When the California lottery began in 1985, it conjured up visions of instant richness for many, myself being one of the many. Naively I would purchase a ticket at the local 7/11 and then wait for the good news. While waiting the few days before winners were announced, I would spend a good bit of time imagining how I would spend my millions. A fully paid for new house, car, etc., but that still left huge amounts to be spent. (At the time saving was not a priority!) As I began to plan how I would spend the money, I realized how truly delightful it was to imagine my sister's face when I gave her a bundle. Then I remembered a friend who was in trouble financially, and with pleasure knew I could resolve that aspect of her problems. The list began to grow as I added favorite organizations, charities, movements, individuals I admired but didn't know personally, and on and on.
Each Friday I would call the lottery message line and discover I had not won. As my world of illusion dissipated, my thoughts would go back to what I needed financially to get by, how I would get it, how much work it would take, and so on until my next lottery ticket purchase. Then the fantasies would begin again, and I would be in a kind of ecstatic bliss in the experience of having enough not only to not worry but also enough to give wherever and to whomever I felt like giving.
After a certain number of these repeating cycles I woke up. First, that the odds of my winning the lottery were absurdly small and that by counting on something so unlikely was wasting my time and energy that could be used more productively. More importantly, however, I realized that I was counting on an excess of money to give me the means to be as generous as I could imagine. I realized that the periods of fantasy of giving away what I had filled me with a wonderful joy. When I discovered that I didn't have the funds promised by lottery dreams, I saw that the lottery dream was really only a pointer to the joy of giving. I recognized that waiting to have something to give (money) was falsely keeping me from giving what I had. It was a true epiphany!
That realization changed my entire outlook. In an instant I went from what is called "scarcity consciousness" to bounty. I didn't have any more money, but I was rich! I realized that however I judged the amount of money I did have, I had enough to give some away. I saw I could give my attention, I could give my support, I could give my best wishes, I could give my good will, and I could give love. And I saw that unlike my fantasy lottery take, the more I gave the more I got back!
I saw I didn't have to wait for some future "good luck" to live a fulfilled life. I saw that I could freely tell the truth about what I wanted in my life and what I didn't want. I didn't have to wait to own a certain amount of material goods to be responsible for my own generosity or my own happiness.
Did you read this blog hoping it would tell you how to win the lottery?
It did! You have won!
You can collect your winnings by simply stopping the trail of thoughts that starts with "If only I had..."and notice, "What do I have". When you stop trying to get or even attract "more," you can realize what you have that can be freely given away. When you give freely, which is very different from giving because you should, how does it feel? Do you have less or more?
What do you have to give?
Does anything really stop you?
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Insightful as ever.
I used to buy lottery tickets and remember thinking about how i'd give it away and to who (and even percentages). LOL.
Gangaji---Here is the winning ticket that you freely give to everyone you meet: Turn your attention to your Heart, discover what is always here before all ideas of "I, me, mine" and deeply know that you are the Freedom that freely gives! This is the Lottery of Love, where everyone wins!
Blessed we are to have found you and deeply bless we will always BE!
Love to you...
Jill
I have definitely won the real lottery knowing you and opening to the unbounded Truth you invite us all to experience directly. The real fun is we ALL get to win this lottery and it shares itself so naturally.
You are beautiful. I love you.
Ed
Much metta
Much Metta
"What do I have?" "What do I have to give?" Those are such a beautiful questions. It's hard for me to always remember to ask them and then observe the wonderful answers to those question all around me n inside of me, though, but still...awesome.
Of course winning the lottery would be nice. Not for the realization of any fairy tale ideas in my head(I know money cannot replace joy of presence/being, and giving from that sacred place) but it would be nice to not worry about money so much or if I may have to go live in my car when I can't pay my bills! lol.
Thank you, Gangaji:))
I wanted to share that I just read a very moving book called Breakfast At Sally's by Richard LeMieux. Quite on topic to your posting.
The author (this is a non-fiction book) was a very successful man who became homeless. The book tells stories of his experiences during that time, some amazingly touching, others infuriatingly cruel.
It was very uncomfortable for me to read at times, as this is a world that evokes the deepest of worldly fears.
It forced me to take a look at the beliefs that cover those fears, both in myself and of many. Also I found that these beliefs & attitudes cover a deep anguishing despair, despair over not being able to solve the problem in whole, seeing the complex cause and effect relationships among the various components of homelessness, addiction, depression, and loss of faith.
Maybe individuals can't "save the world" but we can DO SOMETHING for some, and that something might make more of a difference than we realize.
Richard's challenges and experiences chronicled in this book were both heart-wrenching and inspiring. Those who helped him really shared with him the LOVE that he needed to be saved. They opened their hearts, any financial help seemed only secondary.
His true accounts of the various "angels" who helped him unexpectedly - everyone from his devoted dog Willow to seemingly random events all kept him alive. True help was there for him when he needed it. He came to recognize this.
I won the lottery
it is the joy of my beloved wife Deb and having you * Gangaji * as a dear friend
AND that's because our whole life is about service
It's what our dear friend Ram Dass teaches and wrote with Richard Gorman
HOW CAN I HELP?
ALL LOVE,
Ed