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Fred Silberberg

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Sheen Custody: Maybe Neither Parent Should Have the Kids?

Posted: 03/17/11 09:39 PM ET

It seems the public can't get enough of Charlie Sheen these days. Every day seems to be another media interview, re-publication of alleged text messages, or re-publication of tweets that Charlie has supposedly sent out. It is almost as though Charlie, having attacked CBS and those associated with his long running and highly successful sitcom "Two and a Half Men", has used the dispute to promote himself, and his "lifestyle" in a rather odd way. While one could speculate that there are any number of causes to Sheen's latest public ramblings, the problems now seem to have become more personal in nature. Yesterday, Sheen's estranged wife, Brooke Mueller, petitioned the family law court for an order granting her sole custody of the couples' two year old twin boys. Last week, the order was effectuated with the boys being removed from Sheen's home and placed with Mueller.

However, there is more to the story. The custody order was based, in part, upon a threat that Mueller alleges Sheen made toward her, coupled with Mueller's concern over the environment in Sheen's home that they boys are exposed to. Family law judges are supposed to protect what is commonly referred to as the "best interests" of the children. In this case, however, there is an unusual twist: it appears the Mueller herself isn't exactly in the best shape herself to parent the children. Mueller's lawyer admitted to the court yesterday that she is currently in rehab, and that she, herself, will only see the children for four hours per day. Her mother is going to care for the children while they are in Mueller's exclusive custody.

This raises an interesting question from a Family Law Court's point of view. We have two children who are only two years old. They have now been removed from their father's custody and placed in their mother's custody, but their mother is not actually around to care for them because she, herself, is in rehabilitation. As a result, the maternal grandmother is now caring for the children. Is this consistent with the children's best interest? And, in this never-ending saga, what do we know, if anything, about the maternal grandmother and her fitness to parent these children?

"Best interests" is a term we are all familiar with. It is the somewhat nebulous concept that we hear over and over again. In determining what is in a child's best interests, the court is guided by California Family Code Section 3011 which states that the court is to consider the "health, safety, and welfare of the child". The court is also to consider "any history of abuse by one parent or any other person seeking custody against any related children, the other parent, or the spouse, cohabitant or person with whom that party is involved in a dating relationship".

The allegation made by Mueller is certainly a serious one and the court should have entertained it as such. As we know, it is not the first time such an allegation has surfaced in regard to this particular relationship. However, the disclosure that Mueller herself is in rehabilitation raises the question of whether either one of these individuals are really appropriate to parent these very young children. In granting custody to Mueller, it appears that the court actually granted custody to her mother, someone we know little, if anything about. California allows for grandparent visitation, but typically it is the grandparent who comes forward and asks for it. This gives the court an opportunity to do some inquiry into whether the visitation is appropriate. Here, what we have occurring is that the grandmother receives custody by virtue of the fact that her daughter is not available to care for her children and her son-in-law has been restrained from having custody.

If neither parent is fit to parent the children, the law provides that the state may seek custody of the children and place them in foster care. It is a sad fact that most of the time when this occurs, it is in a family where there is little in the way of financial means. However, the legal standard for making this determination again, is the children's best interests. While no one seems to know for certain exactly what it is that is causing Sheen to act the way he has been, it would appear that his behavior is so outlandish at this point that his judgment when it comes to parenting the children is impaired. At the same time, with Mueller herself essentially unavailable other than four hours a day, it appears that neither parent may be appropriate. If this saga continues, it just may be that these children end up dependents of the State. It is sad enough that in this situation, we have two-year old twins who are now the subject of a very public dispute between two impaired parents. It would be even more of a tragedy if these parents let this situation get so out of control that the children end up in the custody of unrelated parties.

 

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02:24 PM on 04/10/2011
The next step would be guardianship by the maternal grandmother, rather than dependency court. But if mom is directing and delegating the children's care wisely, then why move to contentions that parental custody is detrimental? The children are being wee cared for, by all reports. Perhaps this is a Marriage of Carney issue ...

I am curious to see the court approving the stipulation rather than appointing minors' counsel to make sure ir knows the kids are okay in view of all of these bases for concern. I also wonder about putting the nannies in the middle by having them monitor visits, rather than employing a trained, neutral, experienced professional monitor who has the authority and independence to terminate visits.
thebigbike
ran away to be a cowboy
10:16 PM on 04/06/2011
"It seems the public can't get enough of Charlie Sheen these days" include me out.... I've had an excess
08:51 PM on 04/05/2011
I have thought the same thing about the custody of the twins...so sad...my soon-to-be ex was a cocaine addict for 10 years and he was behaving a lot like Sheen before almost dying and losing his career, wife (me), etc. Hopefully the court will look at the home situation honestly; maybe a grandparent will step in and take over should both parents be found unfit (which I seriously doubt)
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Cameron Hoppe
Where's your evidence?
01:26 AM on 04/02/2011
An article clearly written by someone who didn't live one single day in a foster home.

Let me break it down for you. Until age twelve, you're fine. You don't get nice clothes or a room of your own or anything like that. You live in a house of 10-15 people, two of whom are "the parents", two or three more of whom are their resentful biological children. One or two of the foster children will be permanent, and the other 5-8 are passing through the revolving door. Anything you have gets stolen. It's easy while you're under 12.

Once you're a teenager--how much crap are you willing to take, for free, from a teenager who isn't "yours"? None! And what teenager doesn't dish out crap? None! So starting at age 13 you are a hot potato. You move every year or so. Or you get stuck in a group home where you stay, but the staff rotates out several times a year. Think you had no valuables before? You'll be lucky to keep the clothes on your back. And if you're female good luck not getting sexually assaulted during your stay. Tell your case worker, therapist, etc, and you'll be blamed.

When you turn 18, or a little before I hope, you leave with nothing. Nothing. No money, no support, no home for the holidays. Get the picture yet?

Grow up in a foster home, Fred, before you recommend them for anybody.
02:06 AM on 03/26/2011
Legally,once children are pulled, Cali gives bio-parents initially 18 months to show His Honor they see that being plugged nto the kids is Numero Uno.
Charlie and the Mother of his children have an opportunity.
Ball is in their each Parents court.
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04:53 PM on 03/24/2011
Just do what the Bible says and cut the kid in half. Problem solved.
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maliksmama
You know what dog food tastes like? Do you? It tas
12:01 PM on 03/19/2011
My thoughts exactly. Both are addicts so neither is fit. Mom is in rehab. So what? This isn't the first time and it won't be the last. This woman made allegations that he threatened to kill her. How did the judge know this wasn't some drug induced hallucination? The family court system needs a complete overhaul.

But what usually happens in these situations is that something happens to the kids and then everyone starts to deny any responsibility.
11:37 PM on 03/18/2011
She is in treatment and recognizes she has a problem, he is not nor does he recognize he has a problem. He has them in a zoo with his two goddesses and craziness. She made the appropriate decision to place the children with her mother. she is seeing the children four hours a day, many working mothers don't get to spend that much quality time with their children a day. She does not have a long history of violence.
03:46 PM on 03/18/2011
You write, "Here, what we have occurring is that the grandmother receives custody by virtue of the fact that her daughter is not available to care for her children and her son-in-law has been restrained from having custody."

Familial placements are not normally made simply by default. One can only hope that the courts had a far more comprehensive view of what the best interests mandate means. It's highly unlikely that the courts placed these children with the maternal grandmother without knowing the first thing about this woman, as you suggest. How does one make the leap to state custody in a case where the children more likely have been placed with the closest safe, nurturing and willing relative.

What an odd article. State custody means there are no safe and willing relatives to step in. Why are we questioning the woman's interests and skills without knowing the first thing about her?
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JTWallace
09:28 AM on 03/18/2011
When you have a ringside seat to the melt-down of a well established entertainer, it's in fact an ongoing "reality show". It's so bizarre, it's entertaining to reality show addicts. As long as media devote their headlines, articles and tittilating feeds on the internet and TV, Sheen believes he's making sense and as Wacky Kadaffy would say, "They love me"!
12:02 AM on 03/18/2011
I think you're a little behind the state of play. Apparently they've settle the custody dispute out of court. And I'd suggest they did this for the reasons you've outlined above.

http://www.thefamilylawdirectory.com.au/article/charlie-sheen-and-brooke-mueller-call-a-truce.html
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Fred Silberberg
11:37 AM on 03/18/2011
On that your are correct. The article was submitted over a week ago. The HuffPo Blog Team did not release it to the site until yesterday.