11/04/2013 12:10 pm ET Updated Jan 23, 2014

A 'Serious' Problem

The following statement might surprise you, but I've found it to be true again and again: The more troubled or distressed people feel about something, the less serious the problem turns out to be.

The reason for this, assuming that I'm correct, is that "problematic" circumstances don't create our feelings. It's overthinking that leads to bad feelings, overreactions, and a delay in a person's innate ability to find clarity of mind and answers.

Can you relate? Have you ever turned a molehill into a mountain? For me, when this happens, my circumstances tend to look severe. Yet, when I finally come to grips with the fact that I'm thinking at a million miles an hour, I back off, my mind clears, and the problem always looks simpler. In fact, it often vanishes altogether.

Now, I'm not saying that certain circumstances such as tragedies aren't acute or sad. I don't mean to diminish anyone's difficulties. On the contrary, by pointing people toward the principle that their feelings are created from in to out and not out to in, my purpose it to help them find the level of psychological functioning, or consciousness, from which their natural resilience is best equipped to operate. When a person's head is clear, for instance, he or she won't feel miserable even when misfortune occurs. The person will grieve, support, love, and move ahead -- determined and still.

My experience, in this line of work and as a human being, tells me that when people are distressed, they tend to take life situations seriously; it's not serious life situations that make people distressed. In other words, you might not like the things that occur from time to time, but your feelings don't come from these things. And knowing this activates your ability to regulate to clarity and, thus, spring into action instinctively -- rising above whatever life throws your way.