The Gift Paul Newman Gave Me

I write from Bukavu, Congo.

Paul Newman -- here's what he and Joanne gave me and I suspect many in the world -- the gift of confidence.

They were the perfect parents. I was 23. I was depressed and fragile and hardly here in this world. I was writing and writing as a way of survival. They took me under their wing. They pushed me and fed me and criticized my script with red pencils, they nurtured me and encouraged me to be funny. To always be funny. But mainly, they believed in me.

They seriously believed in me and because of this I came to believe in myself. They never asked for credit. They did not hold on after I had found myself. They did not curtail my independence. They have reappeared at all the crucial moments in my life in the many years that followed. They have always been in my corner.

Here's what they taught me. Generosity. They taught me that if you have or make money, you are not special, just lucky. They taught me to never make people beg or jump through hoops because that implies you have a hoop and you do not have a hoop, you have money.

They taught me that the only real happiness comes from giving. And because they lived everything they spoke, they taught me about integrity.

I can't imagine this world without Paul Newman. But I know his generosity, his gift of confidence lives surely in many of us and if there is a way to appreciate him, it is in giving deeper and deeper.

Eve Ensler is a Playwright (The Vagina Monologues) and Founder of V-Day, the global movement to end violence against women and girls.

Comments

[lisakaz2]

Great tribute. I just saw the old video of Paul Newman from "What's My Line?" It did me good to see him as a young, vital (and very handsome) man. He was a real star and a real guy's guy AND a good person. My condolences to all those who are missing their friend. I can only wish I had had the privilege.

[babyboomreview]

Paul Newman will be remembered warmly as not just a great actor. Will his memory and this great tribute to Newman and his values help take the media's attention away from the glittering prizes and the glamor that comes with fame? Will the current financial meltdown remind people that it is helping others and what you leave behind that matters? Not the glitter?

Who will join the movement that Newman and his wife started towards a more humane attitude to life?

I will be writing more about the Newman legacy on my blog to be found at
www. babyboomreview.com.

[LanaL]

Eve, this is the most moving tribute to Paul Newman that I have seen. Thank you so much for sharing your memories and the lessons that he and Joanna taught you. They are lessons that we should all live by. I'm truly sorry for the loss of this great human being, especially for those of you who knew and loved him on such a deep, personal level. He is missed.

[GoCards1978]

Paul Newman was a mench, if there ever was one. I know his legacy will continue in perpetuity. Thank goodness he was lucky enough to pass it on to as many people as possible. I pray for Joanne, his children and grandchildren, and all who were fortunate enough to have known him.

[thegirlnextdoor]

Admist all the financial and political news - this is the real story. This is the jewel. Thank you so much!

[FirstShirt]

He was a classic. A strong democrat who never debased himself like so many of the partisan actors do today.

He will be missed.

[CriticalDune]

Thank you for sharing this. Grace, character, and style. Timeless and rare.

[All in All]

Well said, indeed!

I've had the chance to watch some of Paul Newman's past Interviews, now, and I would & will say that Mr.Paul Newman had a GREAT Philosophy & Ideology!

I must Smile when & while I remember Mr.Paul Newman.

[Clem2]

There are few people in the world who make such a difference, such a positive difference. I am saddened that he has left us and offer you my condolences.

He really is/was/will continue to be an inspiration for his acting, his generosity, for the wonderful human being that he was.

[Mitchell4A]

We remember Paul Newman today as a distinguished actor, philanthropist, committed progressive, and a truly decent soul. And on this day after his passing, his unique career does us an additional service. It helps us to understand why Obama won the debate and why he is going to win the election. As everyone knows, Paul Newman had a one in million smile, and he would certainly be flashing one now if he knew that he had made this contribution.

"Why Obama and Paul Newman won the Debate"
http://msa4.wordpress.com/

[ranchobob]

thank you for this.
We need people like them in abundance.
I always feel good buying his products
not mention super talented and just plain beautiful both of them.

[Mikecoatl]

Sweet post.

Rest in Peace, Cool Hand Luke....

[lessbs]

Eve:

Beautiful epitaph. Mr. Newman inspired many of us in various ways. The true joy of giving is something he and Ms. Woodward taught the rest of the world through example.

I live in Seattle and see the pent up desire to "do as he did". The Bill and Melinda Gates foundation is in the formative stages of development here, and there are literally thousands of resumes being submitted for every opening. The world is not as selfish as one would think - the criminals that have been in power in the US have not destroyed the greatness of this country that the Newman's represented.

The glorification of greed by the mass media seems to continue to grow and is a cancer in our society. The Newman's fought against this for most of their lives. The "Wealthiest people in America", "Most expensive houses", etc seems to be what it takes to get ratings or sell publications. What about a publication that glorifies giving; philanthropy; the way we live our lives, helping others as you are doing in the Congo? You have the literary ability and contacts to pull it off. If it were successful and could have an impact on the selfishness that is being glorified in America, it could be the greatest gift that could be given to Mr. Newman's memory.

[BurtR]

Among other movies, Mr and Mrs Bridge is pure genius. He could do anything.

[knowBuddhaU]

O sister my Sister Eve, you yourself have inspired me. Your skill with dramaturgy, the transformative power of narrative and metaphor, heals us from within.

What do you think of the present abuse of mythology, of mythic symbols and narratives, for political purposes just like Goering & Goebbels? Do you see how the Am Psychological Assoc. may have been involved in weaponizing mythology itself?

Did you know that Joseph Campbell lectured at the Foreign Services Institute, beginning in 1957? And of course, you see the legion of Sith Lords, as Iglesias called them, now occupying our temples of democracy and Justice, many of whom we're in Nixon's camp?

We're being myth-jacked to hell, and stuck with the bill, as a matter of policy, I say.

O sister my Sister, you high priestess of Art you, I bow in your virtual direction. And next time you talk to Sister Amy, tell her I say hello (she and I met at the Green Festival in Seattle).