Palin Family Halloween costumes: An Easy Guide!

The economy is down and that means one thing. It's time for some good old-fashioned homemade Halloween costumes! Even a decent vinyl John McCain mask could set you back an Andy Jackson. So, follow our handy homemade Palin Family Halloween Costume Guide for a gee-golly-gosh-darn-it-Joe Sixpack-good time:

Sarah "My Best Friend is Gay" Palin

Get your French braid on, rock that two-piece suit, and grab some maroon pumps. How else to pay tribute to the woman who avoids the question, but has many diverse friends in all walks of life? Just grab a friend and have him dress up as one of his favorite Village People, the gay stereotype Palin herself would imagine. Spend the night escorting your new BFF, and don't forget to flash your wedding ring any chance you can get. For marriage is a sacred union between two heterosexuals, and plan B for your preggers teenage daughter.

Todd "The Dude" Palin

The self-styled first dude has tons in common with the Big Lebowski. Neither graduated from college, and neither are afraid to be bossed around by a hot, strong woman. Yeah and um, they both love meat (moose and In-N-Out burgers), and um they're both professional sportsmen (snowmobile racing and bowling). For all you dudes out there, pull out the boxer shorts, nasty robe and flipflops. Paint a mini oil rig on your bowling ball bag and shave that goatee to perfection. Top it off with a "first dude" sash (Todd was a judge in the 2008 Miss Alaska pageant) and be sure to drink White Russians all night long. And just don't discuss religion, because while the real dude's arch nemesis might be named "Jesus," Todd's best friend has the same name.

Bristol "Pullout Method" Palin

You won't score originality points with a pillow stuffed under your shirt, but that's a good start. Now write on that shirt, "Abstinence works!" Throw in a Hello Kitty Backpack stuffed full of Seventeen magazines and you're well on your way. Nothing like some rollers in the hair, smudged lipstick, and dangling cigarette to top it off, because baby, you're growing up faster than Mom ever imagined!

Levi "I'm a f--n redneck" Johnston

The proper Levi Johnston costumes requires a combo of Kevin Federline and Wayne Gretzky. Add some Hollywood white trash glitz to your old high school hockey jersey with some cornrolls, doo-rags, Bristol tattoos, and beer guzzler baseball cap. Pay tribute to an overnight celebrity, made famous on his ability to knock people up. This costume goes particularly well with the above one. You two lovebirds can trick or treat all night while you rant against your underage fiancée K-fed/Britney (or is it Jamie Lynn) style. And don't forget to paint your neck red!
Got anymore fancy ideas on how the Palin Family can help beat off the economic grind this Halloween? Let us know! Then get out there and trick or treat!

Ariston Anderson

Comments

[cmolina14]

Todd "The Dude" Palin is epic..... I may dress up as the greasy beer-belly scratcher just for the opportunity of walking around in a robe and drinking white russians all night.... scrumptulescent!!

[twcaac]

I am going to be Sarah Palin for Halloween but I was going to capitalize on the fact she's a redneck moose hunter. I am going to do the suit and shoes but I am going to have a fake gun and toy stuff moose. Also a button that said "Ask me about arranged marriages and Russia!"

[KevinFitzz]

hahaha... K FED.. haha

[Culturemaven]

And then I'm going to go trick-or-treating all around this great neighborhood of mine, you betcha!

[hortonhearsawho]

Im going as an 8yr. old moose. Want to see what stories about my sordid involvement with the elder moose comes out.

[bobbyrobby]

Wait a minute,

The Dude has nothing in common with Mr. Palin.

The Dude Abids, Plain is a Bully.

[mhaus]

Thanks for the great ideas!
I'm going as Bristol, since I'm actually pregnant, it should look authentic... love the abstinence idea, I was going to wear a pin that reads 'born to be a hockey mom', also, I was thinking of a faux fur fox around my neck... my husband is going as a state trooper, i.e. palin's ex-brother in law. Additional suggestions are of course welcomed!