The Word is Querulousness. That's Querulousness

I wanted to sound smart in the title of this post so I visited thesaurus.com synonyms for the word "jealousy" and "querulousness" caught my eye. I had never used it before and using new words offers me a brief yet magical moment of intelligence. Truth is, my vocab sucks.

Perhaps "sucks" is a bit harsh. I mean I do love words. I love playing with words. Pairing new words together. Taking new words out for a spin. But between my English as a second language upbringing (I was raised speaking a mushed up mix of Italian and broken English) and my intense fear of spelling and pronunciation mistakes, I tend to stick to words I know and feel comfortable using like "awesome" and "wicked awesome."

As a college co-ed I tried to follow though on a goal to randomly open the Dictionary and learn one new word a day for the rest of my life. Unfortunately that goal lasted until that Friday's frat party, suddenly my thirst for knowledge shifted to a thirst for keg-stands. ( I am really good at keg-stands).

So it's no surprise that yesterday I seethed with jealously as I watched recaps from the Scripps 2007 National Spelling Bee.

These bright, passionate, amazing children are wow-ing America with their ability to master the English language embrace words with such bravery and delight without spellcheck! And when they do make mistakes, they accept defeat with grace. These kids are all champions, making me feel like a loser.

I began to do what I always do when I feel envy and stupidity: get mean. Like a teenage bully I began poking fun at these dorks because after all smart equals geek, right? Nothing remained sacred.

Clothing, haircuts, the shape of their glasses frames, it was all up for critique by me -- the Meany monster who homework copied her way through much of high school. Interspersed throughout the recaps were mini-bios on competitors sharing background on their other hobbies and interests. Many of these brainiacs were also high achievers in other areas like music, math and sports. Anqui Dong enjoys comedic films with Garfield: The Movie being his favorite.

Ha, Garfield: The Movie is his favorite? Clearly this kid has no idea what good comedy really is. I mean come on, Garfield: The Movie? I guess comedic genius can be scratched from his resume.

(Note: I have never actually seen Garfield: The Movie; thus my labeling it as not a true comedy is based on nothing but my annoyance with Jennifer Love Hewitt.)

I also laughed at the silly words these kids were sweating over. Like an adolescent I snickered at "fauchard." Meanwhile a real-life adolescent, 12 year-old Mathew Evans eloquently asked judges to repeat the word "fauchard" not because he wanted to giggle at it's similarity to the word "fucktard" but because is a mature, English-excelling, genius competing in a honored competition and not a 20-something year old blogger patrolling the Craigslist.org ETC section of the job board looking for a short and easy, yet lucrative temp job.

After a solid 30 minutes of envy and immaturity, they replayed the clip of Evan M. O'Dorney winning the entire shebang. This 13 year-old enjoys the piano, juggling and eats fish before each competition. He is thin, goofy and absolutely adorable.

Truth is I love these kids. I love that they love spelling so much I love that they have the dedication and drive to succeed. I'm just mad that I didn't have that same gusto when I was a teenager (however I did have the awkward looks). Rather than find fault in these beautiful kids or resent my former kid-self, I can develop that dedication, that drive, that gusto in my adult-self.

Actually I take that back, I want to develop a piquant wit and an adherence to eminence. (Evan, did that last sentence make sense? Was it okay? I'm scared.)

Actually I take that back too. I just want to be wicked awesome.