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Ester Bloom

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A Closer Look at 'Mommy Porn'

Posted: 04/17/2012 4:20 pm

Currently, Fifty Shades of Grey--an Australian e-book by an unknown female author with no marketing budget--is fourth on USA Today's Best-Selling Books list, behind only the Hunger Games trilogy. Grey's two sequels, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Free, have also climbed into the Top 20. And panic is gripping the nation, because these books, which are being enjoyed by The Ladies, are about The Sex.

In the past few weeks, several news pieces have addressed the issue of women getting off on these books and what that means. "Will Fifty Shades Of Grey Make 'Mommy Porn' The Next Big Thing?" asks Forbes. "Fifty Shades of Grey has America's national thong in a twist," declares USA Today, adding, "However you categorize it--mommy porn, erotic fiction, Twilight fan fiction gone rogue, a symbol of moral decay--British writer E.L. James' NC-17 bondage trilogy has gone from e-book cult favorite to publishing phenomenon." "Everyone from so-called "mommy bloggers" to hardcore feminists is hailing the tome as a triumph for women, in spite of the book's strong themes of female submission at the hands of a high-powered man," says FoxNews.com. The article also goes on to use the now-inescapable phrase "mommy porn."

Captain Obvious would point out that there is no such thing as "daddy porn," presumably because dads remain men, even after procreating. Once they give birth, women apparently morph into "mommies," neutered creatures who may be venerated but don't need to be taken seriously. Hence their easily-dismissed "mommy blogs" and now their "mommy porn."

The phrase, even more than the phenomenon of married ladies reading smut on their Kindles, raises all sorts of interesting questions about how women's sexuality is viewed by society at large. By modifying the highly-charged word "porn," are we diminishing its power because we remain deeply uncomfortable with the idea of even adult, married women having erotic needs? According to the breathless news coverage, the answer seems to be, "Kind of, yeah!"

There is a long and storied history of women reading to build up, and blow off, steam. I first learned that "romance" was merely a polite literary euphemism for "porn" when, on a sleepover in sixth grade, a friend showed me her secret stash of paperback Harlequins, over which we stayed up for hours, wide-eyed and red-faced. In seventh grade, I found out that "historical fiction" could be another, more high-brow mask for "porn" when I stumbled on Jean M. Auel's Earth Children series. (Plot synopsis: pre-historic hottie Ayla, raised among Neanderthals, meets sensitive Cromagnon Jondalar. Pausing only to invent throwing spears, awls, and probably an early version of the iPad, Ayla hanky-panks with Jonadalar across early Europe.) Auel's books have sold over 45 million copies worldwide. Harlequin is one of the most profitable publishing companies anywhere; according to the New York Times, they make hundreds of millions of dollars in sales every year.

That sex sells, even to women, should not, in 2012, come as a surprise. Yet something about this publishing phenomenon seems to have gotten under our culture's skin. What's different about Fifty Shades of Grey? It's kinky.

The sex in Harlequin romances tends to be extremely tame. The rugged, beefy, All-American men bursting out of their shirts on the covers of the paperbacks telegraph to the reader all she or he needs to know about what's going to happen in the bedroom (or on the grass, or aboard the pirate ship): straight-up, classical seduction. Jondalar, who is, coincidentally, described to look like a dead-ringer for Fabio, never expresses a desire more risquƩ than giving Ayla pleasure. Even Sex and the City, which expanded our society's understanding of women's ability to both enjoy, and speak freely, about sex, portrayed women who were pretty traditional in terms of what turned them on. No main character had a hidden fetish or a desire to dominate or be dominated. In Grey, a young woman signs a contract giving an older man control over her life. The readers in Grey's universe are not in the Kansas of Harlequin novels anymore, or even the sanitized New York City of SATC; they've crossed over into the darker, edgier world of the 2002 indie/cult-favorite Secretary. Except that, for the first time, their support has helped something marginal cross over into the mainstream.

Grey's success has communicated to the news media that some women's taste runs to BDSM and power play--enough women, in fact, to get the attention of the Gray Lady herself. To some degree, this is old news. Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Twilight, both bona fide phenomena, spawned reams of fan fiction by drawing on similar themes (especially Buffy's Season 6, which you can hardly watch without overheating); the original draft of Grey was, in fact, Twilight fan fiction. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series leans heavily on explicit sex scenes that are anything but square. And for power play, it's hard to beat the unorthodox use of cigars in the Starr Report, now fifteen years old. Ultimately, the BDSM buzz around Grey seems like a red herring. What shocks the media is not that women are paying to read about a naĆÆve college student submitting to a relative stranger; it's that women--even adult, married women with children--are jonesing to read about sex at all.

As a society, we tend to ignore Harlequin's massive success, or treat it as some kind of anomaly; and we seem more comfortable with the long-running joke that Porn for Women is men doing housework than the idea that women also like their raunch, including material that's less-vanilla and more Karamel Sutra. Porn is porn! Lots of people consume it and, as with sexism, we know it when we see it. Most importantly, moms don't hang up their gonads after their kids are born; they remain sexual beings. Ye gods! Where do you think babies continue to come from? If you really don't know, I have a book or two I could recommend.

 

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Currently, Fifty Shades of Grey--an Australian e-book by an unknown female author with no marketing budget--is fourth on USA Today's Best-Selling Books list, behind only the Hunger Games trilogy. Grey...
Currently, Fifty Shades of Grey--an Australian e-book by an unknown female author with no marketing budget--is fourth on USA Today's Best-Selling Books list, behind only the Hunger Games trilogy. Grey...
 
 
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01:12 AM on 04/22/2012
I love soft porn
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nofriendofrepublicans
Mother friendly.
09:14 PM on 04/21/2012
My mom's like 90 years old, I'm not gettin' it.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
KateInMT
May you stay forever young.
05:14 PM on 04/21/2012
There's far too much over-thinking and interpretation involved in discussions about "Fifty Shades.." Is it literary genius? Of course not. It never intended to be. Is it erotic fantasy? Yes, it is. You either like it or you don't. If you do like it, you're not a kinky secret dom or sub. If you don't like it, you're not a prude or a literary critic. Read it, enjoy it, and smile occasionally as you look up from your Kindle in the coffee shop.
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John Genryu
Zen Buddhist priest/IT Consultant
10:21 AM on 04/20/2012
'Mommie porn' is simply poorly written racy romance fiction. It's not even porn and, if it were, it would be embarrassingly bad porn.
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butchcliff
The future is unwritten
06:48 AM on 04/20/2012
Was listening to a publisher & an author of these books on the radio the other day. These women are finding it quite a lucrative career. Good for them
06:18 PM on 04/19/2012
I read a few pages of this book. First of all, I hate porn and this is basically soft porn. But that's my opinion. Secondly, the writing is atrocious. It is beyond me why there are almost 200 holds on it at my local library. It is clearly dressed up fan fiction made "fancy" with a book cover.
03:58 PM on 04/20/2012
I don't read romance novels or whatever they are calling these,but rest assured,no one is reading them because they are great literature!
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MikeDu
Both salubrious and lugubrious concurrently.
05:43 PM on 04/19/2012
If you have to go all the way to S&M fantasy to get your fulfillment maybe you aren't 'really' into sex all that much at all. You're obviously interested in something *other* than sex, in power roleplaying perhaps. The sex part is just an adjunct, and apparently an unfulfilling one if you need to go farther.
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jf12
When I saw her I marveled greatly.
06:08 PM on 04/19/2012
That's easy for you to say. And easy for me to agree with.
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John Genryu
Zen Buddhist priest/IT Consultant
10:20 AM on 04/20/2012
Mike, you might want to at least find out what S & M involves before saying things like this.
11:31 PM on 04/18/2012
Wow. Women have sex and like it, and incidentally read about it. Who would've guessed?
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WhyBeadNormal
I live by the Golden Rule...
08:34 PM on 04/22/2012
OMG.....wait until they discover that some women watch internet porn also! and OMG...moms have sex and want to have sex too! Who'd have thunk it?
10:02 PM on 04/18/2012
Women have been reading explicit sex scenes in romance novels for a while now. It sounds like what's different here is that it's pretty strongly submissive sex. Maybe we should be concerned.
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jf12
When I saw her I marveled greatly.
11:59 PM on 04/18/2012
I'm bemused that it's such popular reading, but not such popular behavior.
02:26 PM on 04/22/2012
Just because it's not depicted in most mainstream venues, or discussed in quite the same way/volume as vanilla sex, doesn't mean it isn't going on next door. Lots and lots and LOTS of people are into BDSM/kink. Even more like reading about it. No big.
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MissTake1989
Equal means equal, hypocrites.
05:35 AM on 04/20/2012
Concerned about?
viciousvirago
Veritatum Dilexi
08:21 PM on 04/18/2012
As a former trauma surgeon and obviously female, at 59 I still have my pilot light on and it's burning pretty hot. I don't look my age, about 45 and men come on to me all the time. Sex is a biological function that should be enjoyed by people as long as they can. There is nothing like it, believe me. It's God's way of saying "yes I am alive!".

That women would read something like this doesn't shock me, but I wouldn't be caught dead reading this in a public place. Sex is private, or at least should be. I'm not interested in reading it, I'd rather do it.
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jf12
When I saw her I marveled greatly.
12:00 AM on 04/19/2012
Freud considered libido the opposite of death.
Mjones2
My micro-bio is bigger than yours
10:34 PM on 04/22/2012
You can read it on a Kindle in public. Well, not YOU, but women who aren't prudes.
viciousvirago
Veritatum Dilexi
11:07 AM on 04/23/2012
OK, but only in private and not when my son is around. I'm not a prude when it comes to sex, but I consider it private. Thanks.
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inapickle
08:04 PM on 04/18/2012
I have no interest in this book (based on reviews), but I do often enjoy romance fiction. My question is, why is a key element of so much of it based on the utter innocence (not even a history of handholding!) of the heroine? I avoid books of that nature, but a lot of adult people seem to lap them up. What's with that?
06:54 PM on 04/18/2012
The writing doesn't matter much, it is the archetypical significance of the main characters' names and their inversed meanings. Christian is obvious along with the inversive behavior attributed to him. Anastasia which means "resurrection" pulls from two royal family members.Anastasia Romanova who was married to Ivan The Terrible who became the first Czar of all Russia and the future Grand Duchess named Anastasia Romanoff who with the rest of the royal family was murdered by the Bolshevics ending the Romanoff rule. Notice how this relates to: "I am the Alpha and the Omega" from The Book of Revelations.So, in the shadow of these "50 Shades of Gray" these women can feel safe to indulge in the full schema of their desires.
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05:51 PM on 04/18/2012
Submission intoxicates. Power is submission with pants.
06:28 PM on 04/18/2012
aye aye popeye!! well said, and I hope that the DOM's get intoxicated with power also!!! teeheehee
02:23 PM on 04/22/2012
F&F for that.
04:32 PM on 04/18/2012
The problem with the 50 Shades trilogy is how terrible the writing is - most notably in the last 2 books. The plot reads like an adolescent's diary, and it's full of holes. While classic "smut" like Fanny Hill or Lady Chatterley's Lover takes place over a long period of time, where you get a fully developed character that is somewhat believable, in 50 Shades, things move way too fast for real life. The author clearly didn't plan things out carefully, and this causes the reader to stop "rooting" for the protagonists. The story had potential, and it's sad that people are so caught up in the hype. If you're going to read a smutty book, at least pick one that is written well and has some style!
10:03 PM on 04/18/2012
Maybe censorship had a strange value - it pushed people to create smut with some redeeming value?
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cwebster
predominantly exasperated
11:09 PM on 04/18/2012
Or it's just that people used to be able to actually write. Now, anyone with a computer thinks they can...and they have no idea about grammar, punctuation or structure.
03:16 PM on 04/18/2012
My opinion is that the real problem is that the writing is awful--the fact that it started as Twilight fanfic says a lot--and that the author hasn't bothered to try to understand anything about BDSM. It sounds as though many people here haven't, either. Interesting, to be so judgmental about something you know nothing about.
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cwebster
predominantly exasperated
04:05 PM on 04/18/2012
That would be my issue. There's a lot of GOOD erotica in the library and on the Internet...and it's free:)
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belladio
Not in the mood to suffer fools
07:47 PM on 04/18/2012
Many people are ignorantly judgmental, Egghead, and will do exactly as you said - judge something they know nothing about. Makes no sense, can't understand how they even think they have a RIGHT to do so let alone when they are ignorant of the topic/behavior/act/whatever, but they do ignorantly judge - and vociferously!