Never has anything been so motivating (and inaccurate, I might add) as the title suggests. The bottom line is that as long as Billy Jones has a father or mother around, there will always be someone to coach kids in organized sports.
Here's what happens. Regardless of the season, when signups are announced -- and I'll use Billy as an example -- Billy's dad goes to sign Billy up. As Billy's dad stands in line with all the other parents he suddenly notices they are each being asked to volunteer to be a coach. At that point Billy's dad's mind starts to race to find the best excuse he can to let the league director know why he can't coach.
The excuses run wild: "I've never coached before so you don't want me." Or, "I'm really sorry but my job takes up all of my time." As Billy's dad gets closer to the front of the line, panic sits in, and he suddenly realizes that all his "excuses" are going to fall on deaf ears.
And then he hears the famous line that has been uttered annually for almost 70 years when Little League became the first organized sports for kids in America: "Sir, if you don't coach, then unfortunately your kid will not have a chance to play this year, because without you, there will be no team."
And therein begins the first day of a long season for poor Billy's dad. That is unless Billy's dad just happens to be blessed with a group of early maturing great athletes who make the idea of being a "coach" seem like he could be 100-0 if he stuck with coaching. But we all know that isn't the case since there are many more kids out there who haven't the faintest idea of what they are doing and look to Billy's dad to guide them.
So, in truth, those who have had kids play sports know that we should be very thankful for the Billy Jones's dads out there coaching our kids. After all, they leave work early, rush home to pick up their clip boards, get to the field and attempt to know what they are talking about when teaching the skills and strategies of sports to kids.
Oh, and did I forget to mention that what Billy's dad never planned for was the constant complaining by other parents that he is the worst coach that they had ever seen, how dare he miss seeing the great talent their child possesses and why was he sitting on the bench, and finally, how could he ever think about putting the worst pitcher in the game at such a crucial time.
So the next time you go to a game to watch your kid play, think about the fact that Billy Jones' fathers and Mary Smith's mothers who are out there on the field are there because they never said, "Sorry, I just can't help you," to the league director.