07/11/2012 03:20 pm ET | Updated Sep 10, 2012

Horrible Parents Raise Awful Kids

This isn't rocket science, folks. Parents with atrocious manners have children that raise the bar on bad behavior. I have witnessed countless mean moms that grow up with daughters that, surprise, make Lindsay Lohan look saintly. If only a simple look in the mirror would do the trick.

Our kids look up to us and want to emulate us. Believe me, the obligation is maddeningly enormous. When I slam my finger in a drawer (as I did this morning) and want to curse like a banshee, I take a deep breath because I know that my boys are watching my every move. It's no fun. Sometimes I don't feel like censoring my actions, but I do it nonetheless. Yes, it's exhausting. But it's also called being a responsible parent.

So, if I feel that my kid is being unfairly disciplined by a parent volunteer, would I plant drugs on said woman to teach her a lesson? Lord, what is this world coming to? Here's the deal. Kent and Jill Easter (both law school graduates of prestigious California universities, mind you) are accused of slipping drugs on the parent volunteer that they tried to sue back in 2010. That case was ultimately dismissed, and the Easters allegedly decided to take justice into their own hands.

When my kids are involved in a tussle at the playground, I don't rush to defend them. They are kids. I make sure that they own up to their mistakes. If they end up being the victims, I handle the situation rationally. I don't throw haymakers at the kids' parents.

Another stellar example of superb parenting is the mom who allegedly thought that it would be a fantastic idea to steal from the PTA. No joke. This mom stands accused of helping herself to roughly five thousand dollars, and then allegedly used some of that money to give her daughter an American Girl-themed birthday party.

Be good, people. We owe it to the next generation.