Erica Jong

Erica Jong

Posted: April 29, 2008 12:53 PM

Natural Nudists Unite -- And Apologize!

digg Share this on Facebook Huffpost - stumble reddit del.ico.us RSS


As a natural nudist, who comes from a family of natural nudists, the Miley Cyrus flap astounds me. Nothing is flapping on Miley. She's draped in a sheet. Besides, when is a nude body a lewd body? Anyway, the kid's not even half naked. What is this nonsense?

Well, it's an occasion for another apology. We need an apolo-blog section on HuffPuff. Then there will be one central clearing house for apologies. We can all apologize for things we didn't do, things we didn't say and things we never even thought.

I will issue a general apology and hope to have it all covered for the rest of my life. I will apologize for the Democratic Party, for the IRS, for Bill Clinton's sex addiction and Barack Obama's pastor. I will apologize for the idiocy of network TV, for Eliot Spitzer's penchant for prostitutes and for Chris Matthews' tirades. I will apologize for chemical warfare in World War I and for the Nazis' anti-Semitism in the 1940s and all the children it wiped off the face of the earth. I can certainly apologize for things that happened before I was born, can't I?

While I'm at it, I will apologize for all my books, for the time I posed for People mag zipping up my jeans, for my various divorces -- and those of all my friends. As long as you apologize, you can do anything in our nation. You can test hormones on women, intern the Japanese Americans, exterminate the indigenous peoples, then give their few remaining descendants gambling casinos. You can lynch Black people, keep Jews out of certain clubs and neighborhoods and jobs and starve the working poor. You can put arsenic in kids' drinking water. Just remember to apologize.

You get the idea. If Miley had any spunk, she certainly would take her clothes off and stay naked 'till we got out of Iraq. That would be better for her fans that all these hypocritical apologies. Stop feeling embarrassed for your non-nakedness kiddo. Start feeling embarrassed for your country!


 
Comments
58
Pending Comments
0
iPhone App Promo

Want to reply to a comment? Hint: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to

View Comments:
Page: 1 2 3 Next › Last » (3 pages total)
- MikeDu I'm a Fan of MikeDu 142 fans permalink
photo

You're right on that point.
We're becoming a' culture of apology'. This is a natural consequence of the longstanding RNC tactic of 'faux outrage'. They make believe they're offended for craven political gain and we're forced to make believe we're apologizing in order to limit the political damage. Who was that legislator who was compelled to 'apologize' to George Bush last year over a perfectly true statement he made about war casualties? This is what its about. If you can force someone to apologize its almost as good as forcing them onto their knees.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:13 PM on 05/01/2008
- mbaty I'm a Fan of mbaty 19 fans permalink

Isn't this just another trick by the MSM to distract us from the Military Analysts scandal...you know, where high-ups were paid by the pentagon to parrot party lines? It's a distraction...like Janet's boob. So many claim to be so puritanica­l...obviou­sly it's a ruse; that girl is showing her shoulder, and Janet's boob was covered in a star thing. Make lots of noise over here...so no one's looking over there at the secret torture prisons. Meanwhile porn is a billion dollar industry with no mainstream advertising. We are not prudes. Let's not become pawns.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:14 AM on 05/01/2008

I'm sorry I'm worth a billion dollars and Im sorry we created this whole 'story' to make Vanity Fair and myself even richer.

-Miley Cyrus

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:39 PM on 04/30/2008

Erica, Erica, Erica--I would have to call you "too brave" if only what we please to call "readers" knew the difference between a thesis and the next worry bead on their sociological rosaries. While you and I may not understand that nudity equals pornography, you may rest assured that we are in minority so small that any suspicion arising in the minds of the majority is self-validating. Pornography is not in the eye of the beholder, but in the mind of the beholder of the beholder. This allows us to get from implied undress to the same as semi-nude, which is the same (of course) as nude and nude (of course) is sexual, which is therefore the same as prurient, and therefore the same as pornography, and (in this case) the same as child pornography. You'd understand this if you just weren't too "deviant" to see that female's "bits" scare decent folk and should be confined to the necessity of selling someone something.

Really, you'd know these things if you'd peer through the combination microscope and kaleidoscope called the Internet. It mutitplies all those scary things and makes them seem ever so close.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:17 AM on 04/30/2008

Making light of the Holocaust, that's nice.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:24 AM on 04/30/2008
- mamacat I'm a Fan of mamacat 130 fans permalink

I am familiar with the statues in Oslo, and I am familiar with nudity, and, thanks to the tabloids and my TV, I am also familiar with the sexual exploitation of children.

I resent when a young person is exploited sexually for economic reasons. Unlike the statues in Norway, the photo-shoot of Miss Cyrus was designed specifically to titilate men by showing the skin of a famous and beautiful 15 year old, and in so doing to increase profits for someone.

The problem with the Cyrus photos is that they are sexually suggestive, that she is very much a minor, that her parents and the magazine should know better, and that the whole thing seems to have been done for money. The young woman involved should not be condemned, she is too young to understand sexual exploitation, and is too young to give her consent. Her parents probably saw the whole thing from a different viewpoint, although they overlooked the obvious. The magazine certainly is guilty of extremely bad judgment.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:06 AM on 04/30/2008
- davy I'm a Fan of davy 2 fans permalink

If America crawled any further up it's own . . .

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 03:45 AM on 04/30/2008
- JimR I'm a Fan of JimR 36 fans permalink

Ain't that the truth!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:14 AM on 04/30/2008
- newshawk14 I'm a Fan of newshawk14 8 fans permalink

For the second time in a week or so, I've really liked your article. I would recommend that everyone
look into the sculptures Of Gustav Vigeland at Oslo's Frogner Park. A number of years ago, a friend
(who I think sensed I was ready for it) invited me to participate in a massage therapy class, that he
was teaching. All the participants were nude, and I would say that virtually everyone, focused their
minds on the massage and not sexual reactions. I consider it one of the more valuable experiences
of my life, and helped to clean out a little of the crap that I had been carrying.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:52 AM on 04/30/2008
- LarryMcD I'm a Fan of LarryMcD 2 fans permalink

Today, Senator Clinton stood next to Governor Easley, smiling broadly, while he described her as making "Rocky Balboa looking like a pansy."

As a gay man in his 60s, I can't help wondering what you'd feel like if she'd kept smiling that way while he said she'd make "Rocky Balboa look like a pussy"?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:49 AM on 04/30/2008
- LordMoon I'm a Fan of LordMoon 13 fans permalink

Well, what I'd like to know Erica is why you have to make everything into a joke?

What happened here shows a serious lack of judgement on the part of the Adults who are supposed to be watching out for this childs care and safety, and as such it just isn't funny.

In my opinion it borders on Child porn, and should be treated as such. As mentioned previously sexualizing a 15 year old girl is against the law.

I know that you are sorry about lots of things, that don't really have a bearing on this case anyway.

Instead of apologizing for things you don't understand, try getting a clue.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:09 AM on 04/30/2008
- darthmaul I'm a Fan of darthmaul 17 fans permalink

Judgment-Smugement. These people, including Miley Cyrus made a business decision that this was a profitable move.

I had to laugh when Miley said (paraphrasing here) "I had to do the photo shoot with the sheet, nobody says no to Annie!"

I'm forced to ask who "gives a sheet" about this photo shoot. That's a joke! Great post Erica!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:27 AM on 04/30/2008
photo

Boy if you consider this child porn, you had better stay away from the beaches this summer. As I've said before, I've seen girls with bikini's that the entire thing wouldn't make a good handkerchief.

There was NOTHING wrong with this photo shoot. Personally I didn't think it was that good as it kind of makes her look like she belongs in 'THE NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD". But otherwise, it's a nice photo of a young woman.

In fact Miley and her father (who reallllly needs to get a decent hair style) should have told everyone to get over it, grow the hell up and get on with the more serious issues facing us these days.

A bare back???

People you need to get a grip.

And Lordy.....here's a quarter....go buy yourself a clue..

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:10 AM on 04/30/2008
photo

Funny how the worshipers of the 3 great religions find the human body to be sinful, yet find violence to be virtuous. Sexuality is a greater sin than killing. Go figure????

GWW

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:32 PM on 04/29/2008
- JohnIII I'm a Fan of JohnIII 8 fans permalink

What other kind of nudist is there?

Unnatural?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:40 PM on 04/29/2008
photo

Erica, this is one of the wonderful things you have written here. It inspires my inner curmudgeon to shout out, "Not me, I don't apologize for anything. You can all go screw yourselves!" But then somebody would probably come along and make me apologize for saying that.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 10:32 PM on 04/29/2008
- aceholiday I'm a Fan of aceholiday 4 fans permalink

applause

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:46 PM on 04/29/2008
- billydog I'm a Fan of billydog 5 fans permalink

It's that picture with her father that was not cool. That picture exuded heavy breathing sex---but it's his daughter for Christs sakes and heavy breathing sex is inappropriate and indecent. That scene is two lovers sprawled provocatively with each other. If you did not know they were father and daughter your reaction would be hubba-hubba.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:42 PM on 04/29/2008
Page: 1 2 3 Next › Last » (3 pages total)
Comments are closed for this entry

 You must be logged in to comment. Log in  or connect with 

Connect