FU TO THE FU TO THE IOFU

FOLLOW-UP TO THE FOLLOW-UP TO INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY FOLLOW-UP

In my last post, i informed all of you about an Investment Opportunity, called ANDYGUT: otherwise known as "The internet for people who don't have computers." Please see my earlier post, called "Investment Opportunity," or the follow-up to that post, entitled, "INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY FOLLOW-UP, or the follow-up to that, called "Follow-up to Investment opportunity Followup."

Again, THE CONCEPT: if someone would like to use the internet to find information, say, on building a fence gate, but they don't have a computer, they could simply go to one of the ANDYGUT kiosks and fill out a slip of paper, and we would do the research. We would then make a copy of the results, with hole punches, and place it in a binder. This would cost the consumer a modest price depending on the size of the attractive and versatile binder. It would probably cost no more than $175 per search.

GREAT NEWS FOR ALL INITIAL GROUND FLOOR INVESTORS! SOME RECENT DEVELOPMENTS:
ANDYGUT has purchased the URL www.theinternet.com.com, which is the front door to the entire internet. UNTIL RECENTLY, NO ONE has actually indexed the internet - so if there was a power outage and we lost parts of the internet, those portions would be lost forever! THIS IS WHY ANDYGUT will be printing out the entirety of the internet for the demanding public. Positioned as the take-with-you internet - ANDYGUT will simply print off copies you need of the 20 Billion or so pages Google has indexed, put them in a folder and "you're good to go!"
This isn't just a viable business plan, but a moral necessity.

-We have already secured a number of "name-recognizable" celebrities who have agreed to become spokesman for ANDYGUT. Although they cannot be named for legal reasons, we are extremely close to contacting the star of THE MADE FOR TV MOVIE, "Pray for the Wildcats," Marjoe Gortner! (As well as character actor Don Stroud's stepson, Zack!) We tried to contact Anthony Zerbe, but he is deceased.

-WE have been "soft-launching" our kiosks in a dozen major city centers. A soft-launch is a term for a gradual roll-out over time. We are already buying up available real estate, focusing on Chevy's Fresh Mex restaurants, because the benefits of making the internet in-house is similar to the benefits of making tortillas in-house. (Having a major component of the internet made fresh and not from outside sources improves the quality of the internet searches performed) .Currently, most tortilla-making machines can create up to 1,500 tortillas per minute. This is exactly the kind of efficiency and speed the internet needs.

STILL, I can see by my earlier post, there are some pertinent questions and concerns. Let me address them. (I am saving the fitness questions for a later post!)

J2 WRITES: A large portion of your targeted demographic are the 'elderly' who disproportionately suffer from arthritis. Also they are impatient, easily frustrated and clumsy. III) Ring binders are notoriously difficult to open and close. OLD PEOPLE + BINDER RINGS = LAWSUITS !!!$$$ All clients should be required to sign waivers releasing ANDYGUT of legal liabilities for injuries related to our product .
GREG RESPONDS: J2 is correct, but it's not simply the elderly we have to be concerned about. ANDYGUT will also be providing the "papered" internet to the mentally disturbed, infants and the handicapped. This is why we have the standard "rubberized ring binder," in which the rings will be made of a flexible Isoprene rubber (IR). This will feel very much a natural rubber, however, it does not contain proteins, fatty acids and the other substances that give natural rubber its appealing taste. It will be treated with a surface chemical that will give it a very bitter taste, like a tepid glass of Mr.Pibb.

PUSHNA WRITES: I was commenting "to fellow readers" about the sad state of affairs in America -- that many people don't care to do their own research and form their own opinions, yet think they know a lot about the world, and worse still, VOTE!PPS. I'm fascinated that you see this issue in terms of race. Are you suggesting that some races are more inclined to be curious about the world? Do share this insight of yours with us. PPPS. As one of your first online searches, may I suggest the term "racism" ;)
GREG RESPONDS: Pashna, This is not the time or place for this kind of hate and intolerance. Suggesting that I start using my business to foment racialism against other people makes me sick to my stomach. Pesna, I have put you on a special list, which I have posted in the Huffington Post lunchroom, so that all the other HP employees are aware of your destructive antics.

NETHICUS WRITES: I know I'm throwing money away by suggesting this, but the kiosks should provide delivery services for a nominal fee. Even throw in a "knowledge in under 40 minutes or it's free!" incentive. It's an idea worth billions...
GREG WRITES: WE ARE already on it, Nethicus! But because we are in a highly competitive bidding process in purchasing Summit 24 inch Adult Three Wheel trikes, I cannot discuss this. However, we are also looking into technology whereas we can actually SEND the information to you without having to show up at your house!!!

SCOTTA WRITES: Why not provide markers, glue sticks, and glitter at a table at the kiosks for people to decorate the binders! It could be like using a computer at Kinkos, where you'd pay an hourly fee to sit at the table. And obviously there'd need to be monitors to make sure people don't hog the materials or use like a whole jar of glitter on one cover. I don't know, just an idea.

GREG WRITES: FANTASTIC IDEA SCOTTA. Binder-decoration is a huge and often neglected aspect of the binding industry ("Connectionist Syntactic Parsing Using Temporal Variable Binding", Journal for Variable Binding, 2/1/89, pp 302 - 305). Interestingly, Taizhou Henco-Glue Co., Ltd. makes excellent gluesticks, but they are located in Hongjia Plastic Industrial Zone, Jiaojiang District, Taizhou City, Zhejiang Province. China. If you have any contacts, any help would be greatly appreciated. And could you ask about discounts?

MKL WRITES:
I think a big market will be overseas where the internet is censored or banned completly. You know, countries that Lefties say we have to respect their customs as they shoot women for wearing nail polish or families for trying to leave the country...I'm sure that citizens of those countries are more then willing to wait until the binder is mailed to them.
GREG WRITES: We are already on it. The thing is, many of the search orders we've received from them are actually blood-spattered slips of paper featuring scribbled cries for help. This is just not a feasible economical model.

ANSWER TO CLEVELAND CHICK: I got your email, and it's not surprising. Tardive dyskinesia may result in patients on long term antipsychotic treatment or may appear after said drug therapy has been stopped. The risk appears to be greater in elderly females, so I'd see a doctor pronto!

THAT'S ALL FOR NOW: If any of you are still interested in investing in this wonderful opportunity, there are still spaces available on THE GROUND FLOOR.

YOURS PROFESSIONALLY,
GG