BCelebrated -- A Revolutionary New Approach to Death and Life
A few years ago I was hit with the rather disturbing news that I might have only six weeks to live. I had been diagnosed with a very advanced and aggressive form of colorectal cancer. It felt as though I had been hit by a train.
The confrontation of my own mortality--and the imminent possibility of my own death--forced me into a mad scramble to get my life in order, to be ready to say my good-byes. But I was also faced with the immense (and even more immediate) task of getting my health-care needs in order, too--radiation, chemo therapy and surgery--and it was the latter that consumed my time, energy and focus. The good-byes would have to wait.
That same year my father died, then shortly thereafter an aunt and several good friends. It was a bad run. But as a baby boomer, it was also inevitable. Since I'm a writer and archivist, I was placed in charge of getting all of their remembrances together, of selecting photos for their memorials and death notices, selecting music for their services, counseling the family about interment options and other matters related to these deaths.
It was a daunting task. I always wondered what photos these deceased friends and family members would have wanted selected, what music, what parts of their lives they would have wanted shared. In one instance a 93-year-old friend handed me a note in the hospital and asked me to complete a final task for him. I could not read his handwriting. I was blessed to be asked, but burdened by the possibilities and uncertainties.
Then, this past summer I discovered a remarkable new web site called BCelebrated. I realized immediately this site was the perfect cyber-age tool to eliminate much of the trauma and challenges that I had personally faced, both directly and as a support person, in recent years.
BCelebrated allows individuals, families and friends to shape their own destinies, to get the information and images and music and wishes all together well before death comes knocking at the door. And I dare say that it provides a revolutionary new approach to death and the forging of ones legacy.
I was so fascinated by this concept that I contacted the site, founded by Debra Joy, an enterprising baby boomer in Southern California. I discovered that she herself had faced similar recent challenges in her life.
"After a terrifying boat trip that my husband and I thought would take our lives," she told me, "we were inspired to create BCelebrated, a place where people can chronicle their life, leave a permanent written and visual legacy, and make it easy for grieving loved ones to notify everyone in their community."
In addition to her own near-death encounter, Joy also had several close friends and family members pass. We compared notes.
"In true boomer fashion," Joy observed, "They planned unique funeral ceremonies unlike anything their parents or grandparents would have had. But their loved ones had no way of notifying everyone in their life circle. Our service helps people take control of how their lives will be celebrated, and by whom, and we hope that by becoming conscious of death they will be encouraged to live more fully."As the site developed, Joy used people's real life-and-death experiences to shape the options that are made available on the BCelebrated site. Members can journal their life by adding accounts, stories, pictures, videos, music and more. After one's death, instead of leaving grieving family members scrambling to track down friends of the deceased, contacts are automatically notified by email and invited to the member's autobiographical site. Friends, family and colleagues have the opportunity to read his or her life story, share comments, make a donation to a charity selected by the member, send a gift to the grieving family or visit a password-protected private page that was created especially for them.
One interesting side benefit of the site is how it has brought generations of families together and provided opportunities to span the generational chasm.
"As people work with parents and grandparents to capture their life stories," Joy said, "they build meaningful bridges. What words do you want to be remembered by? What images? What music? What poetry or literature? What legacy do you want your spirit to cast? Bcelebrated creates a great opportunity for technology to bring generations together in this sensitive and creative process."
BCelebrated helps individuals and family members confront--and overcome--the varied fears of loss and the unknown associated with death.
The good news (knock wood) is that I am still here, embracing the gifts that each day brings. And BCelebrated has allowed me to both 'enhance my life' and 'seize the day,' knowing that my own legacy will be crafted by myself and not be a burden to those left behind.
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Susan Smalley, Ph.D.: One Vibrant Life
I went to a memorial service yesterday for a friend's mother who died at 99. It was full of some 50+ people who knew this extraordinary woman - an ordinary mom who revealed the extraordinary in everyday life.
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We are loving reading your comments. We're always touched when we hear how meaningful the experience is for members. We've got some new features we'll be unveiling this month so stay tuned to Bcelebrated.com
Bcelebrated.com is a true gift to all of us. As a mom, I love using this site as a way to chronicle life as it happens. I write letters to my boys on their birthdays, and can attach song files they love, photos and video clips of them, and other meaningful files from each stage of their lives. I can also leave notes and letters for my husband, family and friends as I wish, so that when it's my time for passing, my loved ones will have lasting knowledge of my love for them. This is a wonderful site! Thanks, Debra, for your gift to all of us! What a blessing.
I have numerous friends from out of state that my relatives are not even aware of. Therefore, the chance of those friends learning about my passing would be slim. However, I know many friends would want to to know of my death and visa versa. This subject had always concerned me in the past until I discovered B-Celebrated. Now, I am comforted in knowing everyone who has touched my life will be notified when my last day comes. Also, when my friends and family members learn of this wonderful tool, they too will become members and I can rest assured knowing that I also will be contacted in the event of a friend or family member's death. In addition to notifications, I am able to address each and everyone I love and let them know how special they really were (are) to me. I can also leave behind stories, pictures, music, videos and information for my children, grandchildren, etc. What a wonderful concept!!
Debra Joy has created something original, something all of us baby boomers are craving and something that handles a great need. The essence of our lives can be captured in cyberspace for us and communicated in an instant to our loved one's.
This is a great contribution to all!
BCelebrated is a great service in two ways. First, it ensures an easier time for your loved ones to deal with your affairs at the time of your passing, and second, it ensures that you get input into how you want your passing to be dealt with and how you want to be remembered. We are all born, and eventually we all die, that's about all we all have in common. So with BCelebrated you can make your passing as unique as you are. This is a great service and I hope everyone signs up for it!
I'm already a member of Bcelebrated, but I do want to share my thoughts on this unique and powerful site! My Mother died three years ago, and I was the executor of her will and had to deal with all the last minute arrangements under such sad and stressful time. As soon as I discovered this amazing site called Bcelebrated, I immediately joined and found myself reflecting on my life and what was important to me. Even though it's a difficult and morbid time to think about dying, I was able to sort thru some of life's important memories and leave private mesages for my husband, children and grandchildren......words and feelings that at the time of death I may not have the opportunity to relay to them. I also typed up 250 names, addresses, phone numbers and e-mail numbers of everyone I know that would want to be contacted upon my death , being my Family Members, my Friends, the clubs I belong to, the Uk Club, the German Club, The Red hat Society, the Newcomers and My church Committee. Having done all this, I can rest easy knowing that no one will have to do any of this onerous work and not be a burden to those left behind when I die, instead Bceleberted will push a button and do it all for me...this site is for everyone, join now before death comes knocking on your door.
What a dynamic, wonderful, and true to life website. Here I am in Canada and all my family members and a lot of my friends are still in Europe. After reading the article about Bcelebrated, I immediately joined it to take the time with a clear mind to share my thoughts and wishes and to prepare for my eventual departure to the other side. This site will give me peace of mind and enable my remote family to be relieved of some of the stress and trauma that accompanies my death and to be firstly informed of my passing, and then on to my personal messages. thoughts and wishes. I am so grateful to have had an opportunity to read this article and to take advantage of such a fine website which is easy to use especially because of the sensitive nature of what it is for.
My father died three years ago and I wish we would have had Bcelebrated in place to help us through the chaos and unanswered questions. Thank you.
A year ago my Mother died. A month later my younger brother died. BCelebrated not only helps honor people but definitely helps with my own healing process. Thanks Debra!!!!
A year ago, my Mother died. She was definitely the head of the family. Six weeks later my younger brother died (makes things very real). BCelebrated is a great way not only helps to celebrate their lives but is a definite part of my own healing process!!
Thank you for the article. It seems that people are in constant communication these days, and yet too little of this interaction goes beyond the surface. Bcelebrated is a springboard to greater self awareness. It lets us glimpse now at the future of social networking and the internet in general: more depth, intimacy, and authenticity in our daily interactions.
Brilliant idea. I love it. This has such potential to change our relationship to a sensitive but so important topic. I'm inspired! Thank you for writing about this!
This is such a unique idea and so in step with the times! wow!
Love it. An inspiring site that all could benefit from.
Great story, great website, great idea!!! Thanks for running this story on the best idea I have heard of in years!! Death can be scary and no one wants to talk about what they really want after they die, this makes it easy on yourself and the family and friends you leave behind.... because really if anyone I know (friend or family) shows pictures of me in bright blue eyeshadow after I die... I am coming back to haunt them for sure! I encourage everyone to check out Bcelebrated and you won't be disappointed!
Thanks to Debra Joy for creating it and Geoffrey for bringing Bcelebrated into the spotlight
A fan from BC Canada
Karyn Dallimore
I have dealt with very little death in my life and for that I feel very blessed. At the same time, I realize that I wouldn't know where to start with the details of a loved one's death, funeral, etc, much less prepare for my own passing if I knew it were imminent. I am so moved by this article to go to Bcelebrated.com and begin making my own wishes known and letting my loved ones know how I feel about them and what I am grateful for, now while I am alive.
Thanks for bringing this easily avoidable subject forward into my awareness especially in such a positive way!
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