More

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Gail Lynne Goodwin

GET UPDATES FROM Gail Lynne Goodwin
 

Everything Happens For a Reason

Posted: 06/24/09 07:55 PM ET

The Universe talks to me even when I'm too busy to listen. Fortunately, even when my life is hectic the message still gets through; it just tends to get a little louder and sometimes requires the use of a figurative sledgehammer to get my attention.

A few years ago I was at a point where I needed to make a major life decision, when I was literally broadsided by another vehicle while I was waiting at a stop sign. My life was already too busy and this was the last thing I needed. Or was it? It was almost as if the Universe was forcing me to take a time out- because I was too busy to schedule it for myself.

I had a litany of reasons why this experience shouldn't have happened, but it did anyway.

After the experience when I looked for meaning behind the experience, it all started to make sense. It was clear that the path I'd been on was unfulfilling but yet, I was reluctant to make a change. The accident literally shook my reality.

Did this accident happen for a reason? As crazy as it sounds, I believe it did and that life is not a haphazard roll of the dice, but rather, an intricately woven tapestry of experiences of great significance. Each event in our lives is important, from the most inspired and enlightened to the seemingly unexplainable, inequitable or incomprehensible.

However, sometimes when we're in the heat of the situation, this is difficult to understand. I was too stuck in the "accident" experience to even consider that there could be a bigger plan at work.

When we look for the meaning, we can find the gift in what could be perceived as a negative experience. By seeing these experiences as lessons and opportunities we find greater purpose in our lives.

When we believe that there's a reason for what happens, we can also avoid blaming others or ourselves. Blame is often our first instinct to try to make sense of a tragic event, but it only exacerbates the situation by creating a feeling of impotence to do anything about it.

Imagine for a moment that you believe everything does happens for a reason. No matter where you are, what you're doing, or how big your problems may appear to be, everything is unfolding exactly as it should. Everything.

This means that any uncomfortable experience in life is happening for a reason. How does that change your perception, if you believe that everything happens for a reason?

For me, suddenly life becomes lighter and much less judgmental. Criticism of others and ourselves is diminished. There is a comfort in knowing that we are part of a bigger plan.

Life comes at us quickly and isn't always how we thought it would be. But therein also lies the beauty. Sometimes the curveballs of life can end up being not only our greatest teacher, but also our most wonderful blessings.

In retrospect, if I hadn't been in that accident, I wouldn't have taken the time to rethink my life. That situation was the catalyst from which blessing came from adversity.

When we look back, we can all find examples in our own lives, where positive results only came from uncomfortable change. Getting fired from a job, the break up of a relationship, losing money in the market- all may appear to be tragic in the moment, from the limited perspective that we have. But in hindsight, all may bring incredible opportunity and gifts to us.

Steve Jobs said it best at the 2005 Stanford Commencement address, "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future."

My friend, Shannon Foley is a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. From seemingly random experiences leading expeditions in Kenya, running a boutique hotel, working with a Big 5 accounting firm, doing graphic art and even dealing with her brother's cancer, she can now look back and connect the dots. These tools were all needed to enable her to combing her love of music and service to create concerts on the world's highest mountain peaks to benefit cancer patients. She found blessing in her life by finding meaning in her experiences.

If you look for and discover the meaning in the random events that happen in your life, everything will change. You will be empowered in a new way, feel a greater connection to the Universe and will step forward with confidence and clarity to live the life of your dreams, knowing that everything does indeed happen for a reason.


We invite you to listen to today's FREE Inspired Interview with host, Gail Lynne Goodwin, Ambassador of Inspiration from InspireMeToday.com and today's guest, Shannon Foley of LoveHopeStrength.org

 

Follow Gail Lynne Goodwin on Twitter: www.twitter.com/inspiremetoday

 
 
  • Comments
  • 12
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Recency  | 
Popularity
03:29 PM on 06/25/2009
Hi Gail,

I disagree with the idea of meaning in all things. But I think you are a glass half full type of person and I like the way you are willing to turn bad events into opportunites.
photo
Flavor
Change Is Now
09:05 AM on 06/25/2009
I don't think Gail, was saying that if someone in your family is murdered or raped that it should have happened, that would be ludicrous to think and to say, but what actually (I) got out of it was thru a tragedy good can come out of it, since I know none of you bloggers I will speak for myself, for a long time I was angry that my dad got a crippling disease because he became a dad for my friends who didn't know their father he helped everybody and he was a jokester. I grieved until I made myself sick with my blood pressure reaching a danger sign, I finally said this is it my dad would be totaly upset with me grieving and being angry all the time so I celebrated life and began to write and wrote and published my first book inspired actually by my dad. I turned what was heartache to me into a celebration of life.
08:48 AM on 06/25/2009
I agree with altlaw. To try to assign deeper meaning and purpose to things that happen to us satisfies the human need to find order in chaos, to find solace in situations we don't understand or that are unpleasant. I am not as concerned with the 'meaning' of random events in life as I am with the human reactions to those events. Why did the Holocaust happen? Because we, as human beings, allowed it to happen. I would be very suspicious of anyone who felt that God or the universe had a reason for the Holocaust. What a cruel and capricious higher power! Now something like a car accident or a train derailment, there are usually valid scientific reasons for those to happen either a failure of technology or people or some combination of the two. But is there a 'cosmic' reason? I don't think so. You choose to derive meaning from the event but that doesn't mean there is an intrinsic meaning anymore than my expressing my opinion about a subject in any way alters the facts. What it comes down to for me is that we can control only a portion of what happens to us in life, but we can always control our reaction to what happens to us.
photo
Flavor
Change Is Now
08:29 AM on 06/25/2009
Love this article as always Mrs. Gail, you are a motivator. I want to tell my story, how I met my husband when I completed school I and another friend applied for jobs with the same company to my suprise she got hired and I did not, I was so hurt but my dad said, try searching for a job at another facility and since he was so wise I did just what he stated to do. I got hired at this facility and I met this man who I thought was so smart, I had no clue he had spotted me when I got hired and thought I was as he called it (fine). We got married 3 months after meeting and have been married 18yrs now. I thought about what you said, that some things are going to happen I believe it it was not for me to take the other job because I would not have met the love I have now. We have had some hard times but overall as I look over my life I don't have any complaints because I have come to realize that their will be hard roads up ahead but it's how you deal with them that matters, I lost my dad 11yrs ago and my husband help me thru that because he knew how much I admired my father. So yes I agree with your article. Thanks to a true champ! it's you.
09:32 PM on 06/24/2009
Believing that everything happens for a reason is no different than believing in a Chrystal Ball or Tarot cards. From whence does the power emanate that steers the invisible hand? Is that power inherently good, or could it be bad? How do you account for the rape and murder of a child, or 6 million killed by the Nazis? Explain to those victims that their pain and deaths had some "reason." I don't think so. By putting responsibility for actions that we can't readily explain on some hidden force takes way the individual's responsibility for their own conduct, the reality that we are, to a large extent, responsible for the decisions we make in our lives and the fact that random bad things really can happen in this world.
photo
Flavor
Change Is Now
08:47 AM on 06/25/2009
altlaw I understand what your saying, and trust me I would never be argumenitive with you because there are some things we just can't understand at that time of hurting why? did they occur when I lost my dad I was angry, he was the first guy I loved and he had a lot of life left, he showed me how to change a tire and how to be a wife to my husband, and then we found out he had mynistenigravis disease, a muscle disease that can be fatal and it was, he was only 62 at that time and you know what no one could stop my anger but what eventually happened was I said to myself my father would be so displeased at my grieving for him so long and so I chose to stop and celebrate the life I had with him. My blood pressure went down, I wrote my first book, and decided that life was so important and I want to help people. Altlaw, I don't know if you've heard of Joyce Mayer but her biological father molested her for numerous years and she forgave him was it right "hell no" but she stated because of the tragedy in her life it made her strong and learn about forgiveness. Gail was not stating that victims were responsible for what happens to them. John Walsh because of Adams murder came up with Missing Children and it has helped many.
08:33 PM on 06/24/2009
I call it the Hansel and Gretel breadcrumb trail that when I gaze backward, seems to lead me inexorably to where I am in my life at the moment. I wonder whether it is random occurrence or as in Hebrew 'beshert' or meant to be.

I think back to two pivotal years in my life...1992 an ectopic pregnancy, my husband was diagnosed with Hepatitis C, we lost our home to Hurricane Andrew in Homestead, Florida Lessons from that year...family, friends and faith got us through it...oh, and have good insurance!

1998...my husband Michael died . A year earlier, he was studying to become an interfaith minister. I casually studied along with him, reading to him, quizzing him and typing papers when he was too ill to do so himself. Literally within moments of his passing, I heard what I refer to as "The Voice" instruct me to "Call the seminary and ask to finish what Michael started." So I did and within 5 months, I completed a two year course of study and was ordained with his class. In the interceding 10 years, I have married hundreds of couples, officiated at numerous funerals, baby blessings and rites of passage. I have connected with countless kindred spirits who now enrich my life magnificently, including you, Gail. . I am all about personal responsibility for my choices, but I know that when I fight 'what is' kicking and screaming, whether physically or emotionally, I get pretty darned exhausted.
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Gail Lynne Goodwin
09:01 PM on 06/24/2009
Snuggle, thank you for your insightful comments.

Your story reads like a movie script, complete with tragedy and triumph. You are a role model for us to see that tragedy doesn't always have to determine the path in our life.

I agree with your comments on personal responsibility too. Fighting "what is" makes me pretty darned exhausted too.

I'm really grateful for you in my life. Thanks again for sharing.

Hugs,

Gail
08:27 PM on 06/24/2009
Thanks Gail! I hear what you are saying as an opportunity to choose our own meaning to events. It's much more empowering to choose our meaning vs be at the effect. Life will happen-- your car accident was an opportunity for you to see where you were off track. Like you said, we may not see the lessons in the moment, yet we can always learn something from each experience.
As one of my earliest mentors said, it's all made up anyway (and it doesn't mean anything) so why not choose the interpretation that empowers us.
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Gail Lynne Goodwin
09:11 PM on 06/24/2009
Dear Kristen,

I really like the way you interpreted this blog. I couldn't help but smile with your last sentence. :)

Thanks for reading and commenting Kristen.

Hugs,

Gail
07:55 PM on 06/24/2009
What you're advocating sounds suspiciously like the fatalism that has been fostered by primitive religions for thousands of years. It doesn't matter whether you call the controlling entity The Universe or God or Fate, the surrender to unseen, all-powerful forces is the same and is psychologically unhealthy. We know better than this nowadays. Grown-ups need to stop relying on primitive superstition and face reality as responsible adults.
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Gail Lynne Goodwin
09:17 PM on 06/24/2009
Merlin I'm really grateful for your comments. If I haven't been clear, please allow me to clarify what I wrote.

I'm not advocating we surrender to any force, but instead, take responsibility. For example, when my accident happened I didn't just say, "Oh, this is what God wanted", but instead, took the responsibility to dig deep into why this could have happened. In going within I realized that I was not on the right path and adjustments needed to happen. These are the actions of someone who is intentionally responsible, not those of someone who is leaving things to chance.

Thanks again for your comments.

Hugs,

Gail