Flava Flav Speaks Our Mind

There's a video up on TMZ today of Flava Flav handing out a dozen pink roses to photographers Bachelor-style for the same reason that Flava Flav does anything: because he is a man-child from outerspace who is also high on illegal drugs.

In the video, he makes two decisive statements:

"Bush wanna be fly, tell that motherfucker to send the troops home from Iraq!"

and

"Paris is still the motherfuckin' bomb and she's gonna blow up sh*t!"

I'm not sure how Flava Flav comes up with his opinions on the world because it seems to me that the horn-rimmed sunglasses and viking hat would render him insensate, and also there is the aforementioned brain-melting illegal drugs on which he is often high. Nevertheless, he does have opinions, and not only that, his opinions seem to somehow echo the popular wisdom. While I am certainly joined by a majority of HuffPo readers in finding it impossible to believe that George W. Bush could ever be fly, there is--for better or for worse--a larger percentage of the general population who probably agree with Flav that were Bush to withdraw the troops from Iraq he would indeed become fly. And Paris Hilton, whether or not she was ever the motherfuckin' bomb (unless "motherfuckin bomb" is a synonym for "animatronic fake hair mannequin," in which case she is and always has been the motherfuckin bomb), her recent ordeal with the California legal system has garnered her renewed sympathy from a culture of rebounds and redemption. The country, it would seem, is once again willing to allow the once-fallen heiress to "blow up shit."

Could it be? Could Flava Flav actually be the spokesman for the nation? He just might be high and retarded enough. Still don't know what the deal was with the roses, though.