I Love Kim Kardashian

I love Kim Kardashian. There, I've said it. I feel better.

This has been quite a struggle for me to admit, and I've tried to reserve passing judgement on this, one of God's children, for quite some time. I've been watching Ms. Kardashian, or "K²," as I like to call her, from the distant, uninformed edges of society (a.k.a. Faux-Celebrity-Obsessed America), and I've marveled at how she's coasted through life with a truly blessed yet underwhelming -- I mean understated -- flair. Her popularity and mystique baffle me completely, but with her most recent divorce announcement, I realize that now I, too, love her.

"Love her," you ask? "Gavin! Sure, she's beautiful, but how can you possibly love this 'businesswoman' whose TV shows send the most warped representation of our culture and country out into the world?" Hmm... never thought of that. "And Gavin," you rail, "especially now when Americans are gathering in cities all across the country, demanding a fairer and more just distribution of wealth and punishment for those who take advantage of the system, how can you revere such an overprivileged society gal who makes millions for doing... what again?" Well, I guess I see your point.

"But most of all," you chide, "as she blames her reality show for the reason she got 'caught up in the hoopla' and now must divorce a man she married after dating for only four months, you of all people should be furious, Gavin, by how, with this stunt, she unknowingly spits in the face of every gay American who just wants to marry the person they actually love and can't!"

But that, I respond, is why I now love her!

By getting swept up in the "hoopla" or whatever she calls it, by rushing into the "life of her dreams," by buying into the total plastic fantasy of wedding-party-happily-ever-after instead of being an adult and realizing that marriage is more than just some fun TV experiment, she has given me the perfect, modern example to hold in the face of the all those people who oppose same-sex marriage claiming that it will ruin the "sanctity" of the institution. How can they possibly feel that this Kardashian-Humphries situation is the type of union that qualifies as sacrosanct? While I feel that I must point out that their marriage was, of course, completely legal and fully recognized by the state and nation, how can a reality television circus like this be what those who oppose marriage equality are really trying to protect? Was this couple upholding some great tradition simply because they are straight? Is that really all that matters to maintain the honor and history of such a powerful union? Really?

Well, thanks to K² and her massive, completely insane popularity, everyone is talking about this. Thanks to her high-profile divorce, we get to open up the marriage conversation yet again. This Belle of the American Trash TV Ball might actually be the biggest thing to happen to the gay marriage debate since Prop 8. And now, whenever someone mentions that they don't think it's right that I go and try to "redefine" their word, or when they say I don't deserve the right to marry the man of my dreams, citing their convicted belief that I am desecrating the sanctity of it all, I have but to gently remind them of our sweet Sketchers-wearing, Midori-sipping, completely stunning yet totally infuriating K² and her unfortunate hoopla of a marriage. People, a couple of boring old gay dudes getting hitched is the least of your worries. Now, hurry... go buy your OK! magazine!

 

Comments

[Fighting Irish]

07:37 PM on 11/13/2011

My 16 year old daughter has driven me simple over the last two years defending Kim K's dubious celebrity and trying to establish her as some sort of closet genius with a flair for self-marketing and fashion. My argument that though my daughter was partially right in terms of the self-marketing, Kim is about as useful and as novel as a chocolate teapot, and I really wanted my kid to aspire to someone with more value and depth with less of a penchant for "accidentally" released public peepshows. I was subsequently banned from expressing my opinion. I am so, so glad I didn't even have to open my mouth in the last six months, definitely a case of given enough rope etc.... The fact that there's no longer a bzillion Kim K related recordings on my DVR speaks volumes, sad world when she's a role model for anything other than what not to do.

[americaback12]

09:19 PM on 11/09/2011

Marriage is what I'd like to stop, just throw it under a bus, the way I see it, is she hurt all marriages, gay or otherwise. MARRIAGE IS NO MORE, JOKE, MOCKERY, OVER, DONE, FINISH.

[dre31]

11:03 AM on 11/09/2011

This has to be a joke. Its good if anyone love her, but don't expect love back because she only love herself.

[gen230]

05:53 AM on 11/09/2011

Oooh! Catty! I love you're article :)

[ok3apples]

03:46 AM on 11/09/2011

I don't love her and I wish she and her family would go away.

[americaback12]

09:17 PM on 11/09/2011

Let E know, to Cancel The Show.

[liebchenxx]

12:26 PM on 11/10/2011

Sign the no more Kardashian petition:

http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/no-more-kardashian/signatures.html

[lacrosselamore]

04:44 PM on 11/08/2011

I don't "love her", but I don't think she is some sort of anti-Gay villillan. 72 days? That is 24 days per wedding dress worn on the "special" day.
Think of all the Gay Men who made a fortune off the flowers, food, hair and make up. The Kardashians could support a small town full of GLBT folks the way they spend money on parties.