Someone emailed me today with a question that I think may haunt many of us. (They had just read my book Patience With God) where I describe my loss of faith in the Evangelical religion that I was raised on by my pastor father.
The question was:
"Frank, how do you pick up the pieces after your faith falls apart? How do you bring some order back to the chaos?"
Here was my answer and I share it here because I think that this person (and I) may not be the only people wrestling with this question.
I don't think there is a "how to" because of something I've learned along the way: There is no final arrival.
I think that one side effect of the "born-again" way of looking at things is that we tend to think in terms of in or out, lost or saved. Some days I'm an atheist, on others an agnostic, on other days I believe and feel God's hand "on me" as we used to say.
So what? Some days I'm in love with my wife, others not, some days I love to see my children, on others I don't. The journey of faith is a struggle and there is no destination because (I believe) the life of the spirit is real. Therefore we never arrive because the spirit never dies.
So then what matters? And what may keep us going on this journey and make it seem worthwhile?
Love is the only answer, and I mean that in a very basic and ordinary way.
Love of a child, partner spouse or friend. Love of art and beauty. Love of seeing and being in the moment. This love points to a greater meaning. So what if we will never fully know what that meaning is?
As far as specific Christian faith, well, admit it, it is all about geography. You were born here, not there. That is why a particular theology challenged you. If you'd been born in say, Saudi Arabia, you'd have other questions about theology.
Theology per se, let alone theological correctness, doesn't matter because it isn't universal.
What is?: The longing for meaning.
That is why I believe in God on the days that I do. And that is why some -- not all -- of Jesus' teaching resonate with me. Because some of his words tap into a universal love of meaning through Love of other people.
Stick with your love of beauty, and stick with the Sermon on the Mount and forget the rest.
Frank Schaeffer is a writer and author of 'Patience With God: Faith for People Who Don't Like Religion (or Atheism)'
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http://www.rationalpublicradio.com/have-you-abandoned-faith-but-kept-christian-morality.html
Think of it this way. So you are at the grocery store and there are two terrorist there shopping too. A couple drones hit the place and you 20 other innocent people are killed. But, we got the two bad guys. Not a good thing for you.
If it’s Pakistan and a similar situation and you just happened to be born into a Muslim family and there are two terrorist in your village it’s considered OK. Sorry, you are just in the wrong place, geographically and religiously speaking.
So Christians how does the “love” and Sermon on the Mount fit in here?
Instead of the Sermon on the Mount I refer to the words of Danny Archer (Blood Diamond):
"Sometimes I wonder... will God ever forgive us for what we've done to each other? Then I look around and I realize... God left this place a long time ago."
And you make a BIG mistake when you enter the "pick and choose", the "smorgasbording" argument into the discussion. Christians are the experts at that.
Now, recognizing that our discussion is going nowhere, I have better things to do with my time. I believe you are a good person and your beliefs do no harm and indeed, much good.....except, I suspect, when you vote in ways that would IMPOSE your beliefs on me. Oh, and don't even try to reverse that on me. Nothing I do, no way I live or vote, causes any imposition on your right to believe and live as you choose. It is the reverse of that that is the fact. Your right to believe what you choose to believe ends at MY right to live and love as I choose so long as I do no harm, which I don't, so now I've had enuf. Live long and prosper.
You DO get it, right?
YES!!!! I am not doomed for a lack of "faith" in some final something, but for lack of trying/seeking/searching for that which we know we cannot fully attain....in this life. Love is a choice and our spirits die when we do not make, or quit making that choice.
The answer to that depends on the variety of reasons you, as an individual, "lost" it. In my case, I'm not sure I ever had "faith" in the traditional sense. I grew up gay in a conservative Lutheran family and I can see in retrospect that I lived in a state of spiritual confusion until into my 40's, by which time my personal "study" of my own spiritual senses, my self-education of religious history and tradition vis-a-vis homosexuality and the personal agony of my own spiritual development took me thru the process of coming to the point of letting all the religious trappings I grew up with drop away, to "it's just you and me, Jesus", to where I am now, with a "faith" in something unknowable but beneficent. Call it God or Allah or The Force or the Laws of the Cosmos, whatever, it is the greater universal Spirit we are all a part of that I call LOVE. Thus, in as round about but different path as Mr Schaeffer, we came to the same conclusion. This is now my faith: "God is Love, and he who lives in Love, lives with God and God lives in him." 1 John 4:16 AND "Love .....satisfies all of God's requirements. IT IS THE ONLY LAW YOU NEED." Romans 13:10
And don't EVEN bother with the god-never-changes argument. God, whatever IT is, may indeed not change, but human concepts of God have done little else BUT change over recorded millenia.
I believe in God but, beyond Jesus' and the Bible's presentation of God as LOVE, it have no clue what God is. (and you can't possibly either). LOVE, I can love, even in its personified form, but it is not possible to truly love an abstract "God". You can only give it lip service.
Buddhists teachings are similar to sermon on the mount. But when it came to christianity, i threw out every bit of it, because it was so contradictory I couldnt stomach it anymore
The anomaly should be obvious, but even love is not as deaf, dumb and blind as the 'unknowing' of religious conviction. Faith as trust in action, in all other aspects of our existence is a process that offers a result upon which to make a judgment on the validity, authenticity or efficacy of how that trust was used or abused. Our human spiritual aspirations demand realization in this life, in this time, on this planet. That such a path of faith does not exist says a great deal about the limits of our understanding, our gullibility and susceptibility to deception.
Apologists will always argue that there are many ways of knowing. This not the case. There are many ways of imagining that one knows. But the critical self scrutiny of our ideas, that offers reason and spirit a process, a path to clearly differentiate between what is authentic and just another dead end is not a significant part of the spiritual quest. And without a precisely defined 'destination', the realization of demonstrable insight, the human spirit is going nowhere, and remains lost in the matrix of its own imagination. This is the wide road. And all is chasing after wind! http://www.energon.org.uk
If it's really just something to occupy your brain...read a book. Draw. Journal...
Man, if you can't find something to do that isn't meaningful to you, perhaps you should question why you exist at all.
Obviously, finding something to do is ultimately a human vanity that is NEVER satisfied...It's all we have...What more do you really need?