hope that "The horror, the horror!" as Kurtz put it in Heart of Darkness, has only 45+ days to go. Then we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief, powerful enough to begin to blow away the cheesy stench of America's rotten reputation -- and unfathomable deeds -- committed around the world in the name of patriotism and freedom.

Just one thing, though? What on earth will we do for laughs?

Sure, Robert Gates sounds more than a little bit like Truman Capote, but even Truman was nothing to laugh at.

Nero may or may not have fiddled while Rome burned but Condoleezza Rice has definitely played piano for the Queen of England. Smell smoke, anyone? Not funny.

Will we ever laugh again?

There is just no way that the eloquent and erudite, brilliant Barack will assault our ears with Quayle-isms such as how we must put "food on our families". He will, in all likelihood, never encourage or inspire anyone to rename the croissant the Chicago Crescent Roll just because France doesn't vote with him to kill people and destroy a culture because his father was a chilly parent or he thinks the whole globe is just one huge OK Corral.

Will Barack think the Prado in Madrid is where people shop for designer handbags and shoes? I think not.

And even though I have not stopped pinching myself since November 4th at roughly 11:00 PM EST, I have wondered, more and more over recent days, what on earth all of us are going to do for humor from now on.

Will Michael Moore start going to the gym every day and work on his tan?

Will Jon Stewart and Bill Maher become The Sunshine Boys? Will Stephen Colbert join them for a brisk weekly game of mahjhong around the pool at the Fontainebleau, in Miami? Oh, say it aint so, Joe!

As I see it, there is only one reasonable reaction to the current state of affairs, the perilous risk of edgy comic drought. Barack Obama must go back on television as soon as he can to fill the one appalling gap in his shining galaxy. He must appoint Larry David Secretary of Humor. There was never a better time and there is certainly not a more appropriate person.

Of course, Mr. David will (perhaps respectfully) decline, but that just makes him our Larry. The truth is, he already has a job. He must, after all, go back to the business of counting the stolen shrimp in his Chinese take-out, beating the batteries out of his smoke detector, whistling Wagner, placating Jeff, disgusting Susie and skyrocketing the blood pressure of Richard Lewis. We cannot begrudge him this.

In fact, word has it that Curb Your Enthusiasm is going to be shooting its next season soon. And with brains and class, compassion and global competency ready to move into the White House, with the world in tatters and our economy in the toilet, all I can say to LD is: "Please, don't be a schmohawk. Work hard. Work fast. Edit quickly." I beg you.

Laughter has never been more precious.

Comments

[RepugsOut08]

I love this Idea, Erica!
I tried to get into the spirit of this post by imagining two of Larry's "Curb" scenarios playing out in the new Obama administration.
Unfortunately, the Huffpost monitors must not be familiar with Larry's show, because they found my post objectionable and wouldn't allow it.
I'll try tippy-toeing on eggshells, and maybe I'll get it by this time.
I think the episode about Larry's manager's allergy to the dog Larry gave the managers little girl, could apply to the puppy situation in the Obama family. Imagine Barack having a rare allergy to a hypoallergenic dog his girls have fallen in love with, and Larry trying to "fix" the situation.
I'm sure Larry would love to get back in with the Crazy-Eyes Killah character, by inviting him to sing one of his less than appropriate rap songs at the inauguration.
There. I don't really know what was so offensive about my first post, but, hopefully, I've managed to get into the spirit of your post without doing whatever it is that upsets these monitors. I'm actually relating to Larry right now. :)

[OtayPanky]

I say he should be appointed Secretary of Nothing.

[queotic]

Excellent piece.

[progpro1]

Larry David is a comic genius, as well as a genius comic. If you don't "get" Larry, you don't know how fluid and arbitrary our social conventions are. His character in Curb is stuck in a revolving door, if he tells the truth, he gets nailed for it, if he lies - he gets nailed for that too. I too cannot wait for the next season of Curb. I laugh so hard it hurts.

[HopeARP]

Once again, you got it right, Erica. Like all of Obama's choices, Larry is super-qualified for the job.

[Alaskan4alaska]

I really tried to like Larry David's humor, but it was just too much New York angst for me. I guess I'm more of a Dave Barry short of guy.

[GeeBee]

Ahem. News for you people. Not everyone finds Larry David funny. In fact some people, me included, can't understand what all the fuss is about. I have no trouble at all curbing my enthusiasm for his dreary show.

[rzzza]

thats not really news, im sure we're all well aware that humor is subjective. although I'm about to commit a logical fallacy here I'm going to go ahead and do it anyway:

six seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm, going on a seventh, says an awful lot about how many people do find larry david funny.

HBO has canceled equally funny shows after just one season before, like Lucky Louie. poor louis c.k....wasnt all that lucky after all. Larry David should consider bringing Louis on for a cameo on his show, toss the poor bloke some work. I mean, a bone, toss him a bone.

[RepugsOut08]

That's a shame. You don't know what you're missing.

[saami]

You should be funny to be the secretary of humor. Larry David is not funny.

[rzzza]

who do you think is funny?

probably larry the cable guy or jeff dunham or dane cook or some other overrated mediocre comedian.

or in the case of larry the cable guy, way below mediocre.

[RepugsOut08]

I think Joe the plumber is hilarious! ;)

[rzzza]

too bad george carlin is dead (boy thats the understatement of the century), he would have made a good choice for secretary of the absurd

[Steven Shehori - Huffpost Blogger]

Fingers crossed this happens. It's high time Mr. David landed himself a Cabinet position.

[warrencassell]

So nuuu, aren't you funny enought to apply. It is a sin to be falsely modest.

Cheers,

Warren

[rzzza]

good choice for secretary of humor. the new season of curb your enthusiasm can't arrive soon enough. it seems I've been waiting for ages already.

with maher on hiatus, i gotta get my laughs from some place.

[panurse]

I love Larry- nobody is funnier & we especially need him now