Seeing Sexism
It's not easy to see sexism. It's such a part of our lives it seems invisible. It's in us and outside us. We want not to believe in it---until something---like men making fun of Hillary Clinton, like women making fun of Hillary Clinton---stirs it up. And then something inside our heads shouts: "THERE IT IS AGAIN! I thought--I truly hoped we were past this."
The truth is, we want sexism to be passé. We don't want to keep fighting it. It's so uncool to fight it. We sound so shrill, so whining, so strident, so piercing, so shrewish, so female. For these are all coded adjectives for women you hate. We hate them ourselves. We don't want to be shrill, shrewish, strident, whining, piercing. We want to be cool. We want to hold our own, we want not to waver, not to be high-pitched, not to betray our femaleness, our weakness. And yet our voices are higher than men's and we are less listened to in the agora. We are always tokens.
On most charitable boards I sit, on every prize committee I deliberate, on most writers' panels, I am a token. One woman and seven men, two women and fourteen men, three women and twenty-one men. I hate being a token. I wish it were otherwise. Unlike those nasty women of yesteryear--Clare Boothe Luce, Ilka Chase--the women who inspired The Women--I have no stake in being queen bee. I want a 50--50 world. But the world is not that way. So tedious, old-time feminism must rear its shrieking Medusa head again.
The Greeks got it. Medusa's snaky head, the sex-strike in Lysistrata, Medea's fury in Greek myth and tragedy.
The truth is we have been trying to assert women's rights (and wrongs) for a long time. Too, too long, in fact. No wonder everyone is turned off. From Mary Wollstonecraft to Susan B. Anthony to Eleanor Roosevelt to Germaine Greer to Gloria Steinem is at least two and a half centuries. And before that, Mary Magdalene was smeared by the damned disciples, Cleopatra by Shakespeare, Hatshepsut by all those Egyptian dudes and doubtless even the Sumerian earth goddess. Too fat, too shrill, too monomaniacal, say the cool men. And the cool women echo it.
What? Life begins in the womb? Women are the life force? How unfair! Didn't Samuel Johnson--that old bore, say: "Nature has given women so much power that the law wisely gives her little" The Greek tragedians smeared a lot of women too, but they were shrewder observers of life than our present day guy writers. At least they had the myths to set them straight. So they knew women were fierce from being raped so often and they knew the rapists (usually men) deserved everything they got.
So now we have the cool dudes saying Hillary is dead, the fall of the house of Clinton is here, baby-boomers are so over, don't trust those wrinklies (British for your parents' generation), youth is roaring again, hope is the watchword, Obama has a feminist wife and two cute little girls, he'll fight for us. And the cool chicks echo it: Hillary is over, we have our rights, we have the pill, we have the patch, we have the IUD, we have the vote, we have nannies for our kids, so what about the retrenchment on Roe, so what about the Right to Lifers, so what about my mother's battles? Over and done. Passe. Youth has come in the person of Barack. Male? Not really. Think of his wife. Two for the price of one--like Billary in 1992. But will Ms. Obama be the prez? Not really. Power behind the throne. Same old, same old. We seem to have forgotten that we did this all before.
But it's different this time, say the women of my daughter's generation. We've won the battle. We don't need the White House. Say what? We don't need it? We're past it? We have all heard that before, too. It's an old, old story. Hillary is the establishment? Hillary stole the vote in New Hampshire? Hillary is passé. Hillary is too close to Bill. Hillary is not close enough to Bill. Hillary is calculating. Hillary is cold. Hillary cried. (Actually, she didn't cry -- as Jon Stewart and I pointed out). She just looked human. She showed a teeny bit of vulnerability. UNFAIR! They scream. FEMININE WILES! They scream. The heart of being a woman is to be always in the wrong.
Let's be honest here. We don't know how a female President would act. But we could look around. I know America is a provincial country, but we could look at Germany, Ireland, England, Pakistan, India, Argentina, and Finland--to name a few. We could ask why the USA, out of all the so-called "civilized" countries, is so damned afraid of a woman leader.
We could look at the invisible sexism--as Gloria Steinem has been asking us to do for nearly half a century. We could acknowledge that a multiracial male president with a fierce feminist wife would be great for America, but maybe we should break the invisible gender barrier first. Yes, blacks have been hideously oppressed, but so have women--and black women know this better than white women do. We have been tokens for so long that most of us just take it for granted. The flaying of Hillary Clinton shows us we can take nothing for granted. We need to break that tough, annealed, glass ceiling with the barbed wire over it. And we need to break it now.
If this is the politics of gender, so be it. We need a politics of gender in this country. Obama is a good man who will only get better. Youth is on his side. Perhaps Hillary will appoint him to the Supreme Court where he can counter that embarrassing Clarence Thomas. Perhaps he will be President in 2016 or perhaps, even better, Michelle Obama will be. They have nothing but time.
Hillary's time has come.
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So, it's not about "seeing sexism". It's about "seeing sexism everywhere." Have you looked in our million year history of instinctual behavior?
We damn a woman politician for being like a man politician: calculating, ruthless, opportunistic, duplicitous. Sort of hypocritical, I think.
I hope Hllary is the winner; Hillary has fought for it, and she deserves it if she runs a better campaign. I firmly believe this needs to happen so the mold can be broken, so we can put aside one more barrier to all of us participating in this government-at whatever level we choose.
Someone once said "a rising tide lifts all boats". How true.
Ms Jong,
It truly would be a joyous day to witness a woman taking the oath for the office of the presidency. I'm just not convinced that Hillary Clinton should be that first woman. As you know, being the first holds a certain responsibility. How one handles that responsibility will be the gauge in which others are measured. And while breaking the glass ceiling is certainly admirable, how one goes about breaking it does matter.
I see women leaders around the world, and so often they are beloved by their constituency. Hillary will never have that, and that's sad. But it is what it is. At sixty years of age, Hillary still doesn't seem comfortable in her own skin. Her daily approach to politics is all too often masculine, and we only see the feminist when it serves her individual interests. I find that insulting, and disheartening that you do not.
I am a woman and I will not vote for hillary because of her voting record . . . the whole tenet of your argument in favour of hillary seems to be predicated on sexism . .visible and invisible . . . not once have you mentioned her voting record. I find your arguments plastic and disingenuous.
I am as radical a feminist as you will find anywhere, with a women's studies concentration in college and a bookshelf full of the works of Andrea Dworkin and Catharine MacKinnon and other great feminist theorists.
But I am also a peace activist who spent some time with Cindy Sheehan at Camp Casey in 2005, sleeping outdoors and protesting outside George Bush's ranch.
I don't see how I can vote for Hillary Clinton in light of her vote FOR the Iraq war resolution and the recent resolution on the Iranian guard.
I don't need to be lectured to about feminism or the patriarchy. I DO have loyalty to my sisters...how about loyalty to my sisters who have died from dehydration because women soldiers in Iraq won't drink water after 4 in the afternoon because, with the generators running, no one can hear the "latrine scream" if they are raped...how about my loyalty to the ones who have been raped...and how about my loyalty to my sisters like Cindy Sheehan who have buried their war casualty children and received in exchange a mere folded flag and thanks "on behalf of a grateful nation."
What about feminist loyalty to them?
I DESPERATELY want a woman president in my lifetime. I want a woman president who sees women's issues as the emotional and physical and spiritual crisis that they are. I've worked in women's shelters and rape crisis centers, and I am sick to death of doing triage, knee deep in the blood of my sisters. But is this woman truly the change I've been waiting for? I know a woman can't get elected without being as hawkish as the worst of the men, and that is the patriarchy's doing, but my conscience won't let me vote for a facilitator of warmaking either.
How I wish Andrea Dworkin were still alive. When she died, she was working on a scathing open letter to Hillary Clinton, which is online somewhere (can't seem to find it right now). I wonder what she would say about this election.
The same post could be written from the point of view of an African American and end with "Barack's time has come."
It seems to me that voting for someone BECAUSE she is a woman is as sexist as voting against her because she is a woman.
Can we please talk policy and get away from the gender, race distractions? We're going to get plenty of that nonsense in the general.
Geeeesh. So frustrating.
The "bright, younger women" of today certainly are not "stuck in the age of feminism", in fact they HATE the word 'feminist'. They wear pornstar garb to college classes, they make out with each other at parties to display their sexual openness (it makes the guys hot)...WHAT do they do that is feminist at all?
Geez! I hope you aren't trying to say we as women should vote for a woman just because she's a women? That's the most sexist request ever asked of me.
I wish Hillary inspired me, but she doesn't and she's not my choice in the primaries, I'll vote my conscience if you don't mind? Besides everyone knows men of color get passage first and then women and occsionally children. Or atleast that's the way it has always been. There are so many battles to be fought right now I resent being asked to take on the addition burden of trying to change the pecking order of society just because of my sex.
Would you like some cheese with your whine? I keep hearing women say they don't like that Sen. Clinton was "ruffed up" during tht debates. That they don't like how she was "attacked" by the other candidates.
The problem is that Hillary is constantly making this about sexism with "I'm your girl" and "first woman" comments. Its not her surrogates its her. I've yet to hear Sen. Obama make the racial equivilent statement.
They seem to expect Hillary CLINTON to be treated as any other candidate when she is NOT!!! She's running as a restoration candidate.
I'm sorry but, We are currently dealing from the fall out of the 1st Clinton presidency. Why would we want MORE of that? Obama is a better man than me, because I would hold her up to account for all the failed Clinton policies i.e. NAFTA, CAFTA, FCC deregulation, SCHIP, school choice, banking deregulation, etc., etc., etc.
Hillary Clinton has been verbally battered so many times in the media - and by bloggers here on Huffington Post - I wonder if people were rejecting her because they couldn't stand witnessing the abuse of a woman over and over again - too close to home. 1/3 women has been physically abused in a marriage and that means many people have grown up witnessing a woman being abused. Bill Clinton for one. So, I'm glad when he defends Hillary.
I was sickened by the media after she showed some emotion and she was attacked over and over again.
I was a Joe Biden supporter and didn't think I would have any interest left for another candidate, but my passions spoke to me loud and clear. I am supporting Hillary Clinton.
Victory in NH was sweet, real, real sweet. I am so happy that women found their voice and rose up and said no - we don't have to take this abuse. Why are we allowing a qualified woman to be passed over in favor of a male candidate with absolutely no experience necessary to be President simply because people don't want a woman. This is a prejudice we cannot have the luxury of having at this moment in our history. Our nation can't afford another inexperienced President.
If Hillary Clinton doesn't get the Presidency, it will be a 20 year set back for women - there isn't another female with her skills to run in the current class of women in politics. A woman Presidency will belong to another generation of women 20 or 30 years away from now. Sad...
Clinton 08
Sexism does adversely affect too many facets in the lives of too many women today, yet let's be clear that Senator Clinton has been smart enough and hard-working enough throughout her life to overcome most, if not all, gender discrimination she faced.
From Wellesley to Yale Law School to a plum job on graduation with the House Judiciary Committee to a partnership in the most successful law firm in her state to the Board of Directors of WalMart, Senator Clinton does not seem to have been deterred by discrimination, if or when she encountered it.
That being said, it is perhaps understandable why until very recently she had not been seen as an avatar of feminism. But now, suddenly she is.
Why? It certainly seems to be an incredibly smart and effective campaign tactic designed to increase the percentage of women voters she receives in the nominating process, and her campaign management team is demonstrating their talent by employing it.
But let's also be realistic, each of the candidates in both parties has faced hostile reporters, been the subject of hostile media commentary and been criticized (or attacked) by overzealous partisans. The treatment of Senator Clinton has not been observably harsher or more lenient than that of other candidates.
Her campaign is wise to energize a segment of women voters by pointing to the times she has faced the rigorous scrutiny all presidential candidates receive and suggest the scrutiny was motivated by sexism. But, suggesting it is so doesn't make it so.
Hillary Clinton needs to find her voice again and DIVORCE Bill Clinton, then run for President on her own, again. In the meantime, she'd might make a great Senate Majority Leader.
Yes, sometimes it is hard to see in the small ways it rears it's head. Mrs. Clinton. Senator Clinton?
The rally where young men chanted "Iron My Shirt", infuriating the audience of women who knew what that was about. It may not be safe for men or women to walk the streets at night but it's not safe at anytime for women. Night after night there are stories on the new of women disappearing, "running away" and especially if they are pregnant. Why does a young girl working in Iraq have to call her father in Texas to help protect her from men. Do we always have to have a protector from men? Father,Brother, Husband?
When will we be respected?
Maybe when we are the president.
The notion that it is sexist to support a competent woman for president partly because she is a woman is a trap. When men vote en masse for other men, and eschew female candidates, they aren't being sexist. They are just voting for competence. Young people learn this early. At my daughter's high school, girls slightly outnumber boys. She was, for a couple of years, the only girl on the student Senate. There's one other now. It's always been that way. Boys and girls run for office, but boys vote for boys, and girls vote for boys. Anytime the issue of the dearth of girls is raised, the answer is the same: "it's wrong to vote for girls just because they are girls." No one notices the boys voting in a block. Male leadership is the norm. As a result, not nearly enough girls get the opportunity to be leaders. And, importantly, boys don't get used to seeing girls in that role. It is important to have half the population better represented in positions of power. A concerted effort has to be made. People are acting as if there has been no history of discrimination against women-- that we don't have a legacy to overcome. We didn't have the vote, the right to make contracts without our husbands, or the right against marital rape, among other diabilities,until the modern era. We can't get to our rightful place without affirmatively supporting women who step up to the plate to take positions of power.
If other women, young or old, don't want to do that, or think it's necessary, fine. There were women who did not think it necessary to have the vote. Whether it makes sense to vote for HRC or not,the case for the importance of unabashedly supporting female candidate has to be made. And when the world begins to change, all women will benefit.
USA "men" are so afraid of Hillary because they are scared fratboys, not men.
These same "men" allow jackasses like GWBush and DickCheney, and guys like them, to be elected over and over again.
Destructive by nature, such "men" cannot get enough of each other. It's time to dump the men and vote for women.
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