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A Letter to My Former Self

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FAT BIKINI
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I was recently inspired by a video that was made by Virgie Tovar, in which she wrote a letter to her former fat girl self and read it aloud. As someone that is very interested in self-love and healing, I thought this would be a really great thing to do to help me make peace with my past.

Here's my video and below is a copy of the letter:

Dear Erin,

You're starting to get into the wonderful world of fashion and beauty -- you're discovering your beautiful inner femme! You'll soon start to watch How Do I Look?, America's Next Top Model and Fashion Police. You'll buy makeup that your dad will make you wash off before you go to church. You will pour over the pages of Teen Vouge and Seventeen, wishing that you could own all of the clothes featured on their glossy pages. You'll spend hours in your closet, searching for that perfect outfit, not for any special occasion but just because you love to always look your best.

But with this entire wonderful discovery, you'll start to see that your body type isn't being represented... anywhere. You'll find that when you go shopping, it's a challenge to find clothing that's cute in your size. You'll feel guilty when you go for that second piece of cake at a birthday party, because you'll also be reading a lot of articles on dieting. You will long for attention from boys that you aren't getting and feel that the only way you can get it is if you lose weight. You will try to get a "bikini body" and wish that you could rock one -- if only you knew that you could all along! You'll develop an unhealthy relationship to food and your body -- you'll no longer see them as sources of pleasure and delight -- you'll start to loathe them and lose that sense of wonder.

But I want you to know that eventually, you'll start to change. No, you won't ever get thin, but you will understand why diets don't work, why being a fat girl is not only OK but awesome and that you can wear whatever you want, no matter how much you weigh. When you're 19, you won't love yourself completely, you'll still have bad body image days, and you'll still sometimes long to be thin, but know that you're getting there. You're starting to uncover the secrets and regain the wonder and insight into your fabulous body.

Take care of yourself and eat that chocolate that you've been avoiding!

xoxo,

Erin

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To all of you fat girls out there, know that you aren't alone in your struggles. Things will get better and the sooner you learn to love yourself and accept your body for the beautiful thing that that it is, the sooner you'll get there. Stop listening to society and start listening to YOU.

Start a revolution. Stop hating your body.

I believe in you.