Note: this piece was co-authored by Jack Anderson and Erica Jagger.
I became acquainted with fellow HuffPost blogger Jack Anderson when I happened upon his phenomenal piece "10 Reasons Why Men Should Date Women In Their 50s" and asked him if I could re-post it on my blog. Living on opposite coasts, we got to know each other via Facebook, emails, Skype, and phone calls and discovered both of us missed the memo that people begin to wither on the vine at 50.
We believe it's quite the opposite. With kids in various stages of launching (I have two teenagers while Jack's oldest is graduating from Cal Berkeley this week, and his younger son is a freshman in college) -- along with a healthy dose of wisdom acquired after years of unpacking our baggage -- middle age, we realized in our chats, actually unlocks a psychological and sexual renaissance. So we decided to share with you our revelation -- that the new Sexual Revolution begins at 50. Here's why:
#1 "Been there, done that, and that's why we should try anything and everything, now, on our sexual bucket list."
Jack: "If not now, when?" That's the perennial question many couples ask themselves as they enter their fifth decade of life. This becomes an even truer statement after going through the extreme emotional roller coaster ride of a separation and divorce. After that world of crazy, how scary can experimental be? Exactly. Let it ride.
Erica: Do you really want to reach the end of your life regretting that you didn't take that trip to the dungeon, or whatever else your groin desired? As long it's safe, fun, and yes, sometimes crazy -- and of course consensual -- then, seize the day.
#2 "I'm hornier now than I've ever been in my life."
Jack: Most guys, whom I know anyway, claim they aren't slowing down, a bit, in the bedroom. If anything, they want more. And if they can't get it up, despite their inner desire drive, there's plenty of Viagra to pass around to all those in need. A survey conducted by BJU International, as reported in Science Daily, found that men in their 50s are more satisfied in their sex lives than men in their 30s and 40s. Asked to rate their sex satisfaction on a scale of 0-4, men in their 50s rated their sexual satisfaction at 2.77, versus fellas in their 30s at 2.55 and those in their forties at 2.72.
Erica: Contrary to conventional misguided wisdom, not all menopausal women have permanently misplaced their libidos. A 2012 study in The American Journal of Medicine found that sexual satisfaction actually increased as women aged, with those over 80 being as orgasmic as their younger counterparts.
#3 "I'm NOT tired."
Jack: Most folks in their 50s have settled into their careers, and a fortunate few have stepped off the career platform thanks to early retirement. Their kids are grown, so the late night feedings, earaches, and projectile vomiting are ancient memories. There's a lot more time then, to explore, on a sexual anthropological level, the ultimate quest of "the birds and the bees."
Erica: The last thing I wanted when I had a child latched on to my breast was my husband reaching for the other one. Now, post-divorce and with my job as personal assistant to my children nearing its end, I have more time to think about sex, more energy to act on it, and more opportunities to discover what turns me on.
#4 "I don't have Tommy this weekend; he's in college."
Jack: Tommy isn't home, at all, on any given night of the week, other than Christmas or summer vacation. That leaves every room in the house open for a new and exciting nightly adventure with your partner. Let the games begin!
Erica: Now that you don't have to worry about Tommy walking in on you, you're free to explore your sexuality as often and as vocally as you'd like.
#5 "I'd love to be your librarian, school girl, mermaid, stripper tonight."
Jack: Role-play never gets old. She could be Cleopatra. She could be a cop. She could be a spy. She could be a dominatrix. She could be Wonder Woman. She could be Cat Woman. She could be a teacher. And that's just in the first seven days.
Erica: Add some spanking, blindfolds, and bondage to the mix and you've got the makings of a hot Master-Sub scene. By 50, a man has learned the difference between dominating a woman in bed and trying to control her life. And he's mastered the former.
#6 "I don't get much sleep, for a damn good reason."
Jack: As folks get older, it gets harder and harder for them to fall asleep. So what do they do? Some read; others watch TV. And then there are those special ones who can't sleep for a damn good reason, and there is nothing unhealthy about that as they howl at the moon.
Erica: When men are young, they want to get a woman off to make themselves feel good. But once they've reached midlife, they want to make their partners feel good. And what better way to fall asleep than after an earth-moving orgasm?
#7 "I can't get pregnant."
Jack: If you've had kids already, the greatest thing of all about being with a woman, post menopause, is she can't get pregnant. Period. Oh, yeah, that's gone too. So there is no down time. That means, all things being equal, every night is a go night for a couple at this age. How hot is that?
Erica: Once women stop worrying about getting pregnant -- or not getting pregnant -- they start enjoying sex purely for the sake of sex, often for the first time.
#8 "He really knows his way around downtown."
Jack: As a man ages, he turns his focus from being all about him to being all about her. There's nothing that gives him greater pleasure than to please her first, and that comes with his mad skills navigating downtown.
Erica: He's not the only one who knows his way down below. By the time a woman turns 50, she's had decades to turn giving head into an art form.
#9 "Toys and Piercings."
Jack: It's easier than ever for couples to get their hands on toys, thanks to the power of the Internet and a valid credit card. The sky's the limit when it comes to electrical sexual adventures. Turn it up!
Erica: Why stop at toys? Why not try some body ornamentation? Besides looking sexy, some piercings actually enhance sexual pleasure for you and your partner. And you're never too old for that.
#10 "Leave the bathroom door unlocked, and I'll knock three times."
Jack: The unisex bathroom is back at fancy restaurants, which is incredibly exciting for couples in their 50s who want to sneak a lil sumthin' sumthin' before dessert. Just make sure that you knock on the right door, with the agreed-upon knock sequence, before entering to make sure that you're partner is inside. And make sure, when you're finished, that you both wash your hands thoroughly at the communal sink so you can look at each other's Cheshire grins.
Erica: Or maybe we should just leave the door unlocked. I love the idea of getting caught.
Photos of Erica Jagger by Nick Holmes.
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