John Edwards and the Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants

How many male politicians do you think are burning their little black books and expunging e-mails right now, as another of their brotherhood bites the dust from his own lack of zipper control?

We have way too much information about John Edwards and his self-described narcissism. Clearly, like any good lawyer, John Edwards can look us straight in the eye and lie like a rug, as he did initially about his affair with Rielle Hunter.

But then sex, lies, and politics go together like peanut butter, jelly, and bread in America. And sex scandals are the one aspect of government that consistently works across geography and party lines. After all John McCain has admitted to affairs himself. There's no partisanship in bed, except for short-lived tactics where the sway of sex can be used to bring one's opponent down

Georgia's former Republican Representative Newt Gingrich jumped onto Bill Clinton's fling with intern Monica Lewinsky and nearly brought down the Arkansas Democrat's presidency. Then Newt's House leadership position was checkmated by dint of his own peccadilloes. Idaho Congressman Larry Craig, who timidly toe-tapped men across toilet stalls, is a conservative Republican; former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, who brazenly procured women across state lines, is a liberal Democrat.

The question is why these scenarios keep repeating themselves. And the answer, like Gaul, divides into three parts.

First off, we should ask why these guys seem to believe everyone else is vulnerable to the consequences of their behavior but they themselves are going to get away with -- whatever it is they need to get away with. Like the time Spitzer turned to me during a dinner party discussion about some other politico's misbehavior and said with his trademark certainty, "I'm just a boring, dorky, Harvard-educated New York lawyer. Some scandal would make me seem more interesting."

Well, Eliot sure got his wish; not just the state but the entire nation was fascinated by his subsequent public humiliation. Running for political office takes a great deal of courage and a strong ego. Mix those with testosterone and the thrill of the risk, and it's not surprising that many men begin to believe they are invincible. And like a baby who thinks no one can see him when he has a blanket over his head, politicians are hiding in plain sight in this era of easy Internet research and YouTube.

But because there is so much shame and secrecy surrounding sex in the U.S., there is also a great deal of denial. So the second part is that American politics are particularly susceptible to being thrown into chaos by the sexual maladventures of our leaders. The more underground sex is pushed, the more surely people will resort to lies after they succumb to what is probably an elevated likelihood that they will taste the forbidden fruit. Meanwhile, Americans still don't have universal health care, and the economy is in the tank while all political energy is spent on someone's personal dalliance.

We seem to judge especially sharply the hypocrisy of politicians' lying about sex. That's the third part of the puzzle. Except for religious fundamentalists who are just generally obsessed with other people's sex lives, most voters are actually bothered much more by the lies than by the sexual behavior of our leaders, and for good reason. These men (remember, we still haven't had a woman president and only 16% of Congress and state governors are women) are making important decisions that affect our lives and livelihoods, after all. We need to be able to feel some level of trust in their judgment.

But are we using the correct measure? Europeans scratch their heads in wonder that we care who our president is having sex with: remember French President Francois Mitterand's mistress at his funeral along with his wife? Many other cultures have figured out that public figures are far less vulnerable to being derailed from the critical issues facing society when their sex lives can't be used as ammunition for coercion or impeachment.

Ever since The Scarlet Letter, Americans have demonstrated a difficult relationship with sex. We're terribly conflicted. Sex is used to sell everything from toothpaste to cars here. Popular music and culture are saturated with sex and sexual images. 800,000,000 (yes, that's pretty close to a billion) pornographic videos are rented every year. Yet try and get honest, straightforward sexual health information to our young people and see how quickly it gets squashed.

So if we are to learn from yet one more episode of a politician's traveling pants, the lesson is not that all men are cads or that you can't trust any politicians. Both might be partly accurate, but that doesn't mean the same flawed humans can't simultaneously accomplish good things. Occasionally even great things. Famous philanderers like John F. Kennedy took us to the moon, and Lyndon Johnson got the Civil Rights Act passed.

The more useful lesson to take from John Edwards and his brotherhood is that as a nation we need to get over ourselves and learn to deal with sex straightforwardly. That might bring us less titillating news on the morning shows, but at least we'd be able to keep our attention on solving problems that really matter.

Meanwhile, that smoky haze over Washington is more black books...

www.GloriaFeldt.com/heartfeldt-politics-blog

Comments

[gooseisloose]

"...that doesn't mean the same flawed humans can't simultaneously accomplish good things. Occasionally even great things."

Thank you for that, Gloria. The only part of the Edwards scandal that I believe is any of our business is the $114,000 in campaign contributions that funded Hunter's "webisodes." He needs to make that right. Other than that, he owes us nothing. And I believe so many politicians' hypocritical stances (and I include Craig's "wide stance" in that) on sexual/moral issues is somewhat forced on them by the public's expectations. They can exhibit all the leadership potential in the world, but their electability hinges on their ability to fit the mold of an upstanding family man (or woman). Or at least convincingly present themselves that way.

[truthskr]

The title of this post is one of the funniest I've ever seen on HuffPo.

By my judgement, what John McCain did was far worse than that perpetrated by John Edwards. That said, neither Party holds the high ground when it comes to morality or the ability to abide by wedding vows or, for that matter, the vows of office as professional political misdeeds, including outright illegal or morally reprehensible actions, are as prevelant among politicians as their private daliances.

I did want to mention that I just read your article in Elle magazine this month - "Where in the Hell Are All of the Women?" - and am absolutely delighted that you are shedding light on the very anemic numbers of women in office as we approach the general election and women, so desperately in need of such information, approach (hopefull) the voting both. As someone who has attended training provided by The White House Project, I am very supportive of women in office as well as training younger women, such as myself, to be the political leaders of tomorrow. Maybe once we get more minorities and women in office, we won't have such a constant glut of these personal scandals which, maybe simply due to the demographics of those in office, seem to be all but dominated by white men drunk on power and their love of self.

[GloriaFeldt]

Glad you like the title. It was irresistible.

Also, thanks for the comment on my Elle piece. One study found that once women reach 50% of the elected officials, the men start behaving better.

So are you running for office?

[truthskr]

Working on it so that maybe in 5-10 years when I'm ready to leave the corporate world, I will. Right now I'm just working on the campaigns of others from volunteering up to serving on campaign committees. I agree regarding male politicians' behavior when the mix of gender and races is balanced - they really can only get away with what others allow, and with so many political bodies occupied in high majority by white men, they are allowed to get away with a lot - from blatant philandering, to sexism, to racism, to unethical/unlawful professional behavior. I'm certainly not saying that women, or other non-white-male candidates are morally superior, I just believe that such behavior becomes the norm when you have any single group so dominant in any arena of power.

[rangem]

also i wonder if she made any other tape s that will come out later lmao

[rangem]

if john edward s want s to keep lying abnout being the father of his love child then why doesnt he take her to court to order a dna test that s the only way we will ever believe this lying cheat

[paix]

The significance of Mr. Edward's affair has nothing to do with sex! It has revealed the character of a man who asked us to elect him as our president.
Americans want a president who has wisdom and good judgement. As a democratic presidential candidate in a Fox News, Limbaugh, post Clinton-Lewinsky world, Mr. Edwards has not shown very good judgement in choosing to have unprotected sex with a "new-age former party girl". We expect our president to have integrity. Hiring your mistress, who has no previous experience as a videographer, to videotape you as you campaign for president, and repeatedly lying about your affair when it is discovered, does not show much integrity.
Finally, and most importantly, we want a president who puts the needs of the country ahead of his own. We expected Mr. Edwards to remember that Americans who have children in Iraq or Afghanistan; Americans with houses in foreclosure; Americans who can't afford to send their children to college; Americans who have lost jobs; Americans without health insurance; and Americans who are struggling to pay for gasoline, heating oil, and groceries put their faith in him to solve their problems. It was a sacred trust paid for with hard-earned campaign donations and volunteer time. Mr. Edwards violated that trust.

[charlot]

The only person whose trust Edwards violated was his wife. I will never, as long as I live, understand Americans' preoccupation with other people's sex lives. It's mind-boggling (and I'm American).

[busybeez]

As someone who has been married 32 years I would just say that anybody who has been married less than the Edwards probably have no understanding of what it means to be committed that long to someone. You go though a lot together, and sometimes an illness or devastating occurence can alter the sexual relationship for awhile or maybe forever. Doesn't mean you don't still love and respect your spouse.

[texastrixie]

When Bush was elected I told a co-worker that while Clinton has screwed one woman, Bush was going to screw all of us. Being TX, my co-worker was mightly offended. Having said that, maybe the answer is that if you want to go into politics, you learn to control yourself. What's wrong with expecting someone to get married and stay faithful. I have no problem, if during Elizabeth Edwards' cancer treatment, pretty boy had marched in and said he couldn't handle it and he wanted out. People divorce. But there is no excuse for being a coward and catting around. You don't love the person anymore - leave. But don't lie and sneak around. Doing what you're supposed to - why is this considered such a out-dated concept.

[sparkandy]

I couldn't agree more. What's wrong with being honorable?

[GloriaFeldt]

As another Texas native, I wish I'd thought of your line about Clinton and Bush!

And I think it is exactly the lying and cheating aspect of this that has me heartsick for Elizabeth, and for John too because has has been a god public servant and has now sullied himself.

[chappelforpres]

In truth, the private lives of public persons shouldn't be tabloid fodder. Unfortunately, they are. So what galls me, is how naively stupid leading Democrats can be! Hart, Clinton, Spitzer, Edwards? Not to anticipate Republican moles outing of your "illicit affair", is akin to driving around blind drunk on New Years Eve, horrified when you run smack up against a sobriety check. Why not just hand the Republicans another 5 points in the polls?

[learnsomething]

How about the "brotherhood of the dropping pants". hahahahahahahaha

[moonwatcher]

Sex outside of marriage should be a definite no no especially when children and a sick wife are involved. I do not which to see any more interviews about how Hunter was a sweet and kind women. She is 42 years old and did not use birth control. She had sex with a married man and they both didn't care about his family. They covered up their deed knowing most Americans would not approve. People who hurt their families like that deserve to wear a scarlet A around their neck. Right now I know longer want to see these people on my television set. I may change my mind about Edwards but I won't about Hunter. She knew he was married. As a woman I judge her more.

[Gloria Feldt - Huffpost Blogger]

Why wouldn't you judge both equally?

[Boadicea]

Well, I'm glad you didn't raise my daughter.

Because I'm a woman, I value compassion, and that's what I taught my child. People make all different kinds of mistakes; we're all extremely flawed creatures, men and women.

Jesus didn't say "Judge not that you not be judged" for nothing.

I certainly question the judgment that led the Edwards's to run for president, with Ms. Hunter on the campaign staff, no less. Yes, I question their political judgment. And I question the judgment of anyone who gets involved with a married person who has not left the marriage - that's a recipe for pain. Don't these people love themselves enough?

But I make no moral judgments myself of their behavior. That's between them and their own consciences. I'm much more inclined to judge the actions of a government that led us into an illegal and immoral and unnecessary war that cost us billions, and resulted in over a million senseless deaths.

[sparkandy]

There may be some who blame the man more in this case. Logically, I know they're equally at fault. Emotionally, since I just found out I'm being cheated on, I'm more inclined to blame the man. How you can blame her more than him is way beyond me.

[cheshirecat831]

It would be the same as if he were caught shoplifting...it is not about sex but about living a sneaky secret life, betraying friend and workers and being a hypocrite

Talking Pez Heads
http://sfbaysailingpix.com/pez2008p1.htm

[NABNYC]

When George Bush took control of this country in 2000 through a crooked election and a corrupt court, it was the equivalent of a coup. Since that time working people have been crushed losing job security, jobs shipped overseas, millions of illegal immigrants brought in to compete for jobs and drive down wages, benefits, working conditions. No more healthcare, holidays slashed, no pension, failing schools and rising college costs mean no future for their kids. Combined with overseas wars of aggression killing people foreign and domestic and making the world hate us. Looting the treasury and turning control of the media over to a few scum-dealers.

What do the neocons want people to do? Obsess on sex. Focus on the absurdity of other people's sex lives. Be diverted, distracted, silly and absurd. Ignore the obvious and moralize about monogamy. Edwards was not holding public office. He had an affair. It's nobodys' business but his, the girlfriend, and his wife. Everyone else who is jumping up to preach about how they are sexually monogamous is doing exactly what Rove, Cheney, and Murdoch hoped you would do. Next will be a rousing chorus of Women Are Whores followed by Gays Can Never Marry.

[learnsomething]

Great comments.

[AJinCamden]

WOW! Excellent. Thanks for writing my thoughts.

[Roger]

Ms. Feldt, yours is the most honest and fair post on this issue yet. It seems there is no end to the number of scolds and hacks who are piling on (on this site no less than anywhere else), but your take on it, and your calling out our national hypocrisy about sex has been a breath of fresh air. Thank you.

[foofighter]

It's what I've been saying all along: why get your panties (traveling or not) in a bunch over the sex life of a politician? Edwards is, anyway, not going to be the nominee and John McCain's sex life is not that of any saint I've ever heard of, so why the self-flagellations?

The exceptions are those who pretend to be virtuous themselves but are not as well as major hypocrites like Larry "I'm not gay" Craig who still works against gay rights and others like Foley,Vetter and the preacher Ted Haggard who "cured" homosexuality but could never cure his own.

And Eliot Spitzer who made something of a career of prosecuting prostitution rings. Enough said!

[Gloria Feldt - Huffpost Blogger]

Really, to Roger and foofighter, the hypocrisy we've seen over these issues has been breathtaking. Thanks for your comments.

[davedave]

"3's" the biggy.

i can't think of a philosophic or religious ethos where lying is a-ok.

d