I had just come back from a month's stay at my teacher's ashram in India, when I first heard of the law of attraction. A friend came to my house one evening, with the DVD of The Secret, and we watched it together. I was spellbound. In bed that night, I imagined the abundance that from now on, I would be able to attract into my life.
But... three years later....
While Obama and his family were getting ready to move to their new house in Washington, my family was facing a different reality; we could no longer afford ours.
We had built this house; it had been our home for the last twelve years. No one else had lived in it. We had tried, we had prayed, we had delayed this moment for what seemed like years. But now we had to sell. Quick!
How could such good, smart, talented and well-connected people like my husband and myself, find ourselves in such financial straits? How could we have gone from being able to stay in the best hotels, sail first class on the QE2, to being forced to sell our home? I was stunned. Was Madoff better or worse off than us? I once asked my older son.
"Better," my son Andrew thought. "With his money and his lawyers, he'll get out of prison in a few years." I didn't agree with his view.
I thought of the time and money we'd given to feed the homeless, in my darkest moments now, I feared that I might end up being one. My whole being shuddered.
I fell into deep depression. Weighed down by unspeakable dread, I cowered in bed, for days, weeks. Nights were worse; I would wake up feeling as though my heart and my stomach were being wrenched out of me. No tossing, turning or curling up into a ball, would bring relief. Shivering with cold and grief, I would slip out of bed. On my hands and knees I appealed to God.
"This is too hard, Lord. I am tired of struggling. I have no strength left. I've done nothing wrong. I've always done my best. Please Lord give me strength. I need to get back on my feet. Please Lord, help me get back on my feet."
Exhausted, I would get back into bed and roll up into a ball. If only I could get on my feet again... I knew that I was strong. I had seen just how strong when my son had died. Barely able to breathe from the pain, I had willed myself to live for my husband and children. I had forged ahead and created a foundation in my son's name. But now I couldn't connect with that indomitable part of me that, in the face of a challenge, could stand tall and say: "Bring it on, you mother fucker" No. I had hit rock bottom.
The good thing about reaching such a low point was that riding on the crest of this wave of pain; my Being launched a cry for help so mighty, that it rocked the Universe.
When help arrived, it was in the form of a video clip emailed to me by a wise friend. It was a short segment of a workshop by Abraham-Hicks, on the law of attraction.
As I watched this short video, a fresh feeling of hope awoke in my heart and my energy shifted. Soon after, I was back to my old self again.
When two weeks later I put my center hall colonial on the market (I am a realtor by the way), I expected multiple offers, a bidding war, and a May 15th closing.
Except for the closing that we postponed to May 20th, that is exactly how it went.
I liked our new home....
See you next week
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