I Am He as You Are He as You Are Me and We Are All Together

I've heard a loud public outcry from prominent gay Americans about the passage of Proposition 8, but not as much from the so called "straight" community. I think it needs to be said as loudly as possible, by as many people as possible: the passage of Proposition 8 in California is an embarrassment to, and an indictment of, all Americans.

Let's get clarity right away: Denying any Americans any rights that other Americans hold is discrimination. Period. It doesn't matter whether the discrimination is motivated by morality, or religious beliefs, or a Ouija board, it's still discrimination. And that makes it illegal. (And that comes after the fact that it's wrong.) It should be clear to everyone (or made clear to them) that it puts us all in danger of the same kind of discrimination being pointed our way the moment someone decides we're on the wrong side of their moral or religious measurements.

So, what to do about a situation in which more than 50% of the voters choose to sanction discrimination? I don't think the answer is terribly exotic (I love you Michael Patrick King, and I loved your piece, but I don't think the cage bit will do the trick; they'd like to see you in a cage). Discrimination has been overcome before, and the route toward redemption this time, I'm guessing, will be the same.

First, everyone who finds this discrimination to be an outrage (and everyone should) needs to get on board in fighting it. And then, as a group, we need to impress upon the slightly larger group of voters how important we all are to them, and how much they'd miss us if we were gone. In other words, start withholding business from those who don't get it. From this moment forward, all anti-discrimination Americans should take their weddings out of California. No honeymoons in California, either. I'm sorry to suggest divvying up the world this way, but some research needs to be done in terms of which hotel chains, flower distributors, gift outlets, and departments stores (and which of their owners and board members) supported or resisted the passage of the measure, and steps need to be taken to punish those who fought against equal rights for all, or didn't fight hard enough in defense of them.

If you happen to know particular businesses in-state who stand on the right side of equal rights measures, then by all means, throw business their way. My point is that it's time for all enlightened citizens to stand beside, around, between, and in formation with those who are being denied the rights we've all earned, and are entitled to. A threat (and an insult) to one is an insult to all. It's time to push back hard. Not as a minority group fighting for equal rights, but as a massive spending block of multi-colored Americans, aware that any discrimination is an unacceptable infringement on all of our rights to live in a free -- and equal -- society.

Comments

[KarateKid]

Discrimination of any sort is SHAMEFUL and un-American. Just when we begin to get out of one form, another ugly one raises its head.

[Thad]

The "no weddings or honeymoons" thing works for California, and maybe Florida, but I'm from Arizona -- we're not exactly a vacation destination.

And I LIVE here; I can't really boycott the local economy. I'd love to, say, move to Massachusetts or Connecticut and start spending my money there; if anyone has a job offer for programming or IT I'm willing to move. But in the meantime, I'm not sure what I can do other than complain that this is a travesty.

One way or another, I'd like to help, but I don't know where to start.

[MichelleB]

FWD:

Dear [[First Name]],
The overwhelming amount of anger and sadness at our loss on Proposition 8 on November 4 is now turning into action at Equality California.
First of all, we are crafting a strategy to overturn this outrageous loss of our rights. Equality California, represented by NCLR, ACLU, Lambda Legal and Munger, Tolles, Olson has filed a suit with the California Supreme Court asking that the election—the result of outrageous lies and questionable tactics by the other side, be thrown out. We know our rights cannot be taken away by a mob vote.

It is very important for all of us to ensure our actions result in a victory in the court—our best chance to reverse the elimination of our rights as soon as possible. So gatherings of everyone who supports justice and equality sends an important message to the court that there IS popular support for marriage equality in California. Join your community in peaceful marches and gatherings around the state.

Second, you can also help by signing our petition saying "I demand my equality back" and that you commit to getting marriage equality back on the ballot if we don't win in court.
Third, send the petition to everyone you know. We will need over one million valid signatures to put a new measure on the ballot and we need everyone to agree to carry petitions.

In Solidarity,

Geoff Kors
Executive Director
Equality California

[TRYKER]

Thank you Evan, right on.

This must be unconstitutional, it probably doesn't have a long shelf life.
Its as good a time as any to get the awakening for all our religious "botherers" ...they've run rough shod over our country for long ENOUGH.
Its just another thing that we have had enough of. Like torture. Like police state. Like prisoner class. Like GITMO. Like poverty.
This uprising isn't just to elect Obama and go home. This is the first step on our forward journey...­to clean up this govt, to regulate and oversee and enforce...­to bring to justice...­.
and to care for the least us of.
Hang in there, it will be all right.

[abmabardy]

Straight, white, Christian female here. I abhor all discrimination, and was an activist against racial discrimination back in the day.

All marriages should be civil and legal. Additional ceremonies e.g. religious are the ONLY place where churches, synagogues, mosques, etc. should have a voice. I remember when interracial marriage was illegal in CA. All the same arguments being used now were being used then. I do not believe you can ever convince a bigot that he is a bigot, which is why the change has to come through the courts.

BTW, since religious organizations have decided to throw their influence into the civil realm, THEY SHOULD ALL PAY TAXES.

The Mormon Church in particular should be held accountable for its heavy financial sponsorship of this discriminatory amendment (prop 8). Is there any way to boycott industries headed by Mormons?

[TrnsNtnl]

Hopefully with the Obama presidency we can finally come down on the churches being investigated for being political pulpits while being tax exempt. There was a press to do something about the politicization of churches near the end of the Clinton years but the Bush administration wiped that plan out completely so the number of political churches grew and grew. The ideology has a sever impact on public policy as it seams very evident here with prop 8 among other examples.

Plus down with hate no on 8. Legal gender discrimination what? Who?

[AnotherTry]

Don't count on it. Obama supports faith based initiatives and wants to give even more tax dollars to churches. Obama is the problem folks, like or not.

[Adonia]

What you folks don't really like is the actual "will of the people". You need some court some where to impose YOUR will on the rest of the nation. Where is the discrimination? California already has that "partnership" law that gives gays and lesbians the same rights as married couples,dosen't it? This Proposition was DEMOCRACY in action . You just don't like the result.

[abmabardy]

Not at all.

The will of the majority does not establish law. The US Constitution provides for and protects the rights of ALL Americans, including minorities, through the courts. What if the majority suddenly decided it did not want to allow interracial marriage or integrated schools? In fact, that WAS the will of the majority a few decades ago, and it was struck down by the courts.

Partnership laws and civil unions do not provide equal rights for gay Americans. There are thousands of federal and state laws not granted by such unions.

You may or may not remember a while back when the same argument was used against AAs. "What's the problem with separate drinking fountains? Water is water. And so what if you go to a segrated school as long as the books are the same?" Separate but equal is not equal.

When the "majority" did not want it that way, the courts stepped in to guarantee right for minorities, as it must do now. Get it?

[Smith808]

If this "partnership" were the same, why don't YOU opt for it? There are 1200 legal differences between marriage and domestic partnership, most of which have to do with property and taxation. The discrimination lies in the exclusion of an entire class of people by a majority. In America, this doesn't stick...th­e courts will settle this with principles of reason and justice, not religion.

[Smith808]

If you feel this is "democracy in action," let's put your right to keep your marriage on a ballot and let everyone on this blog decide your fate... or would you not trust us to make this decision for you?

[MollyMal]

Adonia, a bit of reflection on the "will of the people".

The majority of the American people were, at different points in history, opposed to ending slavery, granting women the right to vote, integration, legalizing interracial marriage, and fighting Hitler.

[sophiemn]

partnerships do not have legal parity with marriages, there are numerous rights and are left out.

If they were identical, then I think a battle over a word might be best left to fight some other day, in practicality.

pure majority-rules DEMOCRACY to determine people's rights is a tyrrany of the majority. Anyone unpopular or in a minority of ANY kind is subject to being voted out of rights and even out of existence in this kind of system. This shouldn't be up for ANY vote, any more than "should Jews be allowed to marry." After all, I could convert, if I wanted, and no one can tell just by looking at me.

[Zubeck]

Evan = My new favorite guy for today. Concise, well written.

[7t]

So is any web-savvy person/people really organizing something? A hub, a place we can list businesses that are against civil rights?

I know there are LGBT legal advocates out there, but I'm talking about people who want a grassroots, in-your-face kind of revolution. Civil rights are for everyone!

[provgrays]

The very complex problem is that marriage between people of the same sex is not the same as other rights such as freedom of speech and the rest of the Bill of Rights. It is not an indictment of all Americans if some believe that marriage is exclusively for a man and a woman.

Let's extend your case. I'm not wealthy. Others are wealthy and I demand my right to wealth too. It doesn't wash. That doesn't mean that gays and lesbians don't deserve compassion because they do. Many states recognize civil unions and afford many of the legal rights, health benefits for partners and other factors, but the people of California decided that marriage for same sex couples was not what they wanted.

I'm not saying I have the answer because I don't, but in a democracy, the will of the many prevails over the minority. You have the right to keep fighting for same sex marriage, but issues this significant are seldom won easily.You have every right to continue your fight and others have the right to disagree. You don't get your way for the asking.

[7t]

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.­"

If you read the rest of it, you'll see that the Declaration of Independence was concerned with safeguarding these rights against a government that sought to deny or abridge these rights. Nothing about 'we the people' being allowed to deny anyone those unalienable rights.

Unalienable rights are the ones that do prevail over the will of the majority. Otherwise blacks would still be uneducated slaves, women would still be property, and people of different races would be unable to marry.

Unalienable rights. If you want them for yourself, then get off thehypocrisy horse and fight for the unalienable rights of all of us.

[JWoode]

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that the right kind of men are created equal, that they are endowed by their majority with certain superior Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, but only if we approve it."

There.. fixed that for you to be true today.

[provgrays]

I don't see the right to same sex marriage in the Bill of Rights or anywhere in the Constitution. It's quite a stretch to interpret the document as providing the right to same sex marriage as an "inalienable right".

Maybe that right will be included in the Constitution some day if enough people want it. I agree that the rights of the minority should not be trampled, but the rights of the majority, in turn, cannot be quashed by minority interests either.

Same sex marriage is ultimately a states rights issue anyway and the people of California expressed their will on the matter, at least for the time being.

[abmabardy]

"the will of the many prevails over the minority."

not if it violates a citizens rights as guaranteed by the Constitution and enforced by the courts which are there PRECISELY to (among other things) protect the rights of minorities (who, by definition, cannot secure enough votes to vote themselves rights).

[jacqmac]

NO--we DON'T GET OUR WAY BY 'ASKING'. We are CURRENTLY DEMANDING!!
'THE PEOPLE of CALIFORNIA' DID NOT DECIDE that 'marriage for same sex couples was not what they wanted.' They voted 'YES' for any number of reasons. The poor wording of the Prop., the FEAR of being struck dead by the hand of a vengeful GOD if they didn't vote Yes, the FACT that their minister/priest TOLD THEM TO DO SO. "THE PEOPLE" of Mississippi didn't want Medgar Evers in
'their' University. "THE PEOPLE" of Alabama didn't want to allow ALL of their citizens to VOTE. "THE PEOPLE" of SEVERAL states didn't even want PRESIDENT-ELECT OBAMA'S mother and father to WED!
"Separate, but equal" AIN'T NEVER EQUAL "NO ONE IS FREE UNTIL WE ARE ALL FREE!"
This issue is 'significant' only to certain RELIGIOUS groups that believe GOD will strike them DEAD in an instant if they PRACTICE WHAT THEY PREACH!!

[HWBII]

And another thing.... boycott Utah! That's where the money came from. Memorize the Mormon business list, and forget about skiing there this year.

[Ahmah]

I am a Connecticut resident who gave money to defeat this thing. EVERYONE needs to stand up for ALL our fellow citizens and smack back on this HARD! Boycott any companies who supported this horror, push that the tax exempt status of the Churchs (esp. Mormon) be challenged and get out there and make more people aware of how their vote or apathy on this is affecting real Americans! This was a travesty and my heart breaks for everyone affected. How can you watch and love people like Ellen, listen to singers like Melissa and actors and actresses too numerous to name and not want them to have the same rights? Shame! Get off your butts and act America!

[AbrahamSadegh]

"Man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains," wrote the 18 century French political philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau. The chains are ideas and concepts inherited from the past and applied mindlessly even when the realities of time have proven them incorrect and unjust.

It is inconceivable to believe that someone whose so called sexual orientation is in all honesty that of a bisexual, gay, lesbian, or straight to pretend to be so just to make life hell for itself (himself/herself)! It is time for all of us to leave the variations in human sexuality in peace and once and for all leave consensual adults who wish to share a life together alone regardless of what the adherents to a particular religion or philosophy consider unacceptable.

It is time for us instead concentrate on those aspects of human behavior that are truly detrimental to ultimate welfare of our society. Let me be more precise:

I would rather be “bisexual” than to violate the public trust as a public servant regardless of the position to which I might have been elected;

I would rather be “gay” than to violate the public trust with the public resources at my disposal to be used for the good of all;

I would rather be a “lesbian” than to put one innocent life in harm’s way and react, for example, with the word "So!" when I am told that 4,000 Americans have lost their lives.

Oppression, by the way, is worst than death.

[dac253]

I'm straight and I told all my friends in California to vote against this horsesh*t, but it passed anyway. Dammt California! you sure know how to spoil a historic day in politics.
They also screwed up Prop 5 and 7, but I digress.

Back in '06 they tried to amend the U.S. constitution and there were 2 Republican senators that stood up against it, Arlen Spector and John McCain.

Good luck in court, my gay brothers and sisters.

[Paprikapink]

I agree with this wholeheartedly. "Liberty and justice for all" has got to truly mean "all," or truly, it means nothing. In one way, it's similar to issues affecting schools, education, and childcare. Maybe you don't have kids...but you're going to be alive in the next 10 or 20 years, dontcha think? Those other people's kids are going to be your neighbors, your bankers, your cops, your bosses....­You may not want to marry a person of the same sex, but maybe your neighbor does, or your nephew, or your daughter. This proposition affects everyone.

[kylennblack]

I'm straight and I'm outraged at Proposition 8 and all the other discriminatory laws passed against gays and lesbians. It's a violation of EVERYONE'S civil rights and it diminishes us all.

"in solidarity, i will not be visiting or spending any money in ca or on ca products."

Same. I won't be vacationing in CA or purchasing CA products. I rarely go to movies anymore but I certainly won't be seeing any cranked out from Hollywood. Family and friends won't be getting any California wines for gifts this year.

[CowboyDenver]

Well as long as their cows are happy....

[FearlessFreep]

Are you willing to boycott Florida, Arizona and Arkansas too?

[DMHopper]

Most California wine comes from Napa, Sonoma, and Santa Barbara counties, and if you look at the how the vote on Prop 8 broke down by county, the majority in all three of those counties voted against Prop 8 (source: http://www.latimes.com/news/local/politics/cal/la-2008election-california-results,0,1293859.htmlstory?view=8&tab=0&fnum=0 ). So just don't buy the stuff that comes from Lodi.