You Betcha She's Doggone Cute

Sarah Palin is a character out of Lewis Carroll. No one can translate that smile. She's the Cheshire Cat.

She says nothing and she grins triumphantly. Her smile lingers when the words have gone.

Nothing she says makes sense but the eyelashes never stop batting. Catch phrases and buzz words bounce in the air above her head. She adores the word "also." Also, she adores herself. She is so doggone cute she turns herself on.

She is the woman politician advertisers have been waiting for -- all style and no substance. Full of confidence and full of beans, the walk of feminism without the talk. Nobody can object because there's nothing to object to. Hillary Clinton and Geraldine Ferraro had ideas you could disagree with. But Sarah Palin is perky and inscrutable at once, you betcha. She talks. We listen but we have no idea what's been said.

She is the female candidate of GOP dreams. She talks, she smiles, she flirts, she never opposes. She makes mistakes but nobody seems to care. We watch her lips go up, go down, go sideways. We watch her eyes glisten behind rimless glasses. The beauty pageant promoters removed her soul so it wouldn't get in the way. How can we dismiss her or debate her? She's a bubble. She's fizz.

She is the perfection of beauty pageant womanhood. All image, no ideas. Camera-ready for hair and lipstick commercials. Her patriotism is of the Fourth of July variety. Let's eat a heck of a lot of hot dogs, pun intended.

She's pure as a sex-phone operator. You can fantasize but not touch. The bill comes later.

She reminds me of Paris Hilton -- who once tried to trademark the expression "That's hot." Will Palin trademark "You betcha"? Or "doggone"? Or "team of mavericks"? I wouldn't put it past her. Whatever happens with the "election" the endorsements will come flooding in. Maybelline will want her. And Kellogg's. And Wal-Mart. Some publisher must already have an offer on the table.

Sarah Palin has already won the Olympics of reality TV. She'll do just fine. As for the rest of us -- I'm not so sure.

Read more reactions to the Biden-Palin Vice Presidential debate from HuffPost bloggers

Comments

[Lynxville]

I challenge a reply from anyone who can articulate why someone like Palin isn't simply the (il)logical conclusion to the political Russian roulette that this country has been playing for at least the last two elections in either either electing George W.--or allowing him to be "selected" for us?

What can we expect from "providence" if we are to allow the mainstream media to lower the bar to such an extent that the floating non-answers from Palin are considered "acceptable" and given near equal weight to Joe Biden's answers by some of these hacks generously referred to as pundits?

What genuine "goodwill" can we expect when this semi-literate governor of Alaska is showcased for all of the world to see (thanks to the outrageously cynical pragmatism of John McCain) as indicative of the depths to which the neo-con(vict)s are willing to drag down all of the country in their Rovian quest for "Victory"?

I submit that this election may perhaps be the final "crossroad" that America has to altar and amend it's present nihilistic course before we reach a political point of no return--extreme CHAOS could be just around the corner....

[wisechild]

Thanks Erica Jong, lovely post...als­o,

You have made me laugh when all I was from last night's debate was rather disgusted.

Pa-lin was quite rehearsed and it was obvious she sometimes thought this was the beauty pageant...­so nice to get those flashbacks without drugs!

i loved watching her reading her script while Bi-den made sense. She should have thrown the cards away and listened, perhaps an original thought would have entered her near empty head.

Sad display of tools and tricks. No there there.

However, cute enough for those who found her so engaging. Obviously she is working that factor. I do wonder how many 'joe six packs' watched the debate.

She did better in that no major gaffe except for Iran and the US genereral in Afganistan.

What bothers me most is what a setback she is to female politicians. She had nothing to offer except winking, twitching, batting and the ability to memorize and then regurgitate key talking points. Folksy is as folksy does.

A shout out to Snow, McCaskill, Waters, Pelosi, Boxer, Hutchison and the other real female politicians with something to say.

Moving on...

[hphoenix]

One of the other hundred things that bothers me is the gas pipeline issue which is/isn't going to be built. That pipeline has to either be extended into Alberta or hook up with the TransCanada pipeline somewhere in the far north. The Alberta stretch isn't built. I don't know if it's even on the planning board. And TCP may/may not have the authority in law to build a pipeline to receive the gas. Apparently their mandate isn't absolutely clear, which could mean years of court battles. Has anyone fact checked this thoroughly? It's one thing for Alaska to build a pipeline, but that gas isn't going anywhere without Canadian infrastructure unless someone has found a way to liquify it and ship it. Sounds like a multi-year negotiation and building project, not something the lower 48 can expect to relieve an energy crunch any time soon.

[Atomicjim]

"I do wonder how many 'joe six packs' watched the debate." That depends on whether American Gladiator or survivor, or the WWF was on at the same time.

[csepwede]

Palin governs over a state with the highest ratio of men to women... so she has learned how to use her feminine charms to get votes.

She behaves like she's serving buffalo wings at Hooters, with the winking and the flirtatious behavior.

[robXdion]

When the Troopergate findings are done and McCain looses, she will need to find another gig because this campaign has vetted the heck out of her. Her best bet is as a game show host or correspondent on Fox & Friends.

[oldfart1]

You can be sure she will never go back to Alaska.

[boing007]

Ms. Palin has learned to work the crowd with her not so subtle erotic undertones. The winking, nose crinkling, and mugging are all meant to seduce. I half expect her to start twirling her hair and licking her lips. This is clearly intentional and a well-developed part of her persona.

I guess it works just fine with her First Dude.

[Hufferton]

Thank you Ms. Jong.

I love it when you talk *intelligent* to me........­.(and others).

Intelligent woman are the greatest gift to mankind.

[Hufferton]

That's Intelligent women...

after all I am a Republican who has been listening to Bush for *ate* years and for the past month I had to listen to Sissy Palin. Bad spellin' and *grammerz* bound to rub off on a credulous Republican state of mind....

[magicmary]

"Intelligent woman are the greatest gift to mankind"

YES!! Let's all promise each other that no matter what happens to education in this country that we will all make educating each other a core value.

[feo]

Proving you shouldn't get your political philosophy from old episodes of Hee-Haw or Professor Irwin Corey (you kids look it up, though he was the World's Ultimate Authority on Everything).

[TheAntiSheep]

I wonder how many years she's set women in politics back by? That's pretty objectionable, as is her desire to out-Cheney Dick Cheney if (God help us all) she ends up as VP.

Constitution? *wink* I'll have to read it in between all my newspapers and periodicals and magazines *big smile* and get back to ya, fer sure! *undoes top button of blouse*

[Walden2Now]

Speaking of Lewis Carrol characters, she (and McCain, for that matter) remind me of Carroll's Humpty Dumpty:

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone. "It means just what I choose it to mean - neither more or less."
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master - that's all."

[Rob Stafford - Huffpost Blogger]

What I tell you three times is true!

[PackyJ]

Ms. Jong,
I haven't always agreed with your viewpoint, but I've always admired your ability to write.
Once again, you have achieved a clarity of expression to many others can only only aspire.

This time, your analysis is spot-on.

Also.

[Sammy00400]

Well some of what you said was a little rough but point taken. At times Palin appeared more serious when not doing the prepared speeches. Easiest way to tell was when she looked at Biden instead of the camera. Im sure those were practiced as well but when she did it looked like a real debate. She would have been better off if she did that most of the time.

[iheardthisbefore]

The headline of this article is EXACTLY what the problem is with
the GOP "insult to America" by nominating such a cardboard pin
up figure to the Vice Presidency­....
Pardon me, but the level of "cuteness", or raw sex appeal are NOT,
REPEAT NOT, what I would consider "qualifications" to be elected
Vice President.

[sfden50]

I'm cute too (in my humble opinion) - can I run?

[wryter]

Nice post, Ms. Jong.
So many of the post-debate pundits are saying that Palin won the expectations game by successfully speaking in complete sentences. My sister and I watched the debate together, and we're not so sure. We're both educated women from humble beginnings, and neither of us had any idea what this woman was talking about.
Like the pre-debate conventional wisdom about Joe Biden and the beauty pageant contestant Palin famously once was (and may still consider herself to be), her sentences got lost inside themselves and floated aimlessly in a sea of spite, malapropism (at one point she called on John McCain to "leave--er, lead") and fluff that would make a Toastmaster cry. I swear at one point she started praising "the U.S. Americans.­"
I wanted Hillary. I'll vote for Obama. We are a much better country than this woman's handlers think we are.

[truthskr]

In addition to the endless use of "also," let's talk about I-ran and I-raq, or her desperate and almost always failing attempts to pronounce "nuclear" correctly. There's issues of accent, but this display was clearly a case of hopeless, prideful ignorance.

I didn't find her charming or "folksy" in the least. I found her willful stupidity insulting, her lack of humility offensive, and her unbridled arrogance frightening. And this person wants all the powers of Cheney and then some? Great, just what we need, someone not even half as smart as Cheney (who I despise) but seemingly twice as power-hungry, if that's possible.