Erik Nelson has written for several comedy websites and published short fiction while living in the deep South. He has studied the local culture of his Red State and feels confident that they have accepted him as one of their own. Big mistake.

Join him behind enemy lines, deep in the Red Zone. Or email him at erikseannelson@gmail.com.

Blog Entries by Erik Sean Nelson

Obama Wins the Publisher's Clearing House Prize, Conservatives Protest

Posted October 10, 2009 | 11:26 AM (EST)


When the Publisher's Clearing House Van pulled up to the White House, Obama was surprised by balloons, cameras, and an over-sized check for one million dollars.

Obama said he was "humbled" that putting a gold sticker on a piece of mail could be so rewarding. He promised to continue to...

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Stupidity Is Your Pre-Existing Condition

1 Comments | Posted September 13, 2009 | 03:35 PM (EST)


Because a few town hallers got more press time than sane people, the Democrats lost the month of August. Why are the cable nuts winning?

I can't believe Democrats are running around like wimps when 70% of Americans support health care reform. They are caving in to...

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A Post Apology

43 Comments | Posted July 3, 2009 | 06:00 PM (EST)


I wrote a piece making fun of the fact that a Trig Palin joke was given as the reason that Sarah Palin left office. I wrote jokes that were offensive but my intent was for them to be ironic and therefore not offensive. I was wrong. Within ten minutes of...

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Vick Will Miss Prison Food -- Takes a Doggie-Bag

Posted May 20, 2009 | 07:37 PM (EST)


Former superstar athlete Michael Vick was released from prison today after nearly 2 years in prison for running a dog fighting ring. Before the cameras today he announced his partnership with EA GAMES to release new video games based on his life. The first allows players to fight dogs to...

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What Would Jesus Spank To?

2 Comments | Posted May 5, 2009 | 10:59 PM (EST)


Jesus of course would never masturbate to naked pictures of Miss California winner Carrie Prejean. He has some dignity unlike this Bible-loving hypocrite. Today naked pictures of her were released and in response, I'd like to change her name to "Carrie Pre-cum in my Jeans."

Recently, Carrie Prejean said that...

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Hitler's Motivational Self-Help Book: "Sieg Heil With a Smile!"

Posted April 25, 2009 | 10:59 AM (EST)


In India right now Mein Kampf is a bestseller among Indian Business School students who are looking to it as a Self-Help Book. This is beyond disturbing. Here is a list of other inappropriate Nazi Self-Help Books:

"How to Win Wars and Exterminate People"

"The Seven Habits of Highly Effective...

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Creating Stem Cells without Hurting Embryos Kills All the Fun

Posted November 28, 2007 | 11:38 AM (EST)



Now that the New York Times reports Dr. James Thomson and colleagues have discovered a way to create stem cells without killing human embryos, scientists will have to find another evil way to get their sadistic kicks. Many scientists had hoped they would one day create life so...

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