Like a drunk person crashing at your house, a baby may:

• Need to be carried inside
• Paw at your breasts, with or without other people present
• Insist on telling long, incomprehensible stories
• Cry
• Eat all your applesauce
• Lurch around in an uncoordinated fashion, grabbing at your furniture for balance
• Fall
...

Spoilers ahead. Read at your own risk.

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