Dog Days in the White House

The pooch of FDR, called Fala,
made famous by his master's valor,
recalls the Labrador called Buddy
the Clintons owned, a fuddy-duddy
since it despised the cat called Socks
when not inside her litter box.

Obama's dog, designed for water
that's Portuguese, enjoys its quarter
inside the White House. Known as Bo,
it, like its master, likes to go
where no one bravely went before,
with barks Barack cannot ignore.
It knows that nobody throws stones
at dogs in White Houses, just bones,
and bark, which is as cheap as talk,
while giving lucky people, pork
rewarding them if they don't hog
Obama's time, unlike a dog
preparing for the rain to pour
with three feet on the ground, not four.

Inspired by an article in the NYT on July 17, 2007 by Ben Greenman, "The First Hundred (Dog) Days":

Before my arrival in the White House in April, I was not well known to the American people. Perhaps understandably, I was greeted with some suspicion. "Portuguese water dog" has a foreign sound to it. My hair covers my eyes, which can create the impression that I am not trustworthy. From the first, I took it upon myself not only to illustrate my own belief in clear thinking and accountability, but to give the American people a sense of what their lives would be like during my time in the White House. As I approach the milestone of my first 100 days in office, I want to reiterate some of my basic convictions.

Historically, my breed is used to herd fish in shallows or carry messages from ships to the nearby shore, and I have tried to show the American people that I will continue that tradition, both leading (the fish) and communicating (the messages). I have succeeded more than I have failed, but there have been lapses. Remember when I bit that reporter's microphone? I had a sudden urge to get that thing. I thought it was a fish. Even thinking about it now makes me jumpy. Another time the president almost tripped over my leash, and even though that wasn't technically my fault, I take full responsibility.

My time in the White House thus far has had one driving theme: we all share the same world. There have been those who have criticized my willingness to sniff in an exploratory manner around hostile breeds from foreign lands. But remember, we are all one species, from the tiniest Chihuahua to the mightiest mastiff. I have tried to practice this openness closer to home as well, by spending more time with Joe Biden's German shepherd puppy, despite our considerable difference in temperament and bite force.

The press likes to play a game where it compares my record with that of other presidential pets. I find that premature and unhelpful. Other presidential pets came to power in different times, and faced different challenges. Still, I would like to remark briefly upon the pet to whom I am most often compared. Fala came to Franklin Delano Roosevelt in November 1940, and quickly captured the national imagination. But Fala lived in a time when there was an understanding between the press and politicians, and many of his peccadilloes (his habit of eating garbage, his eye for the ladies) were simply overlooked. By comparison, consider the way that the news media scrutinized Buddy, the Clintons' Labrador. Before his untimely death by car accident in 2002, Buddy was persistently maligned by rumors that he did not get along with Socks the cat, as if that were his fault. (Cats, need I remind you, are jerks.) In the end, while it is all well and good to compare this dog with that dog, any honest and forthright White House pet must acknowledge that we are all standing in the long shadow cast by Dash, the brilliant, charming, perfect-tailed collie mix owned by President Benjamin Harrison's wife, Caroline. Dash responded to voice commands with great efficiency, never demonstrated undue unruliness and still found time to pursue his own interests. I use his example to remind myself that there is always room for improvement, and that we should never fail to aspire to perfection, even as we know that we cannot reach it. Excuse me: I must chase a ball.

O.K., I'm back. As we head into the second hundred days of my administration, I feel more pride and pleasure than ever at the prospect of serving the American people and finding ways to make this nation, and this planet, a better place for our children and our children's children. I am speaking metaphorically here, of course, as I am neutered. This has been a rewarding but difficult time for our nation, yet I remain confident of our prospects so long as I spend every day with at least three feet on the ground -- four is a little optimistic, if you know what I mean. Thank you.

Follow Gershon Hepner on Twitter: www.twitter.com/gwhepner

Comments

[Mark Goldin]

Very amusing! I'm glad to see you have a new forum.

[CEVernoff]

So Bo "likes to go" as does its master. And before the rain it stands on three legs, not four.
Can this be a sly innuendo that both dog and master are inclined to pee on all those that annoy them, rather than rewarding them with pork??

[Marieta Maglas]

I am here at your invitation and thank you very much for the confidence that you give me .I try to comment the poem for its literary aspect,because I do not know politics .I can see good and interesting similes here like:''Known as Bo,/it, like its master, likes to go'' and ''which is as cheap as talk''. The similarities between humans and animals has the power of suggestion in this great narrative satire and the conclusion is very well shown by this logic converging ideas .

[Zakmandu]

This time, the dog is wagging itself.

[Gershon Hepner]

Good question you ask. Will Bo's owners become WhiteHouse trained before Bo? Post your answer in my litterbox.

[LindasLookout]

Amusing poem taking us to other thoughts. As with a new pet, some of the enthusiasm has gone out of the Am. people with regard to BO. Do we pet him? Do we teach him our own tricks, and has he learned them fast enough? Should be just let him be a dog, sorry, president? Also, is he Housetrained?