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Antoinette (Toni) Roberson Varner was given the name Gangaji by her teacher H.W.L. Poonja in 1990. Before that meeting she had spent decades searching for lasting happiness. She had immersed herself in activism, psychological self expression and finally, various spiritual practices. Her meeting with her teacher, called Papaji by his students, allowed her to deeply inquire into herself. Through this inquiry, she discovered silent awake consciousness, and she realized that as herself, as everyone. Papaji asked that she invite all who are interested to inquire and discover for themselves, and for the last nineteen years she has traveled the globe offering this invitation, and supporting others' deep inquiry. She is the author of HIDDEN TREASURE: UNCOVERING THE TRUTH IN YOUR LIFE STORY, THE DIAMOND IN YOUR POCKET and YOU ARE THAT. She lives with her husband Eli Jaxon-Bear in Oregon and offers retreats in the U.S., Canada, Europe, Australia and New Zealand. Visit her website for more information about events or to look at an online catalog of books and videos.

Blog Entries by Gangaji

Going Inside: Direct Experience Is Like a True Kiss

Posted January 24, 2012 | 1/24/12

To inquire into something is to open to it, to meet it, and to discover its meaning -- or lack of meaning -- from the inside of it.

Inquiry is generally recognized to mean investigating, and that definition serves the purpose well. However, in the sense in which I...

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Telling the Truth About What Is Here

1 Comments | Posted January 10, 2012 | 1/10/12

One of the most powerful phrases in human language is "I am here." It is powerful because it is utterly simple and profoundly true. Anything that is said or thought afterward is just an addition to this basic, unfaltering truth. In fact I and am and here are all pointing...

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What Is Your Life Story?

2 Comments | Posted December 11, 2011 | 12/11/11

All creatures are born inescapably defined by their stories, yet if we remain limited by those definitions we live a life of inner bondage. When we recognize the stories that generate our definitions of ourselves, we are closer to the discovery of what is indefinable within us. That discovery reveals...

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Rediscovering Your Natural Curiosity

Posted November 21, 2011 | 11/21/11

The primary concern for all life forms is survival. In the case of humans, the basis of everything we think is somehow about our survival. Everything we feel is related to our survival. Even everything we understand is about our survival. What we understand is what we can categorize. A...

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What Does it Mean to Be Free of Definitions?

Posted November 9, 2011 | 11/9/11

At this time in our present history, we have the ability to be conscious of the stories we have been taught and how they define us, as well as the stories we unquestionably have believed about who another is. We can be willing to be unguarded with ourselves, and we...

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Listen to the Stories You Tell Yourself

Posted October 24, 2011 | 10/24/11

One of our most impressive powers as human beings is our power of language. We use language as we speak externally to others and as we speak internally to ourselves. Part and parcel of that power are the stories we tell. Story telling is an essential and awesome aspect of...

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How to Be Completely Honest With Yourself

Posted October 10, 2011 | 10/10/11

In our long human history of storytelling, there have been great beings with awe-inspiring stories that reveal the victory of self-discovery. What inspires us about these great ones is that somehow their lives turned toward and then reflected the sublime discovery of everlasting truth. I invite you to let your...

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The Opportunity Of Change

Posted October 21, 2009 | 10/21/09

The most inevitable material fact of our universe is the one we have the stormiest relationship with. Either we fight it as it is appearing, or we mourn for it as it passes us by, but we are hardly ever at peace with change.

At every instant of our...

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Prizing Peace

Posted October 14, 2009 | 10/14/09

In my view, the emanation of peace by any one person is a boon to us all. When that person is the leader of the most powerful and sometimes the most dangerous nation in the world, that boon is magnified exponentially.

I happen to like President Obama and I...

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Why Emotional Pain Doesn't Have to Lead to Suffering

Posted August 31, 2009 | 8/31/09

Physical feelings of pain are familiar signals to us all. In general we note the discomfort and naturally make attempts to correct the cause. This is our innate intelligence at work. And when the pain is simple, and simple corrections are made, all is well. The sensation of pain is...

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Why Pleasure Doesn't Lead To Lasting Fulfillment

Posted August 25, 2009 | 8/25/09

Since the love of pleasure is natural to us all, why doesn't it lead to lasting fulfillment? The easy, and correct, answer is because pleasure doesn't last. When we are experiencing something pleasurable, we don't imagine that it will end, or even that there was ever a time without it....

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What Does Your Life Teach?

Posted August 18, 2009 | 8/18/09

Every creature has a story. A beginning, an arc of a life, and then an ending. Not just animals, of course. Trees, flowers, butterflies, spiders, rocks, planets, and solar systems all have their story.
All come from life, are infused and animated by life to become a particular life...

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Winning the Lottery

Posted August 11, 2009 | 8/11/09

When the California lottery began in 1985, it conjured up visions of instant richness for many, myself being one of the many. Naively I would purchase a ticket at the local 7/11 and then wait for the good news. While waiting the few days before winners were announced, I would...

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When The Heart Breaks Open

Posted August 4, 2009 | 8/4/09

As human animals we naturally avoid sources of pain. All animals do, as whatever causes pain could threaten survival itself. In that very practical sense, sensing pain is a signal to move away from something. Fire burns, burns hurt, fire can kill you.

Emotional pain hurts deeply too, with many...

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An Invitation: Suspend All Diagnosing

Posted July 28, 2009 | 7/28/09

You are cordially invited and sincerely encouraged to declare one day a diagnosis free day. (It's not as simple as it may sound.) During the period of twenty-four hours, diagnosis of any kind is denied admission into your evaluation of yourself and others.

This day is by no means an...

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What We Can Learn By Not Speaking The Language

Posted July 21, 2009 | 7/21/09

People who have the industry and intelligence to learn to speak and understand languages other than their own are to be admired and emulated. Their lives and those whose languages they speak are enriched for it.

I am not one of those people, and I'm not proud of that fact,...

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What Is Your Life About?

Posted July 13, 2009 | 7/13/09

We are all afraid of death. Yet when we meet this fear and clearly face the reality of our personal end, we have a supreme opportunity to discover what our lives are being lived for. When we don't flinch from the reality of death, then the inevitability of our end...

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The Call to Freedom

Posted July 7, 2009 | 7/7/09

I recently visited the lively, beautiful city of Berlin. It was my first visit, and I brought with the visit what the word "Berlin" has meant to me. In my mind Berlin is a city that has lived at the center of extremes.

In the 1930's it was a...

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Where Is Sacred Space?

Posted June 30, 2009 | 6/30/09

In 1994 I was invited to speak to a group of men incarcerated at Englewood Federal Prison, Colorado.
They were a group of men who had been part of a meditation and discussion group, and their leader had attended some of the meetings I was holding in nearby Boulder.

...
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What Is In Your Name?

Posted June 16, 2009 | 6/16/09

At a recent retreat with a group of people interested in living freely, unencumbered by past definitions of themselves, a revealing exercise was discovered. When a person said their own name and then said what that name meant to them, self-definitions from childhood were exposed. Usually, if not always, these...

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