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Hi! My Name is Evan, and I'll Be Your Buzz Killer this Evening
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2008 Election, Barack Obama, Democrats, Economy, Election Reaction, Republicans,
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It's good! It's great! It's all fantastic, and I'm thrilled! Really. I do mean it. But something seems to be escaping our attention amidst the exaltation. In spite of the wars, the lies, the torture, the stacking of the courts, and the rollbacks to civil liberties; in spite of the religious fundamentalism, the fanaticism, and the utter disdain toward the population that's been expressed; in spite of the Katrina fiasco, the wire tapping, and the raping and pillaging of our economy for corporate gain (not to mention the ridiculousness and horrendous idiocy of the Republican campaign, including the Palin monstrosity) 56 million, 378 thousand, 316 Americans still voted for the other side.
To humanize that just a bit, that means that 56,378,316 individuals waited in line just as long as you did, and worked just as hard as anyone else, to try to make sure that Barack Obama would not become president of the United States. I don't know about you, but that scares the shit out of me. It means -- for reasons that go way beyond any immediate financial crises -- we're still in very deep trouble.
Who are they, and why do they feel this way? Well, they're 4.6 out of every 10 people you pass on the street. In other words, in spite of an electoral landslide and a historically significant popular margin, we still barely won. Just about as many people wanted it to go the other way.
So, with those facts on the table, how do we pursue an aggressive agenda, and how do we sway some of those people and get them on board to reverse course? One possibility would be to take the route the Republicans took: they forced an extremist agenda down the country's throat in spite of having lost the popular vote (and still kept 46% support this past Tuesday!). Somehow I don't see an Obama administration tacking that tack.
I've been spewing a joke around for the two or three weeks leading up to the election. I've been saying that, should Obama prevail, every woman who can stomach it should immediately go out, find a Republican man, and give him a blow job. Just make sure to impress upon him that the only reason he's getting the blow job is in celebration of a Democratic victory. The theory being that, come the next election, when he finds himself alone in a voting cubicle, his dick will point the way toward the Democratic lever. Kind of a reverse Lysistrata effect. Crass, perhaps, but not an insubstantial strategy.
And now I find myself thinking in even crasser terms. Like, if you've got some money stashed away in these economically stormy days, if you've got some major purchases anywhere on your horizon, time them out for the first ninety days of the new administration. Need a washer/dryer or an automobile? Thinking of buying a new home? Want to get back into the stock market? Hold off 'till after January 20th, and let the numbers show sudden economic improvement during the first three months of a new Democratic majority. Because I've got a sneaking suspicion that those 56,378,316 misguided souls aren't the most sophisticated sailors on the sea.
I'm not suggesting we'd be successfully addressing any of the serious issues that need to be sorted out. But I am thinking that, if they're crass enough, and easily hoodwinked enough, to have voted Republican after the last eight years, we might as well do a little psychological manipulation of our own. We might not be able to win their hearts and minds, or erase whatever bigotry led them to vote as they did. But we should be able to outwit them. Let 'em read a few positive economic headlines just as they're fearing the wrath of God is about to drop down upon us. Let 'em think that, even if the "Godless," "unreal" Americans have prevailed, it might be good for their pocketbooks. And then, maybe then, they might climb aboard the Peace Train. (Though, if you're up for the adventure, those blow jobs might not be a bad insurance policy. Just don't leave the Democratic boys out completely).
Evan Handler is in the midst of a 25 city book tour, in support of "It's Only Temporary: The Good News and the Bad News of Being Alive." Upcoming appearances include:
San Diego, CA 11/8/2008
Los Angeles, CA 11/9/2008
Milwaukee, WI 11/10/2008
Columbus, OH 11/11/2008
St. Louis, MO 11/12/2008
Detroit, MI 11/13/2008
Ann Arbor, MI 11/14/2008
Boston, MA 11/16/2008
Atlanta, GA 11/17/2008
Orange County, CA 11/22/2008
Details, exact locales, and times at EvanHandler.com, under "Appearances."
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56 million people voted for McCain. Well, it sounds like the democrats are definitely trying to win them over! NOT!
I always wonder why democrats and liberals think that Republicans have no education and not intelligence.
If that is true...the
Obama has tough job ahead of him. By belittling those that voted against him, the democrats are just preparing themselves for a backlash two years from now. That is the best reason for a multi-party system...t
Conservatives are constantly condemning liberals, but whenever the reverse happens, it's "How dare you, just you wait, we'll get you for that". It just seems that a large group of people take a very simplistic, black and white view of things and feel that any problem can be solved with some combination of more religion, more guns and less taxes.
for the one's who are educated, the republican attraction is pure and simple; money
the irony is now they don't have any...and still they remain faithful. they must be dogs
I agree that a multi-party system, rather than a two party system, would be great for the country. As for Democrats not attempting to win over those who voted for McCain, if you are making that judgment purely on what you read on a blog site, you are simply silly.
I appreciate the humorous slant you're going for. Really. However, some of the responses you evoke may do well to study a little history. Change in the general public is a slow(ish) process, but the largest hurdle (getting Obama the presidency) is over. Why on Earth would opposing points of view "kill your buzz"?
This is something the youth vote will learn and understand better over time... Everyone will not agree with you. That's life. It will always be so. To believe or behave as though the "hero" will break through with some clever dialog and suddenly change the way the opposition sees things is just nonsense TV/Hollywood fantasy.
I voted for Obama. But at the end of the day, I know if he wishes to be re-elected 4 years from now, he will be a moderately liberal president. Just as McCain would have been a moderately conservative president had he won.
The fact is that most of those 56 million who voted for McCain live in Appalachia, the Midwest, in small rural towns which are hemorrhaging their own populations, no jobs or future and no hope of jobs or future, ignorant right down to the bone and true-blue faithful to the point of anger to those who sold them out because those who sold them out flattered their way of life, their values, their religion, their self-reliance and counted on their support while they sold them down the river for corporate profits and political power. Those who sold them out are rich and sophisticated and greedy and only pay attention to them in election years. They're not bad people, most of them don't have any idea that they've been domesticated and used and would resent the idea if they dared to think it. Mostly, their kids are smarter than they are, and less invested in a way of life that lends itself to manipulation and control. It's a generational thing. The frantic meanness of the Republicans comes from the fact that they sense they are increasingly yesterday's news. You can see it up front in the campaign just concluded in the way they threw epithets at Obama--socialist, terrorist, Muslim, Arab, elitist, celebrity, empty suit, idealist, amateur, oh, and did we mention that he's black? These people will be gone from the scene inside a generation but it's gonna be rough.
Yes, we republicans are just downright mean, and "domesticated"? That is hilarious.
Pelosi, Frank, Dodd, Reid, Obama, Biden. You have NO idea what you are in for..
I love how the "socialist" tag on Obama is bandied about by the Republicans who are looking forward to some day retiring and collecting "SOCIAL SECURITY", a Republican creation.
Of course, they always seem to overlook the damage that has been done to their other financial retirement options (401Ks, etc) during this economic crisis. How convenient it must be to collect SS and condemn it as you cash the check.
Do you have any concept of what Marxism is? Would you prefer Roosevelt's New Deal, which lifted so many people up, had never happened? If you don't believe in Socialism, renounce your Social Security and Medicare benefits. If you don't believe in wealth redistribution, work to do away with taxes so all our schools, parks, bridges, roads, military, police and fire departments, garbage pick-up, etc., can be privatized. Once all these things are operating for profit, it will be interesting to see how far your income will go then.
NC, VA and PA are Appalachia. Get a map.
That's why he said, "most". Another child left far far behind.
I predict in time, after seeing a Obama presidentcy of fair ,compassion and a genuine representation for all races, Obama will go on to two terms easily..
The reason Obama will be a 2-term President is that if he builds his administration like he built and ran his campaign, it will be the most incredible administration in the history of the U.S.
And the older crowd that had such a hard time voting for a black man for president should be reminded that when they were kids all there were was white sneakers but now they come in every color under the rainbow and most seniors actually love having such a big selection of colors in sneakers.
No, Evan, they did not work as hard as we did, believe like we do or care like we do. They simply waited around for 2 years and voted for the "white guy"....no less scary but far more understandable.
Of course, no one voted for Obama just because he was a "black guy".....
Nope. We didn't.
"I've got a sneaking suspicion that those 56,378,316 misguided souls aren't the most sophisticated sailors on the sea." - thanks for my morning laugh, Evan!
I agree. Loved the nautical metaphor!
See K.J. Dwyer's Profile
I hear ya, Evan.
I wrote a piece about the Palin debate performance that basically states the same fear. As obviously deficient to us are the ideas and actions of the Republican Party, there's a huge, heaving mass that seems addicted to their bile-based Pablum. The scary thing is that their numbers continue to grow.
The amount of the electorate that is self-identified Christian Evangelical, for instance, has been growing by a rate of 3% per presidential election cycle for the last three elections. They now represent 26% of the electorate.
How long before they reach critical mass?
http://www
EXCELLENT comment! For several years now, I have been referring to these people as "The Cult of Ignorance.
Wilbur
We may have won a historic victory, but something tells me the battle is not over. We who look to the future must be steadfast in our vision. President Obama has already created an inclusive environment for his opponents. I, on the other hand, after the way these people have forced things in the worst possible direction for the last 8 years, want to tell them all to shut the bleep up.
26%? Truly frightening! I'm even more amazed now that Obama won. I'm afraid it's going to take more than a political sea change to reverse this terrible trend.
No, no, they are shrinking, not growing. The younger evangelicals are not buying into the gop intolerance to the same extent as did their parents, and if that is the case, they are entitled to their evangelical beliefs. The world is moving on and these people are becoming obsolete. They can't survive in a changing world if they are terrified of change.
Obama will reeducate them once he finetunes public education, recruits for mandatory public service and starts up his own secular faith-based initiatives. Then everyone will think liked you, and we will bask in our collective unity, and the world will know peace. Happy now?
I can tell you who two of those people are:
1. My brother, who's convinced that Democrats are determined to take away his guns, so he votes Republican every time, no matter what.
2. A friend, who's a doctor who runs his own practice. He's a Republican who's convinced that Democrats want to get into his business and tell him how to doctor. He's also convinced that Obama wants to reform health care in a way that will ruin doctors' ability to stay in business (financially).
single issue voters in a complex world.
Exactly
So the doctor doesn't mind that the insurance companies take 30% of the medical profits and provide NO medical services and often dictate to doctors how they should proceed?
The Democratic President-elect does want to take your guns away. Your brother's not crazy.
During an October appearance in Ohio, Obama sought to reassure gun owners. "I will not take your shotgun away," he said. "I will not take your rifle away. I won't take your handgun away."
Because what he really means is:
They also support making the expired federal Assault Weapons Ban permanent, as such weapons belong on foreign battlefields and not on our streets.
These so-called "assault weapons" are semi-automatic rifles, no different than the semi-automatic 30.06 my father in law hunts with (I have a bolt action .300 WinMag). So he's lying yet again. He does want to take your rifle away.
Performance outperforms ignorance.
Excellence brightens dark mentalities.
Change upsets stagnation.
Reality transforms existentially.
Those short phrases all mean that the best way for Mr. Obama to bring the rest of the country along is to bring them along as the nation transforms through leaving the present quagmire of economic woe and swamp of military deployment in countries we should not have a presence in as an invading force.
A dissenting poor person of Appalachia who suddenly has employment opportunities, food on the table, finds their children being educated, and their community thriving, will change their mind. Ice melts through the heat that comes from new realities of exposure to the sunshine of possibility.
Just as the economic situation will not be easy to solve (it does not lend itself to a quick fix) so too, will the problems of dissent in the populace concerning an Obama presidency take time to address.
Lastly, there will always be opposition for cohesion is defined by opposition. Mr. Obama’s target is reducing the amount of opposition from a roar to a whimper. I think he has the ability. The times we are living in are stuffed full of peril however, and if we do not come together, he will fail. Cohesion therefore is not an option but a requirement.
I remember the way Clinton (43% popular vote) implemented his "mandate" in 1992. It led to the Republican Tsunami of 1994!! It also saved his presidency as he was only presented with good legislation to sign.
"It also saved his presidency as he was only presented with good legislation to sign."
Like the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act that deregulated banking and resulted in the collapse of the US/World economy we are seeing today? Try again.
Like the Glass-Seagall Act that led to the collapse of the banking industry?
Obama can cure at least some of those 56.4 million of their reticence by swiftly implementing reforms that positively impact their lives. Deeds will win them over, not words. I have confidence we have the capacity to progress beyond the current reality of America, but lets not kid ourselves, it will be by people feeling the positive change directly not by noticing what a nice guy Obama seems to be. Now is the time for *action!
(*One major goal should be implementation of the "Fairness Doctrine" so we can dilute some of the Right Wing brainwashing that has polluted the Nation's spirit ... this is a VERY important step ... oh, and that goes for what the Pentagon pipes to Iraq and Afghanistan as well so we can address some misconceptions that are confounding some of our troops)
Please explain to me why a "Fairness Doctrine" is necessary? Obviously it is aimed at right-wing radio. It has been proven for 20+ years that libs/dems can't compete in this medium so instead of trying to earn an audience, lets enact a regulation to even the playing field. I love how people of your ilk are always preaching the 1st Amendment and freedom of choice but this proves beyond a doubt that you only care about those as long as they are in-step with your agenda.. HYPOCRITES
Also, our troops are not confounded by anything. You feel they are because we don't buy into the goods liberals are selling. When i go to the desert AGAIN in 3 weeks (with 300+ who have volunteered as well), we know why we are there and what we are doing, so please keep your condescension to yourself.
In the marketplace of ideas choice is a good thing, propaganda isn't. Having a monopolistic control of the airwaves may have worked in the Soviet Union or the Third Reich but is an insult to the principles of the United States of America.
All the "Fairness Doctrine" would mean is for every three hour block of right wing radio there would need to be equal time for the other side. That way people have choice and an ability to weigh the various arguments rather than being brainwashed into thinking they know the whole story. The present state of corporate ownership of media outlets has to be addressed as well, so free speech can exist instead of a corporate political strategy masquerading as free speech.
Any American, including the troops, will buy what is available in the Market Place of ideas. Since the end of the "Fairness Doctrine" and the implementation of the Telecommunications Act of 1996, the marketplace has been restrictive and, for the most part, closed to anything out of the Corporate Center Right Mainstream ... that is not freedom of ideas, and therefore not beneficial for our country.
Absolutely RIGHT and well put. The Liberal ideology cant compete in the marketplace of ideas, not enough demand for it. They have to cry "foul" and run home to mama. You are one of the many fighting for the rights so many take for granted. They want their freedom of speech but will be the first to try and silence others that dont agree with their ideology. Look at the global warming debacle, they DONT want debate, they believe there is a consensus. DOnt worry, while you are off in a foreign land, we will fight back here to ensure the FAIRNESS DOCTRINE is never reinstated.
You take care of yourself and your fellow soldiers..
Obama recognized these Americans when he spoke about (my paraphrase of Obama's words) "those whose support I have not yet earned....
But then he also has that funny way of scratching his face. Reminds me of GWB.
Wow. That doesnt even include the ones that actually wanted mccain in office. Amazing. So the number is like 70 million or so I presume.
Well this is really helpful to foster a spirit of bipartisan cooperation!
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