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Tom Matlack: The Modern Abolitionist Movement: Putting An End To Sex Slavery In America

2011-05-18T17:36:23Z

The Good Men Project interviews a special agent with Homeland Security Investigations about sex slavery in the U.S. -- which is far more common than most people think.

The promise that we're working to effectuate is actually the 13th Amendment promise that no one in the United States shall be subjected to involuntary servitude. It doesn't matter whether that's in a farm, in a brothel, or as a domestic servant. If somebody is being forced to work against their will, if they're trapped, can't get out, then that it is somebody who would be considered a victim of modern slavery.
-Ambassador-at-Large Luis CdeBaca, Director, Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons, U.S. State Department

We have written extensively about the many facets of the sex industry, making clear that there is indeed room for many points of view when it comes toÂ porn,Â stripping, and evenÂ prostitution. But now I am going to talk about an under-reported problem that is less morally ambiguous: sexual slavery.

Sex trafficking within the U.S. is legally defined as commercial sex acts induced by force, fraud, or coercion or commercial sex acts in which the individual induced to perform commercial sex has not attained 18 years of age. The average age of entry into the commercial sex industry in the U.S. is between 12 to 14 years old.

The federal law is very clear on this issue:Â Trafficking Victims Protection Act of 2000, theÂ Trafficking Victims Protection Reauthorization Act of 2003, theÂ Trafficking Victims Protection Reauthorization Act of 2005, and theÂ Trafficking Victims Protection Reauthorization Act of 2008.

Sex traffickers frequently targetÂ vulnerable people with histories of abuse and then use violence, threats, lies, false promises, debt bondage, or other forms of control and manipulation keep victims involved in the sex industry. Sex trafficking exists within the broader commercial sex trade, often at much higher rates than most people realize or understand. Sex trafficking has been found in a wide variety of venues of the overall sex industry, includingÂ residential brothels,Â hostess clubs, onlineÂ escort services, brothels disguised asÂ massage parlors,Â strip clubs, andÂ street prostitution.

To understand this problem on the ground, I recently spoke to aÂ Special Agent with Homeland Security Investigations.

MATLACK: How do you define human trafficking?

AGENT: Two ways: labor trafficking and sex trafficking. Labor trafficking is basically modern-day slavery, people working and not being paid for their work, living in god-awful conditions. And then the other side is sex trafficking, people that are forced into commercial sex acts against their will.

MATLACK: When you're dealing with young girls, does the definition of the girl being young enough make it human trafficking?

AGENT: If the girl's a minor, she doesn't need to be forced into it for it to be human trafficking. If it's a 15-year-old girl and you're her pimp, even if she wants to go out and have sex for money, that's still considered human trafficking. Once somebody's an adult, you have to be able to prove that through force, fraud, or coercion that this girl was forced into those sex acts.

MATLACK: And so what's the breakdown in terms of the cases that you're pursuing between minors and not minors?

AGENT: I would say it's almost 50-50.

MATLACK: Can you help me understand how common it is?

AGENT: It is a lot more common that people think. Most people can't differentiate between human trafficking and human smuggling. People think that this could never happen here, when actually it's there. You just may not see it, may not know about it, may not hear about it. But, believe it or not, it's a pretty common occurrence.

MATLACK: So how much of what you're doing is folks who are bringing girls and women into the country?

AGENT: At Homeland Security Investigations, we're usually dealing with foreign nationals. But that's not to say we don't have cases that involve sex trafficking with U.S. citizens, whether they're minors or adults. But for the most part, we tend to see more foreign nationals. I'm on a task force that's made up of several federal and state law enforcement agencies.

MATLACK: So when you find confirmed sex trafficking, are you then trying to prosecute the johns, the pimp, or what?

AGENT: For the most part we focus on the traffickers. Unless the john's having sex with a 12-year-old girl and it's readily apparent she's a minor, then that's a whole different thing. But for the most part, the johns don't necessarily know that this girl is being forced into sex. Most of them think, "Okay, she's a willing prostitute, I paid her for sex, she had sex. She's okay with it, I'm okay with it, no problem." It's the traffickers and their organizations that we try and prosecute.

MATLACK: Are they mostly sole proprietors, or are there larger networks of human traffickers?

AGENT: There are networks. Some are just very small, one or two people -- maybe a couple of brothers or something -- and others are a little bit bigger. For the most part, it's not like a drug organization, where you have 100 people, from the ones that pick the coca leaves, to making it, turning it into cocaine, and then bringing it from Columbia to wherever, into the United States. They're usually not that intricate. They do have people in foreign countries that help provide girls, and so there are multiple players that have their own specific roles.

MATLACK: So just walk me through how it works, and how the coercion works, and what kinds of girls end up in this position.

AGENT: What's common in some of the sex trafficking from other countries, like Mexico, for example, is that it kind of tells a story. The girls meet this guy who treats them like gold, and promises them the world and tell them, "Hey, we can go to the United States, there's work over there, and we can make money and send money back our families, and save money so we can build our own house in Mexico eventually." So they get these girls and basically jerk them around, into falling in love with them. And once they're here in the U.S., all of a sudden, the grass isn't so green, or work's not there, and then right off the bat it's sort of, "Hey, well, you're here now, you belong to me, this is what you're going to do." Or they sometimes take a little more of a softer approach: "You know, times are tough, we need to pay rent, this is something you can do to help. You don't need to do it for long, just bring in some extra money." So psychologically, a lot of the times the guys take over these girls, and next thing you know, the girls are being forced against their will into it.

And usually, when the time comes where they say no, there's a lot of physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse. I mean, a lot of these women feel like they're worthless at this point, and they don't know what else to do. Some girls think this guy really loves them and knows what is best. It's amazing -- we have girls in front of us that we know are victims, and even though they didn't want to do this, they don't see themselves as victims right off the bat. They thought that they were doing it because they love this guy, and he's the best thing ever, and he wouldn't do that to them. The guys have such a hold on them mentally.

And there are times where they'll force these girls in with drugs. They'll get the girls hooked on narcotics, heroin, cocaine, whatever it may be. Then it gets to the point where girls can become so addicted to that that that's the only way that they'll be able to get their fix is to go out and do this. Between the mental, physical, and verbal abuse, the traffickers usually have such a strong hold over these girls that they have no control over what is happening to them. And they have no control, for the most part, of being able to get out of it.

MATLACK: What's the youngest girl in a case that you've been involved with?

AGENT: I think she was 13.

MATLACK: So if you can't get them to admit, you can't prosecute, even if you have other evidence?

AGENT: We can. We can use other evidence that has been gathered during the investigation to use that against her traffickers.

MATLACK: So in the cases where you are able to intervene and prosecute, what happens to these girls?

AGENT: We have a guy that's assigned to us full time; he's called the victim assistance coordinator. He's not a gun-carrying, badge-carrying person. He's a licensed therapist. If we find the girls, besides him being able to talk to these girls, he also helps set up getting them to a shelter, getting them whatever sort of treatments they need. That's what we try to take care of first. If it's a minor, obviously they go right to a shelter because of her age. But, again, she has to want that. We can't force anything on these girls.

And then, later on down the road, depending on where the person is from, if she is from another country and here illegally, there are things that we can do to help give her status, whether it be temporary or permanent while we investigate and seek help.

MATLACK: Do you know what the recidivism rate is?

AGENT: I don't know, but that is always a concern of ours -- that the girl could go back to what she was doing. Often, too, these traffickers will threaten the girls' families, and that's one of the big problems we have because these girls have been told, "I know who your mom is, I know who your sister is, where they live. If you ever say anything to the police, we'll kill your family, and we'll kill your kid." There's usually a lot of threats that keep these girls from running away or turning themselves in to the police.

MATLACK: How do you convince them to believe that those threats aren't real?

AGENT: Well, we don't necessarily try to convince them that the threats aren't real, because we don't know if they are. But we just try to explain to them that the situation that they're in is not right, and that we can help them. We do our best to convince them that what has been done to them for so long is evil and wrong. At the end of the day, it's really up to them. We can't force them to do anything or say anything, but we do everything within our power to help them realize what happened to them, and what they can do with themselves.

MATLACK: Is there anything that you're trying to do on your side to offer an alternative, other than getting these girls into a safe place? Or is that just not part of what you're focused on?

AGENT: Well, it is. There are things in place for us to be able to provide these girls with some sort of immigration relief. I'm talking about a girl from a foreign country. There are visas for trafficking victims, that, if she is a documented trafficking victim, she can apply for. So, that being said, besides the help that we offer them right off the bat, trying to get them into the shelter, I do my best to explain that, first of all, it isn't right what was done to them. Nobody should ever have to go through that.

But they need to ask, because, at the end of the day, if the girl is from a foreign country and just says, "You know, send me home, I'm illegal, I want to go back to Mexico," or "I want to go back to Brazil," if that's really what she wants, and that's what she asks for, we can't stop that from happening. But we do what we can to make sure that doesn't happen, because we know that she'll go back there, and she'll be back in the same position.

MATLACK: And in terms of the federal government's stance on this being human slavery, how seriously do you think the government's taking this?

AGENT: They take it very seriously. Human trafficking is basically at the forefront of my agency, Homeland Security Investigations. There's lots of attention, lots of resources, lots of money put into it to make sure that we can do our job as effectively as possible.

MATLACK: I was listening to the Director of the Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons at the U.S. State Department talking about how we've measured human trafficking all around the world and never measured ourselves, and now we're beginning to do that because, obviously, there is human trafficking here. Do you have any sense of how we compare to other countries?

AGENT: I really don't know. But we can't be too far behind, and I think that our government is realizing that, and the people are realizing that. People do think, "Oh, that happens somewhere else, not here in the United States," but every day it seems to surface somewhere. So if I were to take a guess, I would say we're about as high as most countries. We're probably not at the top, definitely not at the bottom, but I don't think we're lacking in terms of human trafficking that is occurring in the United States.

MATLACK: How do we solve the problem?

AGENT: Like anything else, education and information. Like I said, I don't think most people really realize what human trafficking is, but more and more people know what it is. I find myself having fewer people say, "Oh, human trafficking? You mean like the people just jumping the border from Mexico?" And then I have to explain to them that no, that's not it. But education, educating the populace, putting it out there, letting people know what it is and how they can stop it.

Do I think it'll ever stop? No. It's a moneymaker, and therefore there will always be somebody who will want to make an easy dollar. Whether or not that's manipulating another person to make that dollar, it doesn't matter.

MATLACK: How do you think about it compared to the sex trade in general, whether it's stripping or non-human trafficking prostitution, or whatever? Do you think they're related in any way, or is it a completely different kettle of fish?

AGENT: Like just regular prostitution?

MATLACK: Regular prostitution, stripping, porn. There's obviously a great proliferation of the sex trade in general. I'm just wondering whether you think that's at all related to sex slavery, or if it's just a kind of completely different thing.

AGENT: I don't really know. Do I think that the porn industry has anything to do with human trafficking? No. Prostitution, obviously, like everybody says, is one of the oldest businesses, one of the oldest jobs in the world. It's not going away. Are there outside things that influence it? Yeah, probably, but I wouldn't go as far as to say that the porn business, or the stripping, or stuff like that, really has anything to do with it. It's not even a fine line. It's a pretty distinct line between willing and not willing. So I can't really say one way or the other. But there's a big distinction between human trafficking and just prostitution.

In the United States, because there is such a correlation between child sexual abuse and child prostitution, a lot of times it might be somebody who has that ability to figure out which are the vulnerable girls, whether it's eighth, ninth, tenth graders. Maybe they have been abused at home. Maybe they're willing to run away, mom has a new boyfriend or what have you or they might be wrestling with an addiction.

The pimps seem to be able to look at the women around them, look at the girls around them, find that vulnerability. But then, they basically offer glamour, a better life, even love. So it's very similar to what we see with international trafficking as well. It's basically they offer hope, and they deliver with a nightmare.

We have a president who has the Emancipation Proclamation in his office, not a copy, the Emancipation Proclamation. And I think that he sees it, and I certainly see it in the work that I do, as we're delivering on a promise that was made 150 years ago by President Lincoln and by the people who went and fought for freedom. So I think it's entirely appropriate for us to call this a modern abolitionist movement.

-Ambassador-at-Large Luis CdeBaca, Director, Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons, U.S. State Department

Learn more about human trafficking at Polaris Project, an NGO dedicated to "combating all forms of human trafficking and serving U.S. citizens and foreign national victims, including men, women, and children."

This story first appeared at the Good Men Project Magazine.

Gretchen Rubin: Balanced Life -- 6 Tips for Battling Loneliness.

2011-05-18T17:26:52Z

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.

This Wednesday: six tips for battling loneliness.

The more I've learned about happiness, the more I've come to believe that loneliness is a terrible, common, and important obstacle to consider.

A while back, after reading John Cacioppo's fascinating book Loneliness, I posted Some counter-intuitive facts about loneliness, and several people responded by asking, "Okay, but what do I do about it? What steps can I take to feel less lonely?"

I recently finished another fascinating book, Lonely -- a memoir by Emily White, about her own experiences and research into loneliness. White doesn't attempt to give specific advice about how to combat loneliness, but from her book, I gleaned these strategies:

1. Remember that although the distinction can be difficult to draw, loneliness and solitude are different. White observes, "It's entirely reasonable to feel lonely yet still feel as though you need some time to yourself." Loneliness feels draining, distracting, and upsetting; desired solitude feels peaceful, creative, restorative.

2. Nurturing others -- raising children, teaching, caring for animals -- helps to alleviate loneliness.

3. Keep in mind that to avoid loneliness, many people need both a social circle and an intimate attachment. Having one of these elements may still leave you feeling lonely.

4. Work hard to get your sleep. One of the most common indicators of loneliness is broken sleep -- taking a long time to fall asleep, waking frequently, and feeling sleepy during the day. Sleep deprivation, under any circumstances, brings down people's moods, makes them more likely to get sick, and dampens their energy, so it's important to tackle this issue. (Here are some tips on getting good sleep.)

5. Try to figure out what's missing from your life. White observes that making lots of plans with friends didn't alleviate her loneliness. "What I wanted," she writes, "was the quiet presence of another person." She longed to have someone else just hanging around the house with her. The more clearly you see what's lacking, the more clearly you'll see possible solutions.

6. Take steps to connect with other people (to state the obvious). Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they're big, flashing signs that something needs to change. The pain of loneliness can prod you to connect with other people. Unfortunately, loneliness itself can make people feel more negative, critical, and judgmental. If you recognize that your loneliness may be affecting you in that way, you can take steps to counter it.

Most people have suffered from loneliness at some point. Have you found any good strategies for making yourself less lonely? What worked -- or didn't work?

* My friend Stuart Vance just started a very cool site where he posts his iPhone art: ArrghPtoo!

* If you'd like a free, personalized bookplate for your copy of the print book of The Happiness Project, or if you read an e-book, audiobook, or library book and you'd like a free, personalized signature card (with the Paradoxes of Happiness on the back), email me at gretchenrubin1 at gmail dot com. Ask for either, or both; feel free to ask for as many as you'd like; I mail them anywhere in the world. But be sure to include your mailing address!

If you've already written to me but haven't received your signature card yet -- I'm sorry. I've had many more requests than I expected, and ran out almost immediately. The new ones should arrive very soon, and then I'll send them out as quickly as possible.

Watch: Girl's Birthday Wish Comes True

2011-05-17T22:09:25Z

Four-year-old just wanted a photo of her mom, whom she hadn't seen in six months.

She ended up getting the real thing.

Tiffany Williams: What About the Woman Strauss-Kahn Allegedly Attacked?

2011-05-17T20:55:25Z

As details emerge in the case of International Monetary Fund chief and alleged attacker Dominique Strauss-Kahn, my eye is on how his wrecked political clout is getting all the attention. The brutal assault of a hotel housekeeper that Manhattan District Attorney Artie McConnell described yesterday to a judge, who subsequently ordered that the IMF's managing director be held without bail at the Rikers Island jail complex? Not so much.

The IMF leader was (I think it's safe to use the past tense here because it's doubtful he'll re-emerge in politics, regardless of the outcome of this apparently damning case) a very likely French presidential candidate. In fact, he was widely seen as the Socialist Party's best hope for unseating French President Nicolas Sarkozy. Within hours of the story breaking, comments about a "Sarkozy setup" flooded the comments sections of online news reports, and soon emerged as their own articles.

As this story develops, it's all about Strauss-Kahn, instead of the woman (whose name is rightly protected) who accuses him of brutally attacking her. At her workplace. This woman, who was cleaning a $3,000-per-night hotel suite, is a human being. She deserves compassion as the global punditocracy conjectures about what's going happen to the IMF without that French "rockstar" at its helm.

My work focuses on the trafficking and exploitation of immigrant domestic workers, many of whom worked for Diplomats and employees of the World Bank and IMF. Of course, I'm reading the news coverage with interest. Over the past days, I have been watching how HER story is covered, in light of her occupation, ethnicity (reporters say that she's an African immigrant), and status as a crime victim. Usually, housekeepers are treated as silent, anonymous machines of the household, hotel, or office building, if they're noticed at all. But surely a vicious attack would shed light on the fact that this is a real person... right?

While I mostly work with household workers in private homes, the life of a hotel chambermaid is very similar. Being a housekeeper at a hotel (or anywhere else) doesn't exactly put you on equal footing with the wealthy and powerful when you are in "their" space. So when you're stuck in a bedroom (or private household) with them, what are your defenses?

Statistics about the frequency of sexual assault of hotel maids are difficult to find, but here's what I know about New York City's household workers, from a 2006 report by the Data Center and Domestic Workers United: "Thirty-three percent of workers experience verbal or physical abuse or have been made to feel uncomfortable by their employers. One-third of workers who face abuse identify race and immigration status as factors for their employers' actions." What we do know about the conditions of hotel housekeepers is that immigrants comprise the majority of that workforce, as do women of color, and that their workplace is dangerous on its own, let alone with the additional risk of sexual assault. Rushing to keep up with demand, hotel housekeepers have an injury rate 40 percent higher than workers in the overall service sector.

I have many other questions too. The two that come to mind immediately are:

1- Do Europeans and North Americans just assume that being subjected to sexual aggression is a given if you're a woman working as a maid in a wealthy man's home or hotel suite?

2- Why would anyone assume that a working-class woman would lie about a sexual assault to get money from a settlement?

I can't fathom why anyone would believe these things, but here we are in the comments section in Vanity Fair, the New York Times, and ABC News where every fourth word is "setup" and where the maid's getting very little empathy. I don't think the people writing these comments or news stories are malicious. It's just a symptom of the way household workers are treated in the United States and around the world. They are servants, and therefore -- for hotel guests and the people who can afford to have them clean their homes -- barely human.

Strauss-Kahn's lawyer Benjamin Brafman said that he represents "good people who have gone astray... that doesn't mean their lives should be destroyed." The themes of many of the reports and commentaries I have read center around the feeling that it would be a tragedy for this politician's career, and his removal would put the global economy at risk.

Because this "just" involves a hotel housekeeper, there's not a lot of conjecture about the tragedy she'll face as she tries to put her own life back together. Even if the reason that reporters aren't covering her story with humanity is that they want to respect our legal system's promise of "innocent until proven guilty," they're missing the broader point: this storyline isn't uncommon. No one is talking about the countless other household and hotel workers who have endured sexual harassment and assault at the hands of wealthy (or even middle-class) men around the world.

Why? Perhaps because it's supposed to be a fact of life that poor women's bodies are collateral damage of war, prizes for global accomplishment, or simply a means to an end. Women who are household workers or "servants" are even more vulnerable to dehumanizing sexual assault than others because their relationships are inherently unequal to their employers. We don't have scientific studies of the relative risks, but we have hundreds of testimonies of household workers who have been trafficked, exploited, and assaulted, and our common sense that tells us there are many more out there.

Of course it isn't uncommon that famous/wealthy men who assault women usually dominate the news. What will Strauss-Kahn do next? Even when their conduct is deemed improper without being illegal, there's a lot of hand-wringing over how prominent men such as former Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, former New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer, and former Sen. John Edwards, will suffer for their indiscretions.

Poor guys.

Cross-posted with IPS blog.

Gerit Quealy: Forgotten Women: Witches, Healers And Medicine Women

2011-05-17T16:53:00Z

Chicken soup for the 16th-century soul? Well, kind of. If your chicken soup has snails or mole blood in it.

The fact is, many of what we now term homeopathic healers, were women back in the day -- the "day" being early modern history, for instance. But because women largely shared their knowledge with each other, their expertise and acumen missed out on getting a prominent place in the historical record -- or a place at all.

A dusting off of centuries-old documents points the spotlight in their direction.

This was the focus of Beyond Home Remedy: Women, Medicine, and Science -- a fascinating exhibit at the Folger Shakespeare Library that was the brainchild of Rebecca Laroche, associate professor of English at the University of Colorado, Colorado Springs.

Like our amorphous group of knitters' quiet contribution to history, these "Forgotten Women" formed the spine of medical and medicinal knowledge. Women as caretakers, in charge of the care and feeding of their families, meant that the kitchen often became the lab. Concocting cures naturally evolved into distilling tinctures and other scientific explorations in the healing arts.

This has a contemporary resonance in projects like Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution, which encourages a return to getting our nutrition from food, as well as the ever-increasing interest in alternative medicine. In the 1500s though, "alternative" was the norm. "We've gotten so far away from our own healthcare," Laroche says ruefully. "We're so dependent on the medical establishment."

Another contemporary parallel: The rich could afford to go to a physician (although, as you'll see in the slideshow, that wasn't always the best care), but the poor went to the wise woman of the community. And lo! fears about witchcraft began to be exploited more for political than religious reasons.

Author of "Medical Authority and Englishwomen's Herbal Texts, 1550-1650", Laroche is also passionate about putting women back onto the scientific map. "As feminists, we're so bent on women having a presence in the scientific landscape now, but we have a place in science already," she says. "The idea that we don't is a fallacy."

Showing our presence in the past changes our relationship to the future, she says. I couldn't agree more.

Who's a witch, a wisewoman, a healer? See the slideshow:

* * * * * Check out more Forgotten Women. For more on women then and now, see Gerit Quealy's columns on StyleGoesStrong.com

All images by permission of the Folger Shakespeare Library, Washington DC.

Maria Rodale: Word of the Day: Scandalbroth

2011-05-17T15:24:23Z

by guest blogger Maya Rodale

Scandalbroth, according to Obsolete Word of the Day, is an old name for tea. But it's also a "reference to tea as the beverage of choice while the woman-folk sat around and gossiped" (that is, before cosmopolitans became popular). As an author of historical romance novels set in the Regency period (England, about 1810-1820), it was onlyÂ a matter of time before I encountered this weird word.

I love it. In one word, it's a beverage, an activity, and a stereotype about women ("sat around and gossiped and drank tea!!!"). Women of the Regency era--

the characters themselves, or we women who "visit" the era as readers and writers of romance--know gossip often means scandal, and scandal is often delightfully interesting.

But here's the other thing about gossip and scandal: It's not just wagging of tongues or malicious talk. According to a rather fascinating article in Psychology Today, gossip is a way humans bond, learn the "in group" from the "out group," learn about the world, and learn about and reinforce social values. In the Regency era, had an unmarried woman been discovered with a man not of her relation, it would have been scandalbroth fodder for a week! Today it might merit a passing mention, but probably not.

I happen to have written a book, A Tale of Two Lovers, in which the characters are engaged in a battle of wit, wills, and scandal-mongering. In a nutshell:

He is Notorious.

She is Scandalous.

Together they're...respectable!?

The longer version is that she is a gossip columnist for a newspaper, and he's a rake who must wed or be penniless. Hijinks ensue. True love triumphs. Read more about it on my blog at MayaRodale.com.

Much like a delicious dinner with family and friends, scandalbroth is all about bringing people together to share food and conversation. Here's the recipe:

Pot of tea.

A mug and a teabag will do, but for the full experience, a china cup and teapot will add a bit more magic. Seriously.

Sweet stuff.

Whatever you fancy--sugar, honey, tea, milk. Authors often mention what characters take in their tea, as if it reveals something about them, which it probably does. My mother does not add anything ever. I only add sugar or honey if I'm taking black tea.

Friends and friendly gossip.

There's no need to be mean-spirited with the gossip; this isn't mudslinging (not with the nice china out!!). An issue of People magazine will suffice as well. Or A Tale of Two Lovers.

Extra credit: Scones or other baked goods. If you're up for bringing this, by all means do so! And then invite me over. Like my mother, I can cook, but baking is quite another thing entirely. (Last week while baking I made the unfortunate discovery that you can, indeed, use too much butter.)

If you want to make this authentic, make sure your ingredients are whole and organic. Think about it: The era of scandalbroth was pre-aspartme, pre-chemicals-on-food. It was not pre-global, though.Â Sugar and tea weren't being grown in England, but were transported in from halfway around the world, and in the process, influencing fortunes and the fates of nations. But that's a blog post for another day. Or something to discuss over tea.

Related Links:
Reading For Pleasure: My Top 5 Favorite Authors - Maria's Farm Country Kitchen
How to Grow Your Own Tea - Rodale.com
A Tale of Two Lovers - Maya Rodale

For more from Maria Rodale, go to www.mariasfarmcountrykitchen.com.

Dr. John Demartini: Balance in a Post Bin Laden America

2011-05-16T21:39:40Z

What some of the people from within the United States are going through at this moment might be called the slow come-down following the celebratory euphoria at the killing of Osama bin Laden. It might make sense that some would feel a sense of relief, even jubilation, at the news that the man who haunted the shadows of America's national consciousness for ten years is no longer a threat. Some people wanted to see so-called justice done, and many perceive that it was. But that elation could not have lasted. It is wise that such extreme feelings do not last.

Obviously, just because Osama bin Laden is dead does not mean the 'threat' is over. Bin Laden may have been the figurehead for Americans who perceive him wishing to do them harm but he certainly was not the only one wishing to do so. It is still wise to be vigilant, and it is this very vigilance that will create an atmosphere, not of dread, but of strength and endurance. The understanding that there are others out there with alternative and even violently opposing values and intentions, and the understanding that these viewpoints create equilibrium with our own is what helps us to evolve. The U.S. may have killed bin Laden but once you destroy the target that you know, it is wise to realize that you also increase the odds of generating targets that you don't know. As long as those differing cultural viewpoints exist, new oppositions are inevitable. Attempting to avoid what is essentially unavoidable is the essence of human suffering, but likewise is the desire to obtain that which is unobtainable. Once again, wisdom embraces the two sides of this struggle at once: the supportive and challenging, the positive and negative, like the two sides of a magnet. One-sided magnets are unattainable; 'national magnetism,' likewise, demands the whole.

To some extent, America has been defined by enemies. Enemies play a vital role in making a country more powerful. If a sports team plays an opponent that is not challenging enough, it does not see the optimal growth of its skills and abilities. If a nation is not opposed by another nation or a common enemy, it can become complacent and stagnant; it requires a challenging opponent to keep it moving forward. History has shown a constant push-and-pull between supporters and challengers, allies and enemies, cooperation and competition in all areas of life and throughout time. These make up the true balance of nature. As with predator and prey in ecology, so, too, the same in sociology.

So, no, we cannot expect that because Osama bin Laden is gone, there will be complete security. The reality is that there will always be insecurity in all our lives and if it isn't something that can be personified by an enemy like bin Laden, our psyches will shift it to some other form; it will manifest itself as financial insecurity, social insecurity, relationship or spiritual insecurity. And again, that insecurity is essential to us because it helps us continue to refine our actions so that we can be better prepared to tackle whatever new challenges life sends our way. Personally, I have learned to embrace the two complementary sides of the coin rather than futilely believing that I can somehow rid myself of insecurity; it can no more be done away with completely than the feeling of comfort and security that balances it out. Sure, we strive for the illusion of constant safety, but even if that feeling were possible, would it really be wise for us in the long run? Remember that the predator is always waiting for the prey that has become full from its own meal and is now slow and vulnerable.

It is wise to keep our eyes open for the next predator -- whatever form that predator may take -- and in this we can grow stronger. Maybe it's wisest to think of it in terms of police work: as the criminal strikes, the police are forced to try to out-think and stay a step ahead, which makes the criminal get smarter to stay a step ahead of them, and that forces the police to then adapt and evolve and so on. Both grow in tandem. The same holds true for peace and war and for all other forms of complementary polarities that make up our human existence.

Neon Bras and Body Chains: Kathy Rose's LA Summer Style Musts

2011-05-16T20:08:21Z

Jewelry designer Kathy Rose won last season of Bravoâs "Launch My Line" on the power of her elegant rings, necklaces and earrings. Rose designs an eponymous line that is featured at her Los Angeles jewelry boutique Roseark. This West Hollywood shop carries an array of timeless pieces from designers around the world. Here, the style maven shares her tips on how to look hot and stay cool this summer.

Invest in pieces you connect with: âMore and more, people are buying pieces for personal expression,â Rose says. âTheyâre talismans. These unique pieces stand out, so theyâre perfect with a simple outfit like a tank top and sandals.â

Make it Bright: âNeon is big for summer. As a busy mom and store owner, I bring in that pop of color with tennis shoes, an electric ring or just a little bit in my bra. La Perla and Cosa Bella both do great neon.â

Day to Night: âEverything from Roseark is timeless, so the pieces work for both black tie and bikini. For summer, Iâm seeing a lot of long, full gown-like skirts.â Rose recommends matching an outfit with her white arrowhead necklaces or eagle stud earrings. âTheyâre easy and casual,â she says.

Rose on Rose: Many of Roseâs designs are made from rose gold, which ranges in tone from peach to deep rose. âIt looks pretty on any skin tone,â says Rose, âand itâs great to layer with platinum or white gold.â

Stack: Layering jewelry is a great way to add oomph to any look. âSimple rings and bracelets are stackable,â says Rose. âWear one to the beach and then stack a whole bunch on for nighttime.â

Ankle bracelets: Wear these sexy pieces loose and low. Rose recommends a pair of tiny chains on both ankles. âWhen I won "Launch My Line" last year, I showed a lot of gowns with exposed ankles to display ankle bracelets and toe rings. Itâs a great wedding day look for a barefoot bride.â

Body Chains: Rose loves long chains that wrap around the entire body. âTheyâre amazing. Wear one over your bikini or under a dress and so that it just peaks out.â

Summer Nails: âI love to keep my fingernails short, rounded and nude because I wear rings. Itâs nice and elegant to have simple, clean hands. For an event, I love red fingernails with a 1940s half moon manicure. For feet, I live in a formaldehyde free Deborah Lippmann glittery nail polish called Happy Birthday. Itâs like a carnival on your toes.â

Roseark, 1111 North Crescent Heights Boulevard, at Santa Monica Boulevard, (323-822-3600 or www.roseark.com)

Peter Baksa: Giving Back Is The Point Of Power

2011-05-16T18:04:36Z

This post is part of Breakthrough with Tony Robbins. A series featuring the empowering stories of individuals who have triumphed in the face of hardship and crisis.

After an early life of trial-and-error, I have come to a life of blessing in which I want to give back to persons who are hurting or alone, but who deserve blessings. It seems simple now, but I have not always seen how the Universe gives and desires us to share one with another -- to give back.

Two days during my fifth year stand out clearly in my mind. My dad's car arrives, carrying a boat almost as big as the car. Dad places me inside the boat, seating my younger brother, Ron, right behind me. I am teleported into a different world where pirate ships are defeated, and new lands discovered. On a Sunday later that fall, after church and lunch, we take a nap. Mom sleeps with my little brother, while I am sent to my parent's room. Hearing someone coming, I pretend to be sleeping. Dad walks past. Just as I sit up to talk with him ... he clutches his chest. I ask what is wrong. Silence. I shake his body. No movement. I bolt to get mom. She turns his lifeless body over, shouting my dad's name. As his body is carried out, mother sends Ron and me to grandma Toffel's house next door. Mom's demeanor changed. Perhaps like her, I loved dad for the boat, but regretted the life we got when he died.

At age 9, I am a starting pitcher in Little League. Each step poses a struggle as my mother, a widow, scrimps to keep us fed. Then, I lose my baseball mitt. At practice, I tell my coach, who approaches mother. Two hours and an ocean of tears later, she is not finished explaining her troubles. He finds me a left-handed mitt. As I get used to it, I take extra long on the pitcher's mound. I re-kick the dirt, trying to get my mother's voice out of my head. As I look at the hitter, I imagine his bat contains my mother's wails and humiliation. I fight to hold back hot angry tears and throw my first pitch. Strike one! I wipe the sweat on my face and realize that pain, humiliation, and adversity have become my motivation. That old, uncomfortable mitt gave me a way to increase my game: pitching strikes means I didn't need to bother with the mitt.

As an undergraduate, I was a walk-on member of the track team and ran by the same old rickety house. One day I knocked. An elderly man invited me in. The living room had no furniture, except canoe to catch water from a gaping hole in the roof. A WWI veteran, and a new widower, he wanted to move. Maybe because I grew up without a father, I decided to help him. I drew up a contract, found him an apartment, and helped him move there. Then I paid my fellow athletes to fix the place up. Hardly any skills. Yet in 7 weeks, it was completely remodeled and rented to a sorority. Six months afterward, I called the university folks to negotiate a potential sale; my bank account was restocked and school loans paid off. The man had been hounded by the university, he told me; I had approached him "on the right day and in the right way."
Shortly afterward, I was running a City Master Plan project my small firm had won even though I was under 30. This was another blessing -- the opportunity to design and implement a 20-acre parkette, fitness trail, and water feature. I got valuable experience, while the community got an exceptional development. For the first time in such a powerful way, my visualizations became the reality I saw.

My master's degree thesis offered a mathematical model to value real estate, focusing on how the energy permeating a building draws or repels tenants. I asserted a building evokes a feeling much like an oil painting or piece of music and translates into numbers. The committee could not envision this. At an impasse, I debated whether to appease the committee members. I maintained my stance and obtained my masters degree by the narrowest of margins. Here the reality I saw manifested; value is not just the cost of things.

The derision about granting my masters degree caught the attention of the architecture department. The dean invited me to become University of Illinois's first Ph.D. in architecture. Under my professor's tutelage, I designed a HVAC system to circulate air while exploiting natural air currents; this increased heating and cooling efficiency by nearly 68 percent. I worked in my own laboratory; a tuition waiver allowed me to take course sequences in four colleges. I also took ballroom dance classes as a way to meet girls, and this manifested in falling in love with a young violinist.

Unfortunately for graduate work, my business escalated. A prominent real estate developer died. I used to run by an all limestone mansion every day. According to any expert, it was not worth much. Yet, I loved its Gothic cathedral feeling. I phoned my banker to join me in attending the auction. Once there, I spotted all the big name players. So I visualized the building again, its grainy limestone on my hands. This present-experience (what I call the point of power) centered me. The bidding began, and I made my one bid. The banker and I stopped at our building on the way home to feel the limestone again.

My real estate business added staff, and I enjoyed giving back by helping them thrive. One night I was awaked at 3:00 a.m. One of the fifty or so employees, "Sharon" was crying. She needed money to bail out her son. I thought of my own mother -- a struggling single woman raising two boys -- and my heart melted. I comforted Sharon, paid the bail, and drove both of them home. Surely, I was tired, but warmed by a feeling of family.

I have also been able to give back to my community. For example, I was invited to be on the board of directors of the local symphony. Once seated, I discovered that this 125-year-old symphony was on the verge of bankruptcy. Three board women came to my office. Over tea, they asked me to take the position of president. I declined without much hesitation. That night, I felt a deep sadness toward all those who depended on the organization and toward the community. The musicians and the children in the surrounding community who were always invited to our annual free concerts. Some their only exposure to the classics performed live. After I accepted, I initiated fund-raising events and reached out for support. Within eight months, our first concert was sold out. Within 18 months, the company ran at a profit. To this day, this successful volunteer effort is one of my proudest achievements. And I owe it all to the women who visualized a great outcome in the organization and me. Sometimes, we are actors in the visions of others.

Five years ago, I decided to do camera interviews at each port on a sailing trip up the east to Manhattan and then back to Miami Fl. Many persons agreed, but then were unable to say much. I asked questions about their belief systems in religion, politics, and eating. Their practices came from their parents or their long-time associates or meaningful classes taken or media.
One of the inspirations for my book "The Point of Power" came from a chilling moment during these interviews. A family of 5 each member appeared obese walked into a McDonald's. After interviewing the parents, they were not aware that they were handing their bad eating habits over to their teenage children. The parents seemed to love these kids, but could not see that they were marching their children down the plank to super sizing their next meal. Life spans of children ages 9-14, according to the AMA, are getting shorter because of weight and the sharp rise in diabetes due to the diets imposed by us adults. It was in this moment that I felt an urge to cause a bigger ripple; by translating the wisdom I had learned to a larger audience through writing.

Most persons simply seem to swim along in the stream of life until they meet the falls. Had this become my life as well? That led to a decision. Those who know me would be surprised that in my thirties, without any disease or medical condition, I had outsourced the company I had founded. It was posting record profits, and yet I chose to close it down and embark on my semi-retirement. I want to devote my life to helping others explore and benefit from the Law of Attraction. I have also decided to give my attention to the things that feel good. With this elementary logic, I create the best life possible -- one of giving back.

This give-back attitude emerged from a series of transformative events in my life and the lessons that I was able to learn from them. Lacking a father led to a desperate home life, of course. The embarrassment of losing a baseball mitt led to focusing on pitching more strikes (because then the pitcher doesn't need a mitt). Furthermore, these experiences led me to be able to make connections with others in their losses (such as the elderly man).

Notice, I was not so much determined to somehow, at sometime in the future have wealth. It was to see the wealth in the bleak situation or see triumph in the bidding situation when it could have easily ended in failure (like losing the bid on the Grey Stone building). This led to my three-point insight:

Intend by thinking positive thoughts; be gracious, be humble, think love, and intend an outcome (this or better).

Declare a plan of action and a clear desire; feel it, experience it, make clarifications during the sync period, live it.

Trust the Universe to do its bit -- have faith, forget about it, and detach.

Writing this has been my greatest joy because I truly believe that the Universe intends good for us. With such wealth in the present moment, how can we not share with others?

To read more about Peter's story and his inspiring philosophy, check out his book, "The Point of Power", available now on Amazon. He is also the author of "It's None of My Business What You Think of Me!: If You Want to Change Your Life ... Change the Way You Are Looking at It". His website is peterbaksa.com.

Rabbi Chaim Miller: Beyond Transcendental: Realizing Your Innate G-d Connection

2011-05-15T14:14:55Z

It's not easy to worship a distant G-d. Often He feels so heavenly, so uncommunicative, so incompatible with mortals.

You might have never realized it, but when we reach out to G-d we always do it in one of two ways, what I call the "meaningful" and the "transcendental."

A meaningful religious experience is one that resonates with you as an individual. It could be words of Psalms that reduce you to tears, the shrill of a shofar blast that stirs an awakening inside you or a moment of ecstasy as you walk your child to the Chuppah. Meaningful moments are always inspired by some sort of understanding or general appreciation of what you are doing. The words of Psalms were apt to your life, or very beautiful poetically. The cry of the Shofar was chilling in its purity. And the marriage of your child was the culmination of countless hours of education and exhaustion, completing another cycle of Jewish transmission from generation to generation.

The problem with meaningful experiences is that they are extremely human. There's nothing wrong with that, but it leaves in the back of your mind a gnawing feeling of distance from G-d. As much as the Bible is filled with anthropomorphic metaphor, we are all acutely aware that G-d is very un-human. He created the world and He is also infallible, two things that none of us really relate to on personal terms. So however meaningful a religious experience might be, we remain acutely conscious of how far we remain from G-d.

That's why we all have an urge, from time to time, to transcend our mortal trappings and escape the constraints that stand like an iron wall between ourselves and our heavenly Father. That could mean meditating until you lose awareness of your surroundings, or doing a mitzvah with the awareness that its given reason does not define it, because it is the will of G-d. Transcendence can also be a philosophical experience, the realization that the mind cannot grasp G-d in any way and that any human activity is inadequate to contain the Divine.

These two paths -- of seeking G-d with the mind/heart or despite the mind/heart -- frustrate us as much as they satisfy us, because we always seem to be flipping from one to the other. Neither seems to work fully. As we narrow the chasm with acts of worship, we come to realize that it is a gap that can never be bridged. Narrowing it only makes it wider.

But there is a third way: Stop trying to connect; you are already connected. This notion of an infinite chasm between you and G-d is simply not true. It is not a vertical relationship of G-d up there in heaven and you down here on earth, but a horizontal one, because your own soul is G-dly. It is the same substance as the Divine.

Instead of looking to bridge a gap that isn't there, come to the realization that your very being is sacred. Meaningful and transcendental experiences are aimed at connecting the non-Divine with the Divine, but as soon as you recognize that you actually contain the Divine, you will see your connection to G-d as existential: your very being binds you to God. The simple fact of your presence testifies to His existence.

If that's the case why do we need to worship God? Can't we just be, and that's enough?

Remember this: Your being only provides your connection with God, it does not manifest that connection. And that's a problem because it imposes a limitation on your relationship, and, in a certain sense, projects a limitation on G-d. If your relationship only "existed" and it never "manifested" then it would send the message that things have to be that way. It would be as if G-d cannot connect with us openly and manifestly; it all has to be subliminal and existential -- which, of course, is not true. So while the greatest connection that you can have with G-d is through your being, it helps when that essential connection begins to manifest through overt, conscious connection -- and that's where meaning and transcendence come in. They are not a substitute for your existential connection; they are the manifestation of it. And, of course, a manifestation is always something of a failure; it never fully brings to light what lurks under the surface, which is why you get frustrated.

But when you realize that the shortcomings of your religious experience do not really cripple you -- they do not compromise your existential connection with G-d in any way, they are just an inherent limitation in the power of manifestation -- you might just want to dance for joy. Your connection is always absolute, and all your attempts to manifest are really the icing on the cake. Quite important icing, mind you. It's the reason why you're here in this life, to ice your cake. But you can't fail. You can only make a delicious cake even sweeter.

This column originally appeared on Chabad.org and is based on a discourse from the Lubavitcher Rebbe on his birthday in 1978.

John Lundberg: Lost in the Common Controversy: The White House Celebrates Poetry

2011-05-15T08:32:00Z

If you heard about the White House poetry event this past Wednesday, you probably heard about it for the wrong reasons. The decision to invite hip-hop artist and actor Common to read poetry drew a surprising amount of furor from the right. Former Bush senior advisor Karl Rove and Fox News host Sean Hannity, among others, offered their in-depth analysis of Common's lyrics, coming off like a couple of flustered freshmen in a poetry workshop. I suppose such strange distractions are to be expected in the weeks after your political enemy kills Osama bin Laden, but the Common silliness was unfortunate, as it tarnished what was otherwise a great day for poetry.

On Wednesday afternoon, Michelle Obama hosted a poetry workshop at the White House for 77 young poets who were flown to Washington for the event. The workshop featured former poets laureate Rita Dove and Billy Collins, and the inaugural poet (and friend of the President and First Lady) Elizabeth Alexander. The First Lady lauded the young poets for taking emotional risks and striving to connect, and she admitted that growing up, she leaned on her writing and was a bit of a poet herself. The professionals offered advice as well, most of it inspiring, and some more realistic, as when the always-entertaining Billy Collins quipped, "You shouldn't worry about whether you're good now. You probably aren't that good, but you'll get better. There is hope."

The President hosted a poetry reading that night and owned up to publishing a couple of poems in his college literary magazine (which you can read here). He also spoke well about the power of poetry:

Everybody experiences it differently. There are no rules for what makes a great poem. Understanding it isn't just about metaphor or meter. Instead, a great poem is one that resonates with us, that challenges us and that teaches us something about ourselves and the world that we live in. As Rita Dove says, 'If [poetry] doesn't affect you on some level that cannot be explained in words, then the poem hasn't done its job.'

The reading (which you can watch here) featured an eclectic collection of poets, including the aforementioned Dove and Collins, singer Aimee Mann and spoken word poet Jill Scott, who was just "really geeked" to be there. In case you're wondering, Common performed and did not attack America.

As the President put it, "poets have always played an important role in telling our American story." It's refreshing that, on Wednesday, he put the art form in the spotlight and let it speak.

Natasha Dern: Why Do We Fear An Empty Mind?

2011-05-15T08:17:00Z

"Man finds nothing so intolerable as to be in a state of complete rest, without passions, without occupation, without diversion, without effort. Then he feels his nullity, loneliness, inadequacy, dependence, helplessness, emptiness."
--Blaise Pascal

Why is it so hard for us to tolerate emptiness in our minds? The prevalent belief that action always equals progress may be a contributing factor. We perceive emptiness as an undesired state, something to be feared. We feel uncomfortable with those moments when our minds seem devoid of any creative or productive activity. We rarely, if ever, simply sit with and allow the feeling of emptiness.

When a thought enters the mind, it is replaced by another. It is automatic. We are not aware that a thought has segued into another thought. But upon developing the muscles of concentration, we become conscious of the entry and exit process of our thoughts. The mind gradually begins to entertain fewer thoughts per minute. We become aware that there is an interval, a delay, a space between one thought and another. This space is emptiness but also a fullness. At this level of awareness, we are in the sanctum of pure awareness. There are many who are living in this state of pure awareness, and their experiences are lucid and real.

Many are in search of this state, whether they know it or not. We are wired to seek and find what we seek. This quest is as old as humanity itself. There is no need to spend time and energy seeking some illusory "self." What you are seeking is inside of you, and it is you. It is the mind that asserts otherwise.

When you believe this mind, you seek this "I" outside yourself. All one has to do is to remain quiet, calm the mind and experience this space between the thoughts. In this state, only the "I" exists. When you let this "I" in your mind be, without resisting, you enter the realm of emptiness -- pure consciousness or the creative void. Whatever comes up, do not take it personally. Just observe. Allowing your mind to "go blank" for a little while won't kill you, and will actually help you discover your potential, unlimited.

Now developing some comfort with this state is both simple and complex in concept. Since we are slaves to stimuli, we can't imagine harnessing such a practice of emptiness or of being. We are incessantly tempted to turn our attention to something just to avoid this sensation. Blankness is not nothingness. To be empty does not mean non-existence. Emptiness is the ground of being, and because of it, everything is possible.

When the ego cooperates in suspension of all sense impressions and thoughts, it enters the realm of empty, unnameable nothingness. This nothingness is the gateway into the deeper layers of consciousness. It is here where inspiration, knowledge and creativity will ultimately strike. While we are here, we do not decide what will be experienced but to allow whatever awareness it wants us to have.

When self is absent and thoughts negated, we are open to the unknown. Not only does the mind become utterly blank, but it loses the all encompassing idea of a personal ego. We are oblivious to all lower sensations and are instead awake to the rich, conscious and sublime nothingness. Since the capacity to remain in this state for more than a few minutes can impose a strain, the intellect or imagination rush in with ideas or images, thus ending the tension. With time and practice we can endure the weight of this indescribable and incomprehensible experience.

If we succeed in holding steadfastly to this nothingness in deep concentration or meditation, we realize that it is not a mere mental abstraction but something real, not a dream but the most concrete thing in our experience. The contrast between the personal and the impersonal melts away, and only the sense of Being remains -- a Being that stretches far and wide, like the silent trance of infinite space.

Barbara Hannah Grufferman: Women's Worst Fear After 50? It's Not What You Think

2011-05-15T08:04:00Z

Always digging deeper into what women over 50 are really thinking (and not just depending on the academic reports and studies, many of which are frightfully discouraging), I asked women on Facebook and Twitter to reveal that one thing that keeps them awake at night, that single nagging worry that haunts their sleep and has the potential to overshadow their generally positive outlook on life.

Conventional wisdom might say that women over 50 are most concerned about how they look, how many wrinkles they have and how young they appear. In fact, there's big business in convincing us that these should be our focal points. As I've written before, women often feel invisible and unimportant once they are over 50, but that isn't a gut-wrenching fear; it's an observation, and one that most women I know shrug off with a knowing smile.

When I asked them to share their worst fear, none of these issues came up. A few mentioned health as a priority, or maintaining the ability and strength to keep doing everything they are doing. But, based on the many responses, it's clear that these women who are out there working, taking care of their families and contributing to their communities in meaningful ways have something much bigger than crows feet on their minds.

The one common thread that linked their thoughtful comments was this: the fear of not having enough money as they get older.

Here are just a few of the many comments I received:

From personal experience and different circumstances, I wonder how in the world I am going to take care of myself since I have nothing for retirement.

For me, there's so much I want to do and accomplish. I want to continue to work in my business, I want to stay healthy, and I don't want to run out of money.

I worry about being homeless. I've had nightmares about it for several years -- the result of the outpouring of money required to raise kids post-divorce, post-layoffs, and having to pay crazy amounts of money for very basic insurance.

Will I ever be able to afford to retire and will my body hold up until I can.

The disturbing thing is that financial destitution could end up being more than just a fear for far too many women in this country; it could become a fact. In a recent interview, Ken Robbins, a geriatric psychiatrist at the University of Wisconsin said, "Men tend to be more financially secure, make more money, and have bigger pensions and Social Security checks. Widows are often left with dramatically less money."

What's the solution? Help women over 50 get and keep jobs, and give them access to affordable health care so that they can continue to have productive lives for as long as they wish.

Last week I was interviewed on CBS' "The Early Show," offering tips for women to get back into the workforce after having taken sabbaticals to raise children or care for an ill parent or spouse. Beyond the advice, the one point I wanted to get across -- and did -- was this: according to the Bureau of Labor Statistic, of the new jobs that were created during the last 12 months, 90 percent went to men, in large part because employers are still more sympathetic to an unemployed man than an unemployed woman. Given that more and more women are the main breadwinners for their families, and an increasing number head up single-parent homes, this outdated idea must be revisited and revised. Nothing less than a paradigm shift about how we view women and work is called for, if we are to help women have secure financial futures.

A recent article I wrote for The Huffington Post in honor of Mother's Day -- "The Most Powerful Mother's Day Gift in the World" -- clearly laid out the situation many women are confronting. Women over 50 must be given the opportunity to continue working or return to the workforce so that the fear of poverty (for themselves and their families) does not become a reality.

Marie Curie once said, "Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood." That's especially true of our finances. Whether you are working or looking for work, taking care of the money you have, and will have, is essential to your future well-being. You need to understand how to make money but also how to manage it. Many women, especially those over 50, leave the finances up to their husbands, which can really put them in a bind if the husband passes away, or if the couple gets divorced. The best advice? Create a financial plan.

Where to start?

First, understand that even the most savvy, well-respected financial gurus don't know what the future holds. Will real estate values go back up to their prior levels? Some think so, most think not, but really, we don't know. And the stock market? It will continue to go up and down as it always has, according to Jason Zweig, one of the experts I consulted for "The Best of Everything After 50" and a Wall Street Journal columnist.

Both Jason Zweig and Jane Bryant Quinn, bestselling author and one of this country's most respected authorities on personal finance (and a key expert in "The Best of Everything After 50"), strongly suggest finding a trusted financial planner whom we can work with for the long term. A financial planner can help us with our "life plan" and make sure we stick with it. Don't have one, and not sure how to find one? Jason and Jane suggest asking knowledgeable friends or family members for help in creating a plan, if you're comfortable sharing the details of your finances with them.

Whether you work with a planner or take the DYI route, having a plan will bring financial clarity to your life, and peace of mind. To help you get started, here are a few "back to basic" recommendations from Jane Bryant Quinn:

Tighten your belt: stop spending and don't live above your means.

Stash it away: put as much money as you can into your 401(k) and other retirement plans.

Hands off the house: stop yourself from tapping into your home equity for cash.

Cut the cord: stop helping your adult kids. Put money into your retirement fund first, and then the college fund.

Stay healthy: this generation of "after 50s" will most likely have to work many more years than we had expected, so we want to get and stay healthy.

Maintain health insurance until you're 65: having no health insurance is a much greater financial risk than almost anything else. Stay insured (by working, if possible) until you're 65, at which time you'll switch to Medicare (which is in jeopardy as I write this, so this advice may very well change in the future. Stay tuned.)

The best advice of all is this: do not let fear get in the way of making wise and prudent financial decisions that could have a positive impact on your future. Stay in touch with others who are supportive, caring and sensitive to your situation, and above all, don't get overwhelmed. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, smile and remember: you control your own life.

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2011 New York City Marathon Weekly Training Countdown (25 weeks to go)

I'm running in the NYC Marathon in November to celebrate my 55th birthday and raise money for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, in memory of a friend who succumbed to the disease last year. Here's an update on my training schedule:

Saturday: 5 miles using a run/walk ratio of 3 minutes/30 seconds

Monday: 5 miles using a run/walk ratio of 3 minutes/30 seconds

Thursday: 9 miles with using a run/walk ratio of 1 minute/1 minute

Every other week I'll be adding another mile or so to the long run (keeping the two short runs the same distance), and I will be adding "speed work" to my training. Next week, I'll run 10.5 miles! Stay tuned.

For more information on the Jeff Galloway Run/Walk/Run Method, check out his website, www.jeffgalloway.com.

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Staying connected is a powerful tool: "Friend" me on Facebook, and follow me on Twitter (BGrufferman). For more information about "The Best of Everything After 50: The Experts' Guide to Style, Sex, Health, Money and More," please visit my website, www.bestofeverythingafter50.com. Be well, and stay in touch.

Randy Taran: 3 Simple Steps To Find The Courage To Be Yourself

2011-05-15T07:15:00Z

We all have flashes of inspiration. Sometimes they appear as quiet whispers in the night, as fleeting thoughts in the morning shower or as huge "a-ha!" moments. The question is: Are you giving enough attention to the clues that your inner voice is sending? How can you get more attuned to the inner directives? Here are three ways to get started.

1) Knowledge Is Power

Socrates said it best: "Know Thyself." This includes understanding what makes you feel alive, what captures your imagination, and also what comes naturally to you. Knowing your strengths is a huge advantage. If you have a great sense of humor, creativity or an ability to communicate easily with people, then you can build on those qualities to create your best life. By focusing on enhancing your strengths rather than trying to make up for your weaknesses, you can move more quickly in your desired direction and have fun in the process. Ask a few friends what they see as your strengths, and do the same for them. You may be surprised! For more clues, check out "The Authentic Happiness Brief Strength Test."

2) Get Into The Flow

Have you ever been so caught up in an activity that the hours fly by in what seemed like minutes? This is called being in a flow state. According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, flow can happen when you're totally immersed in what you are doing and feeling both serene and connected. This buoyant state can happen many ways, including when deeply focusing on a sport, writing a paper or even playing music. Yoga and mindfulness are reported to increase flow, but it can occur anywhere your skill level is equal to your challenge and you get totally absorbed in the activity. When athletes say they were "in the zone," they are talking about flow. When artists refer to the music, art or inspiration flowing through them, it is the same state. Think of times when you were engrossed in something: your attention was heightened and you felt that everything was aligned. What if you made the choice to make more time for that in your day to day? For me, yoga is where I experience flow. Although I never set my sights on being a yoga teacher, I noticed (and happened to pay attention to) an ad in the paper about a yoga teacher-training course. After checking into it, I decided to go for it. The course was one of the most fulfilling experiences I have ever taken on - every class was like immersing myself in flow. What are some ways that you can incorporate more flow into your daily life?

3) Embody What You Believe In

Once you know your strengths and where you experience flow, you can consciously tweak your life to include more of that. By stepping into your authenticity, you automatically come into greater alignment and a peace that serves not only yourself but others, as well. Gandhi stated that "[h]appiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." Don't underestimate the importance of your own fulfillment and happiness; it ripples out farther than you may know. Rather than rocking the boat by being who you are, you actually give other people permission to do the same. Listen to the clues. By being on the lookout for directives, you will start to see them everywhere. Steve Jobs has an interesting quote:

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

If you can tap into your intuition and inner wisdom to direct your passions, you can use that in your own life, as well as to serve others. Then, you will easily embody what you believe, and your authentic happiness will shine the way for others, too.

What are you passionate about in your life?

Julia Moulden: OK, Baby Boomers, Ready For Something Completely Different?

2011-05-14T15:52:00Z

Reinvention holds enormous appeal for Baby Boomers like us. Who isn't eager to try something new? Who doesn't have a dream they'd love to bring to life? Who doesn't want to be part of a world-changing venture?

In an op-ed article for The New York Times, the paper's long-time, Pulitzer-Prize-winning columnist William Safire announced that his column was officially at an end. But he wasn't giving up on work -- in fact, he advised against it. "Never retire," he wrote. Instead, he recommended doing something new. "Change your career to keep your synapses snapping." (Safire became chairman of the Dana Foundation, which supports research in neuroscience and brain disorders.)

As my loyal readers know, I've been writing about my new book, "RIPE" (about rich, rewarding work after 50). I call Ripe pioneers who set out in a new direction "Pathfinders." They're the ones everyone talks about -- they leave what they know behind and set off on a great adventure. And there's a delicious -- and growing -- range of examples popping up all over the world.

There are Pathfinders whose work clearly builds on what has come before. Like Maureen Taylor, 51, who spent 25 years covering medical issues for television news and then, in 2010, became one of the world's first physician assistants (a new position created to fit between an M.D. and a nurse practitioner). Or Albie Sachs, 75, the African National Congress activist and author who was named to South Africa's Constitutional Court, and whose cases have established global precedent.

Of course, the most surprising Pathfinders -- those who take our breath away -- are the ones who begin to do the thing they've always longed for. Sometimes, the dream has endured for a lifetime. At 64, after a career in banking, Joel Orner told himself, "It's now or never." He enrolled in culinary school and, four years later, is chef at the Los Angeles Yacht Club. Sometimes, it's a more recent -- but equally powerful -- pursuit. After trying for years to get an invitation to the World Economic Forum in Davos, but receiving no reply, French businesswoman Aude Zieseniss de Thuin, 60, decided to create her own parallel event instead, and established the Women's Forum for the Economy and Society.

We've all seen examples of Pathfinders whose new careers seem to come out of the blue. Scottish singing sensation Susan Boyle immediately comes to mind, but there's also Marla Ginsburg. A successful television producer (credits include "La Femme Nikita" and "Highlander"), Ginsburg discovered that, at 50, no one would take her call. She has since reinvented herself as a designer and is now the creative director of a company that makes jeans for women d'un certain age, FDJ French Dressing. As she told Businessweek, "Whoever thought that getting older could be a career?"

In fact, it's happening in my own backyard. Literally. As I type, two Pathfinders are working in my garden. Jennifer Tibbitt and Joseph Desjardins fled the corporate world to become urban gardeners. They cycle between jobs and are happier and healthier than ever. And my little piece of property has never looked better. In a word, it's ripe.

Are you over 50 and ripe for change? Are you feeling at the top of your game? Are you finding that the world wants you to go away? Share your story with us below or feel free to email me via my website.

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"RIPE" is here! This spring, I'm writing about "RIPE: Rich, Rewarding Work After 50," a 12-week course on discovering passion, purpose and possibility at midlife. Check out the video (a.k.a. book trailer!):

Be part of the "RIPE" community on HuffPost, Facebook and Twitter. Together, we are going to change this phase of life!