Hi! My Name is Evan, and I'll Be Your Buzz Killer this Evening
It's good! It's great! It's all fantastic, and I'm thrilled! Really. I do mean it. But something seems to be escaping our attention amidst the exaltation. In spite of the wars, the lies, the torture, the stacking of the courts, and the rollbacks to civil liberties; in spite of the religious fundamentalism, the fanaticism, and the utter disdain toward the population that's been expressed; in spite of the Katrina fiasco, the wire tapping, and the raping and pillaging of our economy for corporate gain (not to mention the ridiculousness and horrendous idiocy of the Republican campaign, including the Palin monstrosity) 56 million, 378 thousand, 316 Americans still voted for the other side.
To humanize that just a bit, that means that 56,378,316 individuals waited in line just as long as you did, and worked just as hard as anyone else, to try to make sure that Barack Obama would not become president of the United States. I don't know about you, but that scares the shit out of me. It means -- for reasons that go way beyond any immediate financial crises -- we're still in very deep trouble.
Who are they, and why do they feel this way? Well, they're 4.6 out of every 10 people you pass on the street. In other words, in spite of an electoral landslide and a historically significant popular margin, we still barely won. Just about as many people wanted it to go the other way.
So, with those facts on the table, how do we pursue an aggressive agenda, and how do we sway some of those people and get them on board to reverse course? One possibility would be to take the route the Republicans took: they forced an extremist agenda down the country's throat in spite of having lost the popular vote (and still kept 46% support this past Tuesday!). Somehow I don't see an Obama administration tacking that tack.
I've been spewing a joke around for the two or three weeks leading up to the election. I've been saying that, should Obama prevail, every woman who can stomach it should immediately go out, find a Republican man, and give him a blow job. Just make sure to impress upon him that the only reason he's getting the blow job is in celebration of a Democratic victory. The theory being that, come the next election, when he finds himself alone in a voting cubicle, his dick will point the way toward the Democratic lever. Kind of a reverse Lysistrata effect. Crass, perhaps, but not an insubstantial strategy.
And now I find myself thinking in even crasser terms. Like, if you've got some money stashed away in these economically stormy days, if you've got some major purchases anywhere on your horizon, time them out for the first ninety days of the new administration. Need a washer/dryer or an automobile? Thinking of buying a new home? Want to get back into the stock market? Hold off 'till after January 20th, and let the numbers show sudden economic improvement during the first three months of a new Democratic majority. Because I've got a sneaking suspicion that those 56,378,316 misguided souls aren't the most sophisticated sailors on the sea.
I'm not suggesting we'd be successfully addressing any of the serious issues that need to be sorted out. But I am thinking that, if they're crass enough, and easily hoodwinked enough, to have voted Republican after the last eight years, we might as well do a little psychological manipulation of our own. We might not be able to win their hearts and minds, or erase whatever bigotry led them to vote as they did. But we should be able to outwit them. Let 'em read a few positive economic headlines just as they're fearing the wrath of God is about to drop down upon us. Let 'em think that, even if the "Godless," "unreal" Americans have prevailed, it might be good for their pocketbooks. And then, maybe then, they might climb aboard the Peace Train. (Though, if you're up for the adventure, those blow jobs might not be a bad insurance policy. Just don't leave the Democratic boys out completely).
Evan Handler is in the midst of a 25 city book tour, in support of "It's Only Temporary: The Good News and the Bad News of Being Alive." Upcoming appearances include:
San Diego, CA 11/8/2008
Los Angeles, CA 11/9/2008
Milwaukee, WI 11/10/2008
Columbus, OH 11/11/2008
St. Louis, MO 11/12/2008
Detroit, MI 11/13/2008
Ann Arbor, MI 11/14/2008
Boston, MA 11/16/2008
Atlanta, GA 11/17/2008
Orange County, CA 11/22/2008
Details, exact locales, and times at EvanHandler.com, under "Appearances."
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Of the 56,378,316 only a quarter are really the "base" that is uniformed, racist, inarticulate and regressive.
We need to learn to co-op the rest of them and let them see that they WILL be better off focusing on
commonalities and the common good. Remember that many very bright Republicans crossed over and
voted for Obama. Obama will show the doubters that he is inclusive and surrounded by brilliant minds.
I do agree we need to stay vigilant and keep up the ground game in anticipation of 2012.
Roll up our sleeves and get to work on CHANGE.
Great Blog, Evan.
I think Barack did very well seeing that there is still racism in this country and Barack is half black.
It was a clean and clear defeat, no question, no scandal, no late night crazy, he clearly defeated McCain by 11:00 PM on Nov. 4. I remember because I was crying so hard (of happiness) until I peed on myself.
Those people are way more than 4.6 out of 10 people I run into every day. You see, I live in small-town ruby-red Kansas, where many of the red votes come from. Some of these voters are educated, some not. Some are "low information" voters, others get 100% of their info from Rush Limbaugh, Hannity and Billo the Clown and wouldn't dream of subjecting themselves to any alternative opinion. They resist change and are suspicious of anything or anyone even remotely different. The word "progress" here is a dirty word. People complain about everything that's gone wrong and then say "....but you wouldn't vote for a Democrat, would you?" They heard that Obama's tax plan would benefit them ".....but ..........
THERE ARE NONE SO BLIND AS THOSE WHO WILL NOT SEE.
I am one of those 56 million voters who stood in line to vote AGAINST Obama. The irony of it all is, you now have the first Black President, albeit unqualified to serve in this capacity. I wont go into a tirade or go into a deep depression (Obama will cause that by raising taxes, etc). I will continue on, holding true to my conservative beliefs, clinging to my guns and religion. Paying my increased capital gains taxes. I wont mind, being self sufficient as I have my entire life. Not believing the government owes me, although I served 20 years in the Marines and am 60 percent disabled. I was proud to serve and did so honorably.
You wanted CHANGE.. you will get CHANGE. Be careful, CHANGE is NOT always a good thing as you will soon see. I believe in the balance of power, something this country will be lacking for the next four years. With NO checks and balances, you will see just how much damage the government can do by taking away your liberties.
If nothing else.. its gonna be entertaining seeing all the CHANGE that's destined to happen...
Well put!
Semper fi
first half-black president
If you voted for Bush you have no credibility. He showed himself to be intellectually incurious in 2000 and continued to be throughout his Presidency. That should have disqualified him. And, oh by the way, the inarticulate, incurious Bush is a rhodes scholar compared to Sarah Palin.
So you think the 6 years of Republican domination under Bush expressed "balance of power"? Witness the wrongheaded response to 9/11 and the nonresponse to Katrina. The deterioration of the Department of Justice, FEMA, the economy, the military, our reputation in the world. I, unlike you, do believe the government owes you if you served it in the Marines and are 60 percent disabled. You deserve the best medical care we can provide and whatever other help you need to make your life a comfortable one.
I see that you have realized that the Unifier has not done it yet! Those People who voted against Obama voted for a number of reasons, and most of them were at least as well reasoned as those who voted for Obama. In fact, I'll bet a large number voted against him because both he and many of his supporters are Socialists, and we don't believe in Socialism, seeing that it hasn't prospered anywhere! Many others voted against him because of his record of associations with people who are virulently anti-America, and have been for far longer than the Bush Administration. Others voted against him because of his anti-Constitution record (not his words). Others voted for McCain because of his record of opposing (generally) excessive bureaucracy and taxation. After all, McCain's voting record is more centrist than Obama's.
It sounds real nice to the Leftists here to call us unthinking, ignorant rubes, but the majority of you voted for Obama for no other reason than his words, which mean nothing, NOTHING! Who's the ignoramus?
Semper fi
Who's the ignoramus? Anyone who thinks Obama is a Socialist, for one.
Really? He would take from the productive to give to the non-productive. Remember his "redistribute the wealth" statements?
He would negate free speech through the use of the "Fairness Doctrine".
He wishes to, essentially, nationalize, health care.
He wishes to negate the private ballot for any worker through the "Card Check".
Those are all Socialist, anti-American, initiatives.
Semper fi
I would bet that 9 of 10 who voted for McCain could not define "Socialism" . Anti constitution? Bush wrote the book on that. You are looking at the propaganda, not the facts.
Obama has consistently voted against the Peoples' Right to keep and bear arms. He has voted consistently to allow the murder of born-alive babies. Those is the First and Second Amendments, right there! Why do you need more?
Semper fi
This is the problem. I define my views of Obama, but you lot only spout slogans! Exactly what portions of the Constitution did Bush and his Administration violate. The separation of powers? How? The Bill of Rights? Which and how?
Semper fi
You prove most of my points. I'm sorry, but your accusations are absurd.
Which accusations?
Semper fi
Who's the ignoramus?
YOU!
You are because you believe anything that Faux News and Limbaugh tell you. If you checked any facts you will have found that Obama is NOT a socialist, not even close. His "associations" that you speak of are so weak they could hardly even be called an association . Go ahead and do some real non-partisan fact checking on Ayers and you will see that is a big joke.
I voted for Obama not just because of his words. I voted for him because of his intelligence, temperment and pragmatism. Those things McCain lack, and as for that joke of a VP pick...You have GOT to be kidding me! Surely you jest.
Sure all the millions of people who voted for Obama never did any research on him and McCain and decided that Obama was a better choice. We were just all taken with "his words"...L
You certainly weren't taken by his record. He doesn't have one.
"We don't know much about Obama" Tom Browkaw (last week on Charlie Rose).
I guess you know more than the news anchor of several decades that moderated a debate with Obama.
Very well thought of. You seem to be wise beyond your years, Mr. Handler.
Crass? Ok, I'll give you that. But, I'm on the way out the door in search of a Republican man. If that's what it takes to ensure that we won't have to put up with another Bush or wannabe McCain for a few years (like maybe 50) I'm on my way. My husband won't mind in the least - it's for a good cause.
Enjoyed the blog. Thanks. TA
true, puzzling, by like it or not, we avoided idiocracy
Actually, the 4.6 to 10 does not quite compute. Most people in my county voted blue this year. It's unlikely I'll run into too many reds. But, yeah, the sheer number of low-info voters is SCARY!
Out of almost 110 million votes, Obama won by about 5 million. That sounds like 4.6 out of ten to me. Why does it not compute for you?
Semper fi
Beretta, most here wont understand the Semper Fi comment. Coming from a retired
Marine, Happy Birthday next Monday!! Semper Fi. I always take that day off to reflect and celebrate. I am a little down since the election, but come Monday I will be invigorated!!
I will happily cling to my guns and religion..
Well actually 4.6 out of 10 is wrong. 56 million out of 300 million (total pop, if you're talking about people walking around, rather than just the voting population, which is about 130 million) = 18%, or 1.8 persons out of 10. Better?
You've done the math, right? You should have stuck with 46% Republican to 54% Democrat, because your number equates to one-tenth of a percent advantage to Obama.
Semper fi
BUT over 64M people of all ages, races, religious persuasions and sexes, went together and in a majority voted for Obama. That is almost a miracle in itself!! 64 MILLION AMERICANS came together and together we did it! No one age, or gender, or race, or religious persuasion could do it alone, but all 64MILLION could. That is the part that makes me cry...we connected and did it!
I cried too... but for a different reason. That 64 million people voted for CHANGE. CHANGE to the constitution, change to redistributing MY wealth, change to being more concerned how the world sees US instead of focusing on protecting our sovereignty, change to spending trillions of dollars on global warming programs, change to bankrupting the coal industry, change to weakening the military, change to MORE government in your lives. I am going to run out of space here. I need 100GBites. Yes CHANGE is coming..OM
It's hard to imagine that many people actually believed Sarah Palin was ready to become president, because that is really what you had to accept in order to vote for McCain.I'm not sure how you turn that thought process, or lack of as the case may be, around.
We just have to be eternally thanful to those who used their heads, and kept the country from being pushed the rest of the way off of the cliff we're dangling on.
All Americans should hope for a very successful Obama presidency, because our very existence as a great nation depends on it at this dark hour. If any McCain supporter is wishing for an Obama failure, they're wishing for the country to fail as well.
A successful Obama administration, and not bjs (although that was quite humorous) should be enough to bring them around. Of course, should those hot liberal ladies decide to take your advice, I'll see if I can find a McCain button somewhere to wear. ;)
Sarah Palin is much more qualified to be the POTUS of the U.S.A. than Mr. Obama. She has actually managed two governments. Both the city of Wasilla, and the state of Alaska are communities. Sarah Palin managed the day to day operation of both of these communities. She has actual first hand experience of how to successfully manage a government with executive, legislative, and judicial branches. And Barack's comparable experience: he knows how to vote PRESENT.
Sarah Palin has first hand experience dealing with members of the opposition party. Barack has only surrounded himself with people that share his beliefs.
Barack's is a better orator than Sarah Palin. But that single attribute does not qualify him to be the POTUS.
Thank you! Gays and Lesbians all over the US are swallowing a bitter sweat pill. Gays and Lesbians held the gay political agenda back to avoid the republican's from using the gay agenda as a distraction this time around.
What makes me confused and angry is that gay marriage and adoption failed in many states. At least some of the so-called progressive democrats had to have voted against the glbt right to live in and contribute to society as equals. What the frack? I mean seriously, WTF?
If you think voting one black man into the presidency is progressive, think again. Gays still can’t marry or adopt. There will continue to be a disproportionate number of people of color in prison. Illegal immigrants will continue to be exploited to care for the family values lifestyle. Children in foster care will continue to struggle to receive a basic level of care. Dads will still abandon their family responsibilities. Children of single parents will still be hungry in school. AIDS will be continue to be under funded.
When Barac Obama said yes we can, he meant all of us need to step up and make changes in the way we function in society. He did not mean vote for me and I will fix it all for you.
Exactly right, glenb!
The election of Senator Obama, as he said, only means we all have the opportunity to Change the path of self destruction we are on. The massive problems to be laid in his lap January 20th would make a lesser person hand the job back. President Obama will need ALL Americans to pitch in and accept that pointing fingers won't keep America from being the next fall of a powerful country.
When ONE HALF of the nation voted to oppose the election of President-Elect Obama, that's a VERY BIG problem. Only a new sense of purpose and patriotism can save us, and I hope every Obama supporter will extend a hand across "the aisle" and try to heal the anger and division this campaign has created.
This Is OUR Time - This Is OUR Moment.
President-Elect of the United States of America
Barack Hussein Obama II
Wow, I agree with you. I rarely agree with someone here. But I have a question. You say, "Only a new sense of purpose and patriotism can save us, and I hope every Obama supporter will extend a hand across "the aisle" and try to heal the anger and division this campaign has created." You folks have vilified, calumniated, slandered, threatened, hung in effigy, etc., Republicans for the last 8 years. You have slung mud at the word "patriotism". Exactly how do you think Democrats can possibly convince Republican
Semper fi
I could not understand California could vote for Obama, and yet approved Prop 8. Were the same people voting?
Yup. The very same African-Americans that swept Obama into office also swept gay marriage out.
Evan
It is possible that the people you speak of aren't idiots.
Sometimes, people just disagree. It doesn't have to mean that everyone who disagrees with you is an idiot. It is possible that they have different values and priorities. They might have a different vision for what it is to be American and for the way in which the country handles its affairs.
Maybe you should practice the time honored liberal traditions of open-mindedness and tolerance.
Republicans are entitled to their simple, elegant market fundamentalist ideology that sounds so virtuous on the stump. I just wish they'd acknowledge the preponderance of evidence that it doesn't work.
Most Democrats don't know what kind of policy framework America needs to get back on track. But at least we know that the current approach doesn't work and won't ever work. At least we know that we have to change course.
So many Republicans want a world that matches their ideology. What we need is an ideology that matches our world. Let's try a reality-based approach, okay?
It works in both theory and practice, and it always has. Republicans have not been practicing their fundamental governing principles over the past eight years. Hopefully, they will take a moment to reflect and recalibrate for 2012.
Skel...I have open-mindedness and tolerance, and an understanding that others have different values and priorities. What I have no patience for are those who try to advance those different agendas via lies, purposefully misleading propaganda, fear mongering, the spewing of hatred and prejudice, and an overtly fascist, incremental squashing of the individual in favor of an all-powerful executive branch of government, working in collusion with corporate interests. And I don't have much patience for those who'll vote for those who collect and wield power that way, just because they share "values" and priorities. So, I appreciate your sentiments. But I politely decline, this time, to share any sympathy.
Bravo!
Your piece wasn't aimed at the Bush administration, it was aimed at the people who voted for McCain.
I think we have proved that we ARE evolving. Maybe just a little.
(And that one part WAS crass....)
I like yer style, Evan, but we already know what'll happen during good times under a Democratic President; they'll still squeal about what an *&$#*! he is, and try to drum up a Whitewater scandal with one'o them special prosecutors to hound him. Remember, Country First!
they will use rezco, wright, Daly, ayres and the chicago fire. and it will be Obama's fault because the accusers say so.
That was sufficient warning during the election. Those of us who voted against Obama went by his record, his associates and his policy. It's no witch hunt. Now that we know who the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers is, we'll watch him closely while he's in office.
I've been wondering the same thing.. what is motivating these people that are so violently against him? The mixture of feelings towards this election is brewing up something very dark. Maybe the "doomsday" in 2012 is really the worst of us coming out and we push the red button on ourselves. Eek.
...what motivated 90%+ blacks to vote for Obama? You can not tell me it was his policies, his stand on abortion, his position on Israel...I
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