Falling in love is a feeling of a natural high; a state of ecstasy. It is a warm euphoric connection, running through the mist of your bare soul, propelling towards someone you deeply care for. As easy as it is to fall in love, it is even harder for some to let go of a relationship, you know internally is toxic. This is an action that a lot of women are guilty for, being afraid to fail at love.
Women are said to believe to be the most stunning, strong minded, enchanting, and unique individuals on Earth. I consider this to be true, but do you?
For about a year, I was dealing with a man, let's call him "Henry". In the beginning, Henry and I both agreed to take things slow. Prior, I just got out of a three-year relationship and wanted to explore dating other people. And to be honest, I missed being single. Fast things forward, I became severely ill and was dealing with depression and anxiety. We would talk on the phone for hours. I slept over his place almost every night, shared deep personal stories, and laughing hysterically till the crack of dawn. Henry made me start to feel whole again. I began to develop unexplainable feelings that I never felt before, but was scared to admit what that feeling actually was. Soon afterwards, we started having sex. It was more than just casual sex. It was hot, passionate; adrenaline rushing sex, as our bodies gently stroke one another during this intense intimacy. I fell in love with Henry. I sat him down one day, and explained to him that I wanted to take things to the next level. I did have strong feelings for him and was eager to see what the future had in store for us. Shockingly, do you know what this man told me?! He likes things just the way it is and maybe after college, (I was in school at the time) we could get serious.
WHAT?!
Don't get me wrong, he is entitled to feel any way he chooses. We are not in a relationship, so I cannot take it personally... Oh, but I so did! Fast forward again, we still continued to see each other and I found myself in a "situationship". (A situationship is an unofficial relationship with no title and no boundaries, which will make things problematic!) The topic of dating got brought up again one day, and come to find out, he has been seeing someone else this whole time, but tries to downplay by saying "I still have feelings for you; I just want to take it slow". Now guys, sometimes we do stupid things when we are in love...but, I DESERVED BETTER. I cannot continuously share my body with someone, especially which I was in love with, that maybe did not feel the same for me. Here's the thing about situationships. That no boundaries crap? Yeah I'm not with it. Soon after, I began to pull back... It was just not healthy to be in that predicament. Henry noticed distance and began to fall back overtime as well, because I said, I need my space. Got into a minor altercation...We stopped speaking... Deleted his number... and that was that for a while...This present day, we barely speak and I'm not going to lie, I do kind of miss him at times; however, I love myself more.
Our biggest breakthroughs at times come from our biggest breakdowns.
I am a gorgeous, intelligent, kind-hearted, exquisite lady with a kick ass personality! I am comfortable in my own body, continue to have high self-esteem and will always love thy self. At the end of the day, ONLY YOU can get through tough circumstances and heartaches that YOU are experiencing.
Do not think a failed relationship makes you a failure at love. It teaches you about life experiences, growth, evolvement, and prepares you for forthcoming bonds ahead. I do not regret what I had with Henry. I was at a pretty low point, physically and emotionally, and he was there to show me that I had the capability to love again. At this point of my life, I couldn't be more than happier right now! I am healthy, I found a wonderful job, enjoy dating, and reaching closer to my goals and dreams.
Your happiness and your self-love is what truly matters!
Continuously forgiving your partner that always hurt you? LET IT GO! It does not make sense clench to on to something that negatively impacts your inner peace. Surround yourself with positive vibrations. The feeling of happiness and joy will soon become your reality.
Frightened that no other man/women would find your body shape appealing? LET GO OF YOUR INSECURITIES! No matter how much weight you lose or gain, completed the whole DVD workout of Insanity, have cosmetic surgery done; No One Can Love YOU Like, YOU! You are perfect just the way you are. Changing yourself physically will not fix your problems. Changing yourself mentally is the key. Repeat to this positive affirmation every morning before you start your day: I am beautiful. I am strong minded. I think only of positive thoughts. My self-esteem grows higher and higher each day. I am happy with who I am. I accept and love myself unconditionally. Don't just say these words; believe them as they're happening in existence.
Fear of being lonely? LET IT GO! Fear has the ability to take control over you. Break free from the invisible chains. This will allow the opportunity for growth and will show you are stronger than you think. Pick a new hobby, take a new class, and meet new people! Learn to appreciate time by yourself and reconnect with who you are individually outside a relationship.
Trying to hold onto something that simply isn't there? LET IT GO! Pain is only temporary. Trust me I know. Focus on your intentions of what you want in your future partner and gradually you will forget about the past. As they say, time heals. Letting go will open up new promises. You will love again. Release that positive energy into the universe, and soon you will be granted with people in your life that truly loves and cares for you. Share joy to feel joy, give love to receive love.
Remember; love should happen effortlessly. Here is a quote from one of my favorite bloggers: "There is no way you can fail at love once you realize your first love, YOURSELF, will always be there to pick you up and encourage you to keep going no matter the heartbreak. In the end, there is one emotion that will always cancel out all the negative ones, Love of Self".
"This article was previously published on Sincerely GC
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