The below is a joint piece by Evan Wolfson and Aubrey Sarvis. Evan Wolfson is founder and President of Freedom to Marry, the campaign to win marriage nationwide. Aubrey Sarvis is an Army Veteran and Executive Director of Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN)
Earlier this month, First Lady Michelle Obama and Dr. Jill Biden hosted an afternoon tea at the White House to recognize military mothers and wives. The celebration on Military Spouse Appreciation Day and Mother's Day was part of their Joining Forces initiative, which asks all American citizens to take action and make a real commitment to supporting our military families.
Individuals, organizations, and policymakers from both sides of the aisle are doing much to support our troops. But there is more to be done - including providing basic equal treatment to the families of gay and lesbian service members.
On Monday, America will observe the first Memorial Day since repeal of the discriminatory 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' law. Gay and lesbian patriots serving in the Armed Forces now may do so openly, without the burden of silence that dishonored them, their loved ones, and our country. But as long as the so-called Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is on the books, our service members are still are not treated equally, and their families are denied important protections afforded to all others.
DOMA, enacted in 1996, departs from more than 200 years of tradition in which the federal government respected the lawful marriages that take place in the states, which issue marriage licenses. Because of the 'gay exception' created by DOMA, America's legally married gay and lesbian couples are denied more than 1,100 federal responsibilities and protections triggered by marriage, including Social Security benefits, the ability to pool resources without adverse tax treatment, family unity under immigration laws, and access to health coverage and pensions. For gay and lesbian service members, DOMA means they and their families are denied equal access to housing, health care, and survivors' benefits - just to name a few. And because of DOMA, their employer - the military - is prevented from doing what it knows is best for unit cohesion and morale, which is to treat all personnel and their families fairly and equally.
Even while gay and lesbian service members bravely and loyally serve our country, many of them in harm's way, they do not have the same peace of mind that comes with knowing their family is being supported and taken care of back home. When a gay or lesbian service member is injured or killed in action, their spouse is refused the kind of support and coverage provided others who are married; often their spouses are not the first to be notified, because, under DOMA, their marriage is not respected.
When President Obama described the journey of understanding that led him to change his mind and support the freedom to marry, he spoke about the conversations that had opened his heart. Some were with Michelle and their daughters, talking about classmates and their gay parents, and the values of fairness such as the Golden Rule. And some of the conversations the President invoked were the stories service members and their families had shared. The President said:
"When I think about those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors who are out there fighting on my behalf and yet, feel constrained, even now that Don't Ask, Don't Tell is gone, because they're not able to commit themselves in a marriage...it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that-- I think same-sex couples should be able to get married."
Following the lead of the First Lady and Dr. Biden, as Americans continue to look for ways to honor and support our military families, one important action they can take is to urge Congress to pass the Respect for Marriage Act, which would repeal DOMA and get the country back to treating marriages - and those who are married - equally.
Lower court rulings have held DOMA unconstitutional, and under Attorney General Eric Holder, the Department of Justice has determined that the law is, per the Constitution's command of equal protection, indefensible. It is time for Congress to act.
This Memorial Day, as we remember those who have paid the ultimate price for our freedom, let's also remember the additional price that our gay and lesbian service members and their families pay every day they serve our country under discriminatory law. Let's join forces, take action and make a real commitment to supporting these brave Americans and their families.
Government has no business putting obstacles in the path of those seeking to protect their loved ones, especially when they are the ones defending our country. In the military and throughout America, it is time to end marriage discrimination.
Follow Evan Wolfson on Twitter: www.twitter.com/freedomtomarry
Lyle Denniston: Constitution Check: If DOMA Falls, Must States Opposing Gay Marriages Accept Them?
Military chaplains are officers commissioned by the government and endorsed by their respective faith groups. Â As such, they wear two hats -- one answerable to the military's chain of command, and the other accountable to their particular endorsing agency. Â Chaplains have a sworn duty to secure the free exercise of religion for all of their troops, either performing or providing for the diversity of religious needs of America's service members. Â By their very nature, military chaplains are pluralistic in their ministries and inclusive in their sphere of influence. Â Nothing in the repeal language of DA/DT requires chaplains to violate their religious beliefs and faith commitments, though the entrenched opponents of open service insist the religious freedom of chaplains is under attack. Â Nothing could be further from the truth. Â Let's be clear-- no military chaplain will be required to officiate at same sex marriages. Â However, they may be expected to refer enquirers to chaplains who are welcoming and affirming of their LGB troops, and who are now permitted to perform those rites when requested. Â
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`No State, territory, or possession of the United States, or Indian tribe, shall be required to give effect to any public act, record, or judicial proceeding of any other State, territory, possession, or tribe respecting a relationship between persons of the same sex that is treated as a marriage under the laws of such other State, territory, possession, or tribe, or a right or claim arising from such relationship.'
That right there recognizes that marriage is a public act, recorded, and a judicial proceeding. That right there gives permission for states, etc., to ignore the Constitution - and does so without amending the constitution. That right there inserts an exception to the constitution, where none existed before.
And what I find MOST offensive? That people think that marriage is not marriage unless it is their heterosexually acceptable kind of marriage.
Marriage is a man-made institution. Always has been. Always will be.
I do not understand how the GOTP can talk about patriotism while they defend DOMA in court. How hypocritical of them to force GLBT tax paying Americans, risking their lives every day I might add, to live sans 1138 basic rights and protections. It's a national disgrace and it needs to stop.
The wonderful thing about this country is that such matters can be decided by the people in their own due course by means already established in the Constitution. I disagree with part of Obama's stance and cannot support the notion of same sex marriage, but I do agree with him that it should be left up to the several states, just as the Constitution provides.
In any case, if I choose to live my life with someone I love, even if I choose not to enter into a covenant of marriage, I would want to have some legal way to have certain guarantees under the law such as notifications, medical choices, etc. In fact there are many heterosexual couples who choose to live their lives together in a committed relationship but as a matter of conscience choose not to enter into marriage. These couples suffer from the same kind of severance issues described in this article. Surely the law could provide for such.
We do not have the choice. That's the point. That is why we are arguing for marriage equality.
If it is a matter of conscience for you, I am perplexed as to how your conscience will allow fellow citizens to be treated unequally under the law. I understand that your conscience might not allow you to marry a person of the same gender, but how can it be conscionable to deny others that choice?
Please re-think your attitude.
It's discouraging to hear this phrase being endlessly parroted. Freedom in the United States rests on the Constitution. That document has never been under threat by a foreign power. And certainly not in the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq.
There have been many reasons that the United States has gone to war. But not since the War of 1812 has a foreign army entrenched itself on U.S. soil, and even then, the aim of the British was not to conquer the nation or overthrow our freedoms, but to win a trade war.
Even WWII was fought not to protect the U.S. Constitution, but to defend our allies from fascist domination, to protect U.S. shipping and trade, and to avenge Pearl Harbor.
It's time to stop glorifying war by pretending that the U.S. fights "to protect our freedoms." The U.S. fights wars to protect the interests of its ruling class, the war profiteers, and the power-hungry politicians.
The American people are facing the erosion of our civil liberties by their own government. That is the real threat to our Constitution. The fight to protect our freedoms is right here at home.
There was never a time when it was more important for us to face and tell the truth.
As a vet, my only care was also that he/she had my back...not his/her sexual orientation. But as a father, my scope of concerns has expanded considerably. And other things do matter.
As a grandmother, I can't imagine what you're talking about. I'd worry a lot more about the men in my granddaughter's unit than about the women.