Spelling Porn

Friday night, ABC aired the Scripps National Spelling Bee in prime time. CBS' broadcast of Live Bingo from Temecula must have scared the network into preempting its landmark miniseries, Miley Cyrus: The Early Years.

The National Spelling Bee is like the Westminster Dog Show, but with children.

Spelling bees are a vulgar spectacle masquerading as education. The ability to properly spell guerdon is a cheap parlor trick demonstrating the most mechanistic and trivial expression of intelligence. Spelling instruction, particularly the quest for the sort of mastery required by competition wastes precious time that could be spent developing real language skills - reading, writing and speaking. While proper spelling is important for effective communication, the focus should be on the articulate expression of ideas, not low-level mechanics.

We might pretend that spelling bees represent a nostalgic yearning for the innocence of the mid-Twentieth Century before Google could be used instantly to spell or define an obscure word like opificer. However, spelling bees are really the sport of the 14th Century before the invention of movable type or dictionaries. Even then, memorization of spelling had little value.

It doesn't really matter if I believe that spelling bees are mischievous illusions of intelligence or if they are a destructive classroom activity. The culture thinks they are valid or at least entertaining.

Televised spelling bees will grow into popularity until the inevitable day when contestants are tested for the use of asthma medication. Get on it Senator Specter! Stat!

Comments

[Fritzchen]

As a German native speaker I'm often astonished at the spelling and grammar on English and American websites (and comment sections). I always wondered whether that was due to the lack of actual rules in the language itself or rather an educational problem. Then I realized that, besides German being quite a grammar heavy language, I owe most of the grammar I know and consciously apply to foreign languages. The same with spelling: German provides you with roughly one half of English vocabulary ancestry and French or Latin with the other half.
The point I'm trying to make with regards to the Spelling Bees: The effect those competitions have depends on how the knowledge is acquired. You are more likely to be able to spell a word that you have not actively learnt, if you read a lot, speak foreign languages and understand where words come from. Giving children an incentive or an arena to test their progress can be a good thing. Showing it on television, on the other hand, is neither necessary nor responsible (in the age of Y**tube, aka the "Scarred-for-Life Age").

While we're at it: Learn German and you'll never ever again have a problem deciding whether it's 'who' or 'whom'! :-)

[Durango]

The knock against Spelling Bees in the CLASSROOM is that the kids who need practice spelling don't get it. The kids who don't need it, do.

But as competition? If the kids enjoy it, that is all that should matter.

And as an avenue for kids to excel in a nonathletic format: GOOD FOR THEM.

There are not nearly enough places for that.

When the Spelling Champ is held to the same esteem as the High School Quarterback I would say we are making some progress in education.

[CEDobson]

Amen!

[CEDobson]

You went overboard on this one! Of all the things to complain about in this world - you pick a positive reinforcement that prompts children to use their brains rather than their fists or substances that turn their brains to mush. This "sport" requires hours of studying (instead of hanging out on a street corner and getting into trouble), the ability to stand up under pressure, a healthy competitive environment (given a select few who tarnish the event). These kids are learning more than how to spell. They learn much about French and Latin, word origins and the definition of a word. All of these things help to make a well-rounded, intelligent individual.

No, neither of my children has competed in a bee. However, both are excellent spellers (14 and 16), both avid readers and both extremely articulate. Knowing how to spell and how to use the word in a sentence promotes good grammar and vocabulary, not to mention comprehension of what they are reading.

I am around a lot of teenagers, and I cannot tell you how many times I have heard "I ain't got none," "I ain't done that," "she seen a cat in the hall." My favorite of all time, "aten," as in "I haven't aten dinner yet." None of these children are good at spelling or reading.

Next time, maybe a subject like beauty pageants, bullying or teen crime might be more worth your while.

[OliverTwist]

I distinctly remember driving my young dyslexic son and his friends to soccer and baseball games and listening to the spelling contests that his friends introduced for entertainment during the rides.

It was educational to realize that ten and eleven year olds would develop a great interest in spelling if it gave them an opportunity to lord it over someone else.

My son is in his thirties and doing well but is still dyslexic and still not a good speller.

Spelling is a useful skill but not a critical skill these days. At the competition level it is sort of like building castles out of playing cards - a nice trick.

Let them have their fun, but don't put too much effort into it. It is more important to understand the meanings of words than their precise spellings.

[ViejitaDelOeste]

JohnnyJi, what you don't seem to recognize is that spelling bees have about the same relation to ordinary spelling as Nascar has to regular street driving. I agree with Stager. I don't see how the ability to recognize obscure vocabulary has any impact at all on most people's bad spelling and grammar. In fact, I'd prefer to see some sort of "grammar bee" where the contestants find the misused apostrophes, subject-verb disagreements and other common errors. Language education ought to help us communicate more effectively with one another, and I don't see the ability to spell "guerdon" doing anything to advance this aim.

[berensma]

Twenty years ago, I might have agreed more enthusiastically. Today, I see consistent and ongoing declines in the quality of writing and spelling, so I wouldn't say bees are offensive.

[pfc1369]

Spelling bees at least involve mental accomplishment, no matter how trivial you may judge them.

In this time and place, I'll take something so rare where I find them.

[morenot]

I do agree with the author, just a wee bit. Spelling mistakes are becoming a blogging cliche that is no doubt the impetus of this complaint. About spelling being the lowest form of intellectual parlor trickery, I don't agree. It is good that people are caring about things that are cerebral in the world. Spelling is a rich resource of knowledge beyond the mere memorization of letter order. To be a good competitor at the highest levels, those kids become versed in the art of language and the rules of grammer far beyond the simplistic rendition given here. It is not just spelling that is being performed, vocabulairy is an INTEGRAL part of the task. I hope these anti-rote intelligence ravings do not dissuade anyone from studying the grammatical lexicon and rellishing a good bee.

[swift_goat_pet_for_truth]

Don't watch.

[eplatypusunum]

I think it is excellent to see bright kids, clearly driven to excel -- perhaps driven too much, but that's for them and their parents to decide -- rather than Paris Hilton wannabes or similar unintelligible speakers who use "like" and "um" for half of their spoken content.

Spelling bees force kids to know at least something of Latin, French, and other languages that English has been only to happy to pilfer words from. The national spelling bee goes further and forces them to know something of geography and history. I think that is just fine.

Is competition brutal and unforgiving at these spelling bees? Sure. Builds character and, frankly, the world is a brutal unforgiving place. Best get acclimated, kids.

Spoilsport indeed...

epu

[LittleBrother]

As one who competed fairly successfully, but unwillingly, in spelling bees, it's gratifying to come across this contrarian view.

I happened to be cursed with a predilection for spelling words accurately, but I remember meeting kids who'd been kept at home after school and on weekends to drill with those insane lists of obscure and complex words. There were frightened spelling-slaves and a few prima donnas. Some took it really hard when they went down; the ones who threw up beforehand cried hardest. What a needless rite of passage!

Even though I was only a kid, I found the competition and the cheering sections of parents, teachers, and nuns bizarre and wrong-headed. The bees really were much like child beauty contests, with a bogus façade of scholarship and intellectual achievement.

But, as the author correctly notes, there's a perverse yahoo enthusiasm for spelling bees in our culture as good, clean, character-building fun. Trust me-- from the inside, the "stodgy spoilsports" are the adults who sponsor and support this contrived folly. I don't know why people who go in for this kind of recreation didn't stick to bear-baiting and leave the kids alone.

[morenot]

I am finding this expose to be a bit overblown in its' angst and trauma. I do not believe its' authenticity because of the line: Some took it really hard when they went down: the ones who threw up beforehand cried hardest. The tone of this line sounds like a person putting on airs to sound more intelligent.

[LittleBrother]

No, actually I AM that intelligent. I sound this way all the time!

By all means doubt the veracity of my comment, which is based on actual experience, because it conflicts with your more pleasant imaginary notions of what spelling bees are really all about. One must judge truth according to one's wits, after all.

Things may have improved since the prehistoric era of my participation, since nowadays the kids have the advantage of being doped with Ritalin and Adderall and such.

[OtayPanky]

SPELLING PORN

===

PORN.

P - O - R - N.

PORN.

Now go discuss this post with your therapist.

[JohnnyJi]

Stager wins the Stodgy Spoilsport Award of the day. Good grief, could he possibly choose a less important subject to nitpick to death? Spelling bees don't qualify as interesting entertainment, granted, but considering the increasingly common, glaring spelling mistakes seen in the public marketplace, what could be wrong about reminders that correct spelling actually matters? So "the articulate expression of ideas" is more important than proper spelling? Probably so, but that doesn't change the fact that incorrect spelling is the best way to be quickly judged a moron.