Have you heard the rumor that sex in marriage is boring? Well, that's not the case in my 11-year marriage, and it doesn't have to be for yours either. One of the beautiful things about being with the same partner for so long is you are able to explore each other's bodies and its many changes over time.
Don't settle for a ho-hum sex life in your marriage. Here are five quick ways to get your sexy back.
1. Hold that kiss just a little longer. If you've been married a while, you might be tempted to give your spouse a peck on the lips and continue on with your day. Instead of giving each other the obligatory "I love you" kiss, intentionally lock lips just a little longer. Science shows a passionate kiss releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter, causing your spouse to crave you like a drug. I can't think of a better addiction than making love to my husband.
2. Give some vitamin F2 every day. Life coach Maggie Reyes, coined this term for the daily vitamin your marriage needs for perfect health. What is vitamin F2, you ask? A little bit of flirting and fun. Maggie says:
Think of marriage like a marathon -- it's long, you will get tired and you need the water of motivation to keep you going. Laughing together and keeping that spark of flirtatious love alive will add a little joy to every day -- even the hard ones.
3. Get your flirt on. Send a sexy text suggesting what is in store for your spouse tonight. Stick a love note in her bag before she leaves for work. Flash him as he's walking out the door so that visual stays with him until he sees you again. Foreplay should begin well before the lights are turned off.
4. Consider purchasing some lingerie. I'm the first one to admit that lingerie is not my thing. I find most of it too tight, too short, too itchy and too everything else. However, I have come to see the benefits of it when it comes to keeping the sexy in marriage. It took many years (ahem... eight to be exact) but I finally found some lingerie that serves as both eye candy to my husband and feels comfortable for me.
5. Play the hot and cold game. Over the years, what arouses you will change. Something that turned you on last month could very quickly turn you off this one. Stay calm... don't panic. That doesn't mean the spark is gone. It could simply mean it's time for a new exploratory mission. Help your spouse explore your body and vice versa, by playing the "hot and cold" game. The rules are simple. When your spouse does something that feels great, say "hot!" You and your spouse both have body maps that lead to a land of great pleasure. Today is as good a day as any to begin rediscovering each other once again.
Fawn Weaver is the New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage.
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