More Light, More Light

We never celebrated Christmas during my childhood. We celebrated the Winter Solstice. As pagan Jews, we wanted the light to return to illuminate the world. On the darkest day of the year, we schlepped our tree from Columbus Ave to 44 West 77th Street and because we didn't crown it with a star, we never thought of it as Christian. We decorated it with an assortment of angels, colored spheres, tinsel and goodies. We assembled presents underneath the tree.

As my mother said, we were celebrating the return of light. Although I didn't yet know about Diwali or Kwanzaa, I did understand that all over the Northern Hemisphere people had developed celebrations to encourage light. Chanukah, Christmas, what did it matter? We stoked the Yule Log fire and blessed the unity of humanity.

We always had an enormous party. My mother presided over an open house with cases of champagne, roast beeves, turkeys, hams, yams, salads and platters of French cheeses. The buche de noel was pagan as well--as were the potato latkes, rugelach and petites fours. My father played the piano and favored Rogers and Hart and Cole Porter. Sexy women leaned over him falling out of their dresses and singing out of tune. But nobody cared as long as the champagne flowed.

This was a time of overindulgence. People got drunk and didn't run to "meetings." Women wore provocative clothes and jiggled. Men kissed you under the mistletoe and grabbed your ass behind the bar.

How sober we are today--at least in comparison. American Christmases used to be intemperate. The Christmas party was the subject of risqué cartoons in the New Yorker. This was appropriately pagan. The pagans knew that people had to let loose from time to time in order to hold it in the rest of the year.

Are we smarter for all our sobriety? Who knows? Certainly, excess of alcohol destroys lives. But where are the stolen kisses, the bluesy music and the feeling of anything goes (as Cole Porter wrote)? Eventually someone did the Charleston and slid along the waxed parquet at my parents' parties. Sooner or later, someone threw up in their bathroom. By sundown, the adults staggered home with their kids in tow. Christmas had nothing to do with Christ and Chanukah nothing to do with the Macabees.

"Let there be light!" was the only message. And we still need light to come out of the darkness. We need it more than ever in the coming year.

Read more Holiday Season commentary from HuffPost bloggers

Comments

[Kelley Bell-Wenzlaff - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you for a lovely post Ericka. You are a talented writer.

I enjoyed meeting you at the HuffPo event at the 92nd Street Y. Several of your observations really got me thinking. What a great group to spend an evening with in the heart of Manhattan.

[Bitsko]

You said a mouthful, honey.

[bacaja]

"But where are the stolen kisses, the bluesy music and the feeling of anything goes ."

We got old, and long before that we got roped into a humdrum workaday existence.
We accumulated a myriad of junk and gave away the days of our precious lives to get it.
We had those glorious moments, magic times in a far away forgotten time and place.
And now it's just a swirl of leaves, a column of dust and an echo of laughter in the wind.

[Billie]

The art of conversation is in a sad state as well. Or maybe it was just the Christmas Eve gathering I attended where most of the adults sipped diet cokes out of wine glasses and talked about what ingredients were in each dish on the buffet table, the state of the stock market, more food talk, more money fear talk, what cute things the kids have said in the last year, and more talk of food. Unfunny stories were told and everyone fake laughed politely. Christmas carols played softly in the background and there was a stiff, heavy vibe. Finally, a bunch of us escaped to a nearby hotel bar and tossed down a few. Things loosened up. What a relief!

[HoraceOvidson]

A certain messiness at the birth of a child may be a good thing.

[dahpunkster]

I was at this party the other day. Half of us were trying to dancing ,drink and have fun , and the other half of the room was chiding us, for being so raucus and fancy free in such a time as this in our world. (rolls eyes).
My poor best friend Vi, was stuck in the middle, her boyfriend was on the blah side of the room, and me and 2 of our best friends were on the other side of room.
Personally , I think other side was jealous of us, because they were too smart to figure out how to have fun.
Vi finally saw the light and came on saw on the fun side of the room, for a little while . She said they were discussing the stock market, and that having a hangnail was more fun then being over there.
Hooah! Can't wait till New years

[Canukistani]

Ahh, the Ghost of Christmas Past. The days before political correctness and being oh so careful not to offend anyone's sensibilities are gone forever. The free-flowing parties where too many of us did something we'd regret and be embarrassed about in the cold light of the next day are done and finished. In our eagerness to be polite and correct and properly god-fearing we have given up the seductions and the impropriety and the excesses of our youth. We've drained the life out of life and this is what we're left with.

[larry278]

Though Eartha Kitt just died & the world is broke, We, the delightfully decadent, will continue to celebrate Yule with panache. Yule isn't for the less than sensual. The RC's missed out on some delightful seductions on Xmas Eve, if they left the party early & went to midnight mass & came back to the party. Make no mistake tolerant but depraved guests would still seduce a RC who returned to the party. The USA is a tolerant land. But seconds & on up aren't as much fun as one's first seduction of the night. If you didn't have kids, you could sleep it off & go back to partying every day till New Years day afternoon. Then it was to the hospital for rest & iv's to recover for 2 weeks. It wasn't called detox or recovery then. Your doctor had a more creative name for it which wasn't recognized as a pejorative.

[pfc1369]

Didn't yet hear about Kwanzaa when you were a kid was 'cause when you were a kid it hadn't yet been invented.

[dogwatch]

It was the wrecks, Erica. In the old days, there was less and friendlier traffic. You could get home drunk without a wreck. Not these days. Cars are much speedier and so are the drivers. Mix this with the old celebrations and the wrecks would do us in. I miss the old celebrations, too. And, I would gladly tend your bar, anytime, if you know what I mean. Please take it as a compliment.

[dogwatch]

I make this really tasty one handed martini.

[Clairvaux]

""Let there be light!" was the only message. And we still need light to come out of the darkness. We need it more than ever in the coming year."

I'm also in favor of solar energy ...

[Silentdances]

It was really nice to see this.. and refreshing

[crevass]

Yeah, intemperate. The kissing was prevalent w/ or w/o mistletoe. The 1/2 day before Christmas was more festive than the day itself. One year a guy brought in a Santa suit to the office but chickened out. We got loose at lunch and I put on the shirt & beard and got so much tongue & incidental contact I swore I'd do it EVERY year (didn't, tho' . . . alas) Cheers!

[Jovlaan]

Happy Winter Solstice and let the parties continue through the New Year. I enjoyed your article and I too celebrate the Winter Solstice on the 21st with a holiday dinner. A good way to get the jump on those that gather on the 25th and it then leaves me free to travel to their parties. I'll have to try some of that ass grabbing, hopefully my mother and sister won't mind...

[clevelandchick]

Please don't grab your mom's ass. Same goes for sis. It's just wrong no matter how drunk you are ;)

[larry278]

To get into the mood: Listen to King Cole's "Xmas Song" &, after some drinks [Canadian Club & Schweppes Ginger Ale for me] "Merry Christmas, Baby" with you love singing "...you sure are good for me", softly & sweetly into your ear. The pitete fours are from a Russian bakery. A friend brings 24 white ones with a blue star of David for your family. After 2 or 3 hours, somebody plays "One Scotch, One Bourbon, One Beer". 3 or 4 latkes fresh from the frying pan with sour cream add to the delight.
A few wet kisses are good to give & get.